6 minutes of nothing.

What's the only thing worse than being in S.O.D. Money Gang? Being ex-communicated from S.O.D. Money Gang! West Coast collective Show Stoppas shoot (yes, wrestling terminology folks) on Soulja Boy, or at least attempt to i nthe longest, most drawn out 350 seconds of my life.

"We don't want no more niggers in the city!"

More on this bullshit later...

Kanye West ft. Kid Cudi - Welcome to Heartbreak

Here's the new vid from Kanye off 808's and Heartbreak.

Grammy Wins and Freedom Losses

What a Grammy weekend it was… first and foremost you know I have to get on Chris Brown (pause) for what went down. Long story short, be came outta kayfabe (god I’m a mark) and put the horns to Rihanna so to speak. And he did so after he found out she was Typhoid Maryin’ dude on the herpes tip. That she got from a rapper. Who’s on the “Swagger Like Us” posse cut. And is married. We know who that leaves, and are you surprised? Like, we heard they had been getting’ down for awhile now, and who here thinks you could ever have anything relative to an interested conversation with Beyonce? (Come on, I’m either really, really wrong or she’s dead behind the eyes) So dude turned himself into authorities and they both missed their performances this at the big show. My take? Good riddance. That double your pleasure shit is the worst song ever because a) it sucks and b) they had the nerve to expose themselves and put it in that double mint commercial (though maybe they should get credit for honesty?)
So anyway, on to the awards… like all the big awards shows, people I’ve never heard of won alotta shit. Actually in this case, the only act I wasn’t familiar with was Plant & Krauss, and hell, they won like everything. Coldplay got there’s as well, and with all the black co-signs they get, I suppose all is well in that department. I was hella glad Adele got her just due. She’s a real talent, and its great that even though she doesn’t have that traditional beauty (see: sex appeal) she can flat out blow and her music has feeling.
So now its time to rant… what the fuck was with that Stevie Wonder/ Jonas Brother Ccusterfuck!?!? They were like “show me what you got Stevie!” when it was his turn to sing. WTF? Who the hell are they to ask Stevie to sing? He shoulda been like “nigga, I got tens of millions sold and hundreds in pocket… show me what your flavor of the month ass got!” But you know how long they’ll be on top… just look at Hanson. Also, my dude Kanye just couldn’t resist… but they shoulda known not to let that nigga present an award he never won. My take? They knew what they were gonna get and it’s what they wanted. And Katy Perry… oh Katy Perry. Bless her heart. Since I love when I’m applauded, I’ll thank Illseed for recognizing my comedic genius when I called her about as talented as “Madonna without the 80’s as an excuse.” She can’t sing, dance, and I bet she didn’t even write that song… not that most do, but she has no discernable talent to speak of. And she’s probably not even eating the monk, so where’s the payoff?
Wayne snagged his 4 awards, and I was happy for him. Hard work should pay off, and his banner year continued. In my opinion, everyone’s individual performances outdid the “Swagger Like Us” posse performance, most notably Tip’s and Wayne’s. When T.I. said “character will take you places money cant, I felt like I had won something. What? I’ll never know I guess. I wonder what category 808’s and Heartbreak will fall into next year. R&B or Alternative? Speaking of R&B, let me speak on ol’ gay ass Ne-Yo. The fact that he managed to look extra gay on a stage with three R&B singers (granted Smokey’s a legend with the hoes, Jamie is, um, pretty manly and the last surviving Four Tops member is so old it wasn’t called “gay” back then) shows just how damn soft Dougie the Whale is (You know you remember that episode of Fresh Prince.) And how the hell was that Year of the Gentleman shit nominated for album of the year?
All in all, it was a good show, and I’m hoping, just hoping, a rapper does well enough to get Best New Artist next year (I send my draft classes to Madden if that makes sense.)
And props to M.I.A for showin’ naked (and pregnant) ass durin’ the show. “Even though too many white folks who don’t get the song jam it, it was definitely worthy for Song of the Year.
AND props to J.Hud for winning R&B album of the year and that great performance in the wake of all her struggles. Keep you head up kid!

Grammy Weekend (Before the Grammys)

What a weekend it was. Your boy got his drink on, his um, groove on and his televised top 40 on. To start, my old roomate from Houston came into town and took me to restaurant after restaurant (I feel like a 3rd world kid sometimes, three squares just doesn’t fit my schedule) and we did the 6th street thing. I was pissed that I just opened a new bank account (Bank of America can eat a sack of baby dicks) and forgot to bring cash to the mall. They were sellin’ 501’s for 35 bones at Macy’s! For a guy who went through the $200 jeans phase, I knew I was losing. Hit the town that night with the old roomie and the newly returning one, who was, again, in a world of his own. I could spend a day talkin’ about how off the hook this guy is, but ill keep it short. I had to plead with him not to take his Ipod into the club. Yeah, what I just said. And he was doin’ the new Texas two-step aka “the stanky legg” so low to the ground (pause) half the club stopped to look at him. We finished the night at this club that’s a New Orleans restaurant during the day (no free publicity here.) It’s the place in Austin you’ll find the most young black people, and in turn the random Hispanic/white girls who are plotting on their loins (word to Kid Cudi.) And I’m saying this because I care: Texas State girls are easy. I saw one of my good friends from back home, and dude is engaged (with no kid) and his little sister’s pretty, um grown up. Nice cap to a great weekend. Oh yeah, and I watched the Grammy’s, get to that in a sec…

Supra Suprano High

What wrong hath Chris Brown wrought? Lil' homey gets credit for bringin' Supras to the forefront, and these are certainly an example of when brakin' the mold goes hella right. Bout a bill 25 outta your pocket.

Bugsy and Yung Berg... Where did it all go wrong?

One of the, oh, 7 good rappers out of San Antonio Bugsy speaks on the silliness taht is Yung Berg. And to all of you who arent from Texas, the haircut on the right is a Southside Fade. And is that a Big Tuck sample in the background?



"Your chain is on tour!" GREATNESS.

Cam'ron - I Hate My Job

Namesake is back with, a conscious record? Whatever it is, it's a good look. Glad to have him back, specially after the kiddie pool incident...

Back like I never left.. and I brought beef! Wait...

So remember, oh… like a year ago when Fat Joe released that album Elephant in the Room? Neither do I, save for the fact that his single was catchy (“I Won’t Tell” with J. Holiday) and your favorite rapper 50 Cent came up with the Brilliant Elephant in the Sand, complete with front and back covers (for an online mixtape) and the goal of registering more downloads than Fat Joe could sales. So after the 1st week numbers came out and Joe didn’t fare so well, 50 took to his um, social networking site (why) and touted himself as the victor. But he preceded this by congratulating, in his words, “the boss… Ricky Ross” on the sales of his Trilla album (which is a damn good listen I might add.) Fast forward a good year, and behold, some niggas beefin’.

I still don’t understand 50’s problem with Ross, but I mean, does dude really need an excuse at this point? He got in the game blasting Ja Rule for um, channeling his inner (radio) Pac, which was completely understandable from a fan’s perspective. Perhaps it’s the same thing with Ross. Now that everyone knows he was a correctional officer (my pops recently became a c.o., but he never claimed to sