"Everybody Hates Chris" is one of my favorite shows ever. Although it dealt heavily in hyperbole, the message of family togetherness, surviving struggle, and the will to be understood were something we could all understand. The titular character's relationship with his Father was my favorite part of the show. Julius, portrayed by an ALWAYS IN LONG SLEEVES SO YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW BIG HE WAS Terry Crews was a hardworking, no nonsense character that stressed the value doing what you were paid to do to the very best of your ability. To Julius, there was no such thing as "on time". You were either early, or you were late. Great words to live by. In 1988, Chris Rock's actual father Julius died from ulcer surgery. I'm no doctor, but I know ulcers are typically brought on by stress, so there's that.
Yeah... those jumpsuits were necessary.
We live in a world where we have unparalleled access to our favorite actors, entertainers and athletes. I can send a tweet to hulk hogan RIGHT NOW (but I'm not gonna, brother) or tell Michael Jordan how great he is on Facebook (is Michael Jordan on Facebook?) if I so desire. But just because I have that ability doesn't change the relationship. I'm still a customer, and they are still trying to sell me something. We aren't friends, aren't pals, aren't all of a sudden part of the same UNIVERSE. The rules are a bit different, but the game is the same - These people are here to give me something, until they aren't. Then they aren't.
Some type of way...
People have the feels for LeBron James like no one else. He brings out REAL emotion in them. Best basketball player on earth, perhaps the very best athlete to ever bounce a ball. He's been famous since high school, commands more media attention that anyone else, and his every move is over analyzed and heavily criticized. We know the narrative - kid from northeast Ohio, gets drafted by his local team, gets that ass whooped year in and year out, holds a TV special saying he's out the door, fans burn jerseys. I'm not from Cleveland, and have never been there. I'm spoiled - I grew up supporting a storied football franchise as well as the picture of modern success basketball franchise. But I wasn't pissed when Champ Bailey was traded for Clinton Portis. I didn't lose my cool when Tim Duncan was looking into playing in Orlando. AND I DIDN'T FLIP OUT WHEN MY ALL TIME FAVORITE POINT GUARD WASN'T ACQUIRED! You know why? Because these are jobs. No one that I don't work for owes it to me to work at a certain place, especially if they have a better deal on the table someone. ESPECIALLY if working somewhere else will make them happier. Disappointment is one thing, but we would all leave our jobs if another job was more fulfilling. Or paid more money. It's the American way! Need proof of that? The same people that were out BURNING JERSEYS are writing letters, making videos, and doing everything they can to make the King's homecoming as royal as possible. Fandom is a series of temporary emotions, like a relationship with a jerk that buy lots of presents. Presents are the best "I'm sorry"s ever invented.
Stay woke.
The one thing that makes people more angry than there favorite athlete switching teams is their favorite athlete quitting. And that's a bit more tangible. If you're like me, you can't just up and quit your job. You have to show up, day after day, take shit, and then repeat the process time and time again. Even if you're great with your money, you haven't saved up enough to just walk away, unless you have something else waiting in the wings. I need to get my wings right. Anyway, when your favorite star walks off a show, or the field, or from the wrestling ring, it's difficult to understand how they could do such a thing. At least on the surface.
Yesterday, I wrote about Daniel Bryan, perennial underdog, his rise to the top of the WWE and his current fight to resume his career. In many ways, his ascension mirrored that of CM Punk, RETIRED professional wrestler. CM Punk was anti-superstar, a guy with a natural body, poor disposition, and the self confidence to voice his opinions when things weren't going the way he deemed appropriate. If Daniel Bryan's rise was meteoric, Punk's was that slow burn, a series of starts and stops that ultimately culminated with an Indian style sit down, a Steve Austin T Shirt, and a Pipe Bomb. From that day forth, Punk was a major player, engaging in feuds with the very top talents, and having the longest title reign basically since I've been a real boy. But things change, focus changes, and things you can't account for occur. Other people get popular. Not everyone is your biggest fan. Your body gets worn down. You see people around you struggle. These are all things that happen at our jobs, but typically on a much smaller scale.
Gotta love it.
So you have a guy that doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink, and doesn't buy gaudy gifts. But makes LOTS OF MONEY. When you only bad habit is women, and you find a way to get through that habit with no kids and all your body parts in tact, you've won at the game of life. WWE has maintained a hold on many a wrestler because of the money they needed to make up for the money they lost. Not this guy. He's set financially, and at the point where he knows his best physical days are behind him. Much like LeBron, Punk has legions of fans that just want him on their team. I've been a fan for years and years. I've seen the guy in person at two Wrestlemanias. But when I heard he wasn't going to be there, I didn't hold it against him. If our companies paid us on the scale they pay him, then the politics of that company didn't augur with what we desired, wouldn't we walk away too? I can't sacrifice my well being for anyone I'm not feeding IF I'm not happy doing it anymore. A smile and a thank you just isn't worth my body. Celebrity is a responsibility, but sacrificing oneself isn't a requirement if it isn't in you anymore.
So... y'all mad?
I can't fault a fan for cheering a guy on, and getting emotionally invested in them. But you have to take some things from a personal standpoint, and understand that same desire to be great at their crafts influences their willingness to do what's best for THEMSELVES. All we can really ask is for greatness WHILE WE HAVE THEM. Anything else would just be unrealistic.
When they put "indefinitely" next to your name, it's almost always a bad thing. Typically, you think suspensions, meaning that ass may never be back. So when I heard Daniel Bryan was out "indefinitely", a myriad of emotions came over me. There was fear, there was sadness, then there was relief. I don't know which one is going to hold on the longest for me, let alone what he's thinking, but it's all at once scary, heart wrenching, and well, kind of ok.
The Apex.
Bryan Danielson was one of the last of the "indy darlings", a guy that made a name for himself outside of one of the large, nationally televised wrestling promotions. Trained by WWE Legend Shawn Michaels (San Antonio stand up) he was a guy that was under 6 feet tall, less than 220 pounds. We all know guys of that same build in real life that can hold their own in a fight, but wrestling promoters were always trying to make stars out of the guys that "turn heads at airports." Danielson wowed crowds with hard hitting moves and submission holds, to where his size was a n afterthought during and after his matches. He could also talk a good game, never boring or stale. HE was someone you could make money off of.
OG "American Dragon" ROH days.
A few years back, he signed a deal with WWE, in an effort to make some real money before his career was over. He was on the inaugural season of "NXT", a quasi-reality show where new wrestlers would compete in matches and competitions in front of the same crowds the main roster was up against. Made to lose match after match, Daniel Bryan (his "new name") still stood out for his athleticism, regardless of the lines Michael Cole was fed to make him look unimpressive. Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, of MTV fame, notably asked "what have you ever done?" time and time again, since all of Bryan's notoriety had been built outside of the WWE. William Regal boldly stated that Bryan was "better" than Miz, which didn't seem to be the story they were pushing.
That about sums up NXT.
After the NXT experience, the competitors on that show were dubbed "The Nexus", a kind of "New Blood meets NWO" stable for those that suffered through the late stages of WCW. They famously kicked the crap out of John Cena, CM Punk, and whoever else was at ringside. Bryan was actually fired for choking out a ring announcer with his own tie. In a world of scripted violence, this was deemed to harsh an act. He was shortly brought back into the WWE mix, and put on some very good matches in the middle of the card.
Justin Roberts auditioning for Gyp in 'Boardwalk Empire'.
In the summer of 2011, he won a "Money in the Bank" contract, which gives the winner a title match at the time of his choosing. He exercised this option later in the year to pin an already downed Big Show, and became World Heavyweight Champion. Much in the vein of Rey Mysterio years earlier, he wasn't booked to win his matches outright, but by hook, crook, or disqualification, he had been expanding his character, becoming increasing frustrated with the fan base, and chanting "NO!" at every turn. It caught on, and more and more people would chant along with him. This is around the same time my fantastic girlfriend got me the birthday gift of a lifetime - Tickets to Wrestlemania 28 in Miami, FL. I was going to get to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wrestle for the first time ever, and Daniel Bryan would also be defending his Wold Heavyweight Championship against Sheamus.
It was shocking, and frustrating, to the point the crowd flooded the arena with boos. The Wrestlemania crowd is different, in that they want the best PERFORMERS TO BE ABLE TO PERFORM. They saw this as a real slight to a hard worker, and the next night, made it clear to WWE this wouldn't be accepted. At Monday Night Raw, the following night, we were in unison with the other spectators chanting "YES!" or "NO!" depending on the situation, and when Bryan came out for his match, the entire place was into his every move, word, hell, breath, as we voiced our total support for him. This would continue on, sometimes a murmur, other times full on cult like chants, depending on the venue.
Over the next two years, Bryan's matches got better, his mic work got better, and his fan base expanded. Memorable matches with CM Punk, his comedic skits with Kane, all did more to solidify him a player in the big leagues, regardless of his size and perceived "it" factor. At Summerslam 2013, Daniel Bryan beat an ailing John Cena for the WWE Title in a fantastic match. I had friends over, and we all watched the match intently, hoping to see the underdog come out on top, and we were all jumping and high-fiving at the matches conclusion. The moment was short lived, as the same "money in the bank" stipulation Bryan rode to his first title was used against him. Randy Orton, with a huge assist from COO Triple H, beat Bryan for the title. Over the next few months, we were treated to (terrible, boring, pointless) skits about why Bryan wasn't a fit champion. It was his hair, his beard, his height, his weight, and how he would never be more than a "B+ player" (a play of a term used against Triple H years back).
Honeymooners meets Scooby and Scrappy.
What we did still get were fantastic matches from him. Whether it was going against Orton, The Shield, or The Wyatt family, it was the same in your face, hard hitting style fans had grown accustomed to. At the 2014 Royal Rumble (where we had one of our super fun Rumble night contests) Bryan lost a really good match to cult leader Bray Wyatt. People expected him to participate in the actual Rumble match, but he never showed. This caused even more outrage, as the match considered most important (outside of 'mania) by most didn't have one of the biggest starts in the company. This set the wheels in motion for Bryan to finally face Triple H one on one at Wrestlemania, for the chance to participate in the WWE World Heavyweight Title match later that night. Bryan and Triple H had a GREAT match that Bryan ultimately won, and he would go on to defeat Randy Orton and Batista later that night to earn the title. It was great being there live, as it was the culmination of the last two years, going from disrespect to the ultimate accolade.
It's hard to say exactly when Daniel Bryan hurt his neck. Whether it was prior to Mania, or after, he wrestled Kane at the following pay per view, then was "injured" shortly after. He underwent neck surgery, and was expected to be out no more than two months. Between Mania and surgery, he had married his girlfriend, WWE Diva Brie Bella, and lost his father. The gamut of emotions had definitely been ran, followed by maybe the biggest career obstacle he had faced. At the June "Money in the Bank" pay per view, he came out and announced that he may need an additional surgery, which gave people plenty of reason to doubt when he'd be back. Over the last few days, it was reported he'd be written out of story lines as no return date had been set.
Good Times.
You never want to see someone good at their job forced out. It goes against the principles of hard word. The guy does whatever he can to defy the odds, makes it to the very top, then can't continue. You feel for him. Then you think of the Chris Benoits and Eddie Guerreros of the world, guy who, if you could control it, would have walked away well before tragedy struck. Who knows, he may be back later this year as good as ever. But then you look at guys like Edge, who was forced out due to injury, but is stable, seems happy, and is going to be able to tell his children about the great things he did. All in all, if we never get to see Daniel Bryan in the ring again, his story is one to appreciate, his matches are to be studied and applauded, and his path, hard as it was, is hopefully one people will follow.
(note - none of these statuses are edited or fabricated.)
Do you guys see where this is going? Get ready...
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Facebook was better (better meaning you didn't have to turn your screen at the job to use it) when you had to have a college email to use it.) I've never been one to hold my tongue. I'm outlandish, I'm rude, I'm petty. These are all things you've probably gathered from reading here, or if you rock with me on social networks. But the irony of the things I say are very rarely lost on me. Outside of being prone to typos (the I before E thing haunts me to this day) I'm fairly aware of the things I contribute to. To the point where I've had "Come to Jesus" conversations with my mom (still gonna block you mom!) several times. But my words, my links, even my retweets often pale in comparison to the portion of the population that only uses Facebook/twitter from mobile devices.
It went from zero to ratchet - REAL QUICK.
If you'd believe my timeline, these things would ring true - "niggas ain't shit, these heauxs ain't shit, if you ain't suckin' ya mans dick, that's why he's over here with me, we gettin' money and y'all ain't doin' shit, I hate my baby daddy, I hate my baby momma, real recognize real and you lookin' kinda unfamiliar (ok that one's lifted) and if you don't make this much and ya dick ain't this big, what are you bringing to the table?"
Yes, go read that back one more time, aloud if you have the freedom to.
Where did it all go wrong? When did airing out all of your dirty laundry for the likes become what's hot in the streets? I can't answer that, because I have neither the time or the motivation. I'm just her for the li... to entertain. If the opposite sex isn't treating you fairly in your estimation, that can be a problem. We've all felt less than attractive, or less than appreciated, at one point or another. But proclaiming "he/she really ain't worth my time, I'm so over it" proves that 1) they are worth the time for you to type it out and 2) WHENEVER someone says I'm over it, it's a clear signal that they aren't. Think about it - have you ever told your parents "i ate all my vegetables"? HELL NO, not unless you threw them shits away when they weren't looking!!! It's against our nature to celebrate the things that upset us. We say those type of things to inspire emotions in the other party, that is probably off doing something that makes them happy. Right now. While you waste time writing about them hoping that they see it!
Yeah... THAT'S why she isn't getting married. lolololololololololol.
Now as far as the heaux statuses go, man listen - man or woman, it's the ugliest part of a timeline. Shocking? Yes. Funny? Sometimes. Offensive? Always! People use Facebook as their own Talk show set, discussing the ins and outs of their sex lives for public consumption. Which is all good, but you have to be ready for the backlash. If you make a heaux status, and someone calls you a heaux, how can you be upset? And who are you upset at? Every time you hit that 'update status' option, you are giving the world a glimpse into who you are. and if you don't take the time to go over it, why should they take the time to examine it? Everyone's not a comedian, and for the most part, you can gauge sometimes affinity for sarcasm. Passing judgement isn't ideal, but stating that "I'll do what ya girl/guy won't" and getting offended when someone calls you out your name isn't being realistic. Heaux.
... The more you know.
In short - self awareness will ultimately limit the lengths you'll go to for attention, and probably save you from a bunch or (rational) strangers calling you all types of jackasses and sluts. Because if you didn't see the validity, you wouldn't get offended. Jackass.
(I'll save you my tears and agony, and just list the preview word for word!)
If the preview on their site still holds up, it can be viewed here.
Purpose - Creating a service in the Central Texas area where you pay a monthly fee to have liquor delivered (not sold) to your home on Sundays.
I was at dinner with a few friends, planning out a "Sunday Funday". It was around 8:30 PM, and we were talking about it being a shame we wouldn't have time to buy any liquor. As many people know, you can't buy liquor in Texas on Sundays, or any type of alcohol before noon on Sundays. I thought aloud "it would be cool if someone could just bring you liquor on Sundays." It stuck in my mind the rest of the night, so much so I kept bouncing ideas off of my girlfriend the entire ride home. I'm a big fan of Netflix, Hulu Plus, and Xbox live. Paying a monthly fee for the things I care about never really bothers me with the level of entertainment I get out of them. Why can't the same thing happen with liquor? I want to create a service in Central Texas where you can pay a monthly fee to have liquor brought directly to you on the days you can't actually get to it without going to a bar or restaurant. If this works, I'd love to expand it further than just the Austin area, to anywhere in Texas that would have such a demand. If you think this is something you'd want to subscribe to, or if you just like to see fresh ideas realized, please support my campaign to add some convenience to weekend enjoyment.
Risks and Challenges
I think the biggest obstacle will be getting the subscription service off the ground. As an unproven brand, I'm sure people will want to see proof of this working before the shell out their money. I'd approach this by offering smaller introductory fees. There's also the obstacle of travel and timeliness. Myself and a few trusted friends would start off as the delivery people to make sure deliveries and timely and without incident. As the subscription level increases, I plan on bring on employees to help accommodate increased membership. There's also the matter of obtaining a liquor license, which would be applied for once the funding goals are met. This is certainly something that couldn't be produced in just a few weeks, but having the funding necessary will certainly speed the process along.
Incentives
Pledge $10 or more
A personalized thank you card!
Estimated delivery: Dec 2014
Ships within the US only
Pledge $25 or more
An invitation to our Sunday kickoff party!
Estimated delivery: Oct 2014
Ships within the US only
Pledge $50 or more
An invitation to our Sunday kickoff party AND your name on a "thank you" banner at the party!
Estimated delivery: Oct 2014
Pledge $200 or more
A party, catered by us, during the football Sunday of your choosing! (must be in the Austin/San Antonio area)
Estimated delivery: Nov 2014
Pledge $1,000 or more
Your last name used as one of the subscription level names!
Estimated delivery: Oct 2014
The email I got from kickstarter -
Unfortunately, this project does not meet our rules, as delivery
services are outside of our scope. This isn't a judgment on the quality
of this project, just a reflection of our focus.
We wish you the best as you continue to pursue this endeavor. If you
have future projects that meet our focus, we hope you'll consider
Kickstarter again.
It could've been cool! But I guess we'll never know. Unless someone out there wants to throw your boy 15 racks. Then... we'll see!!!
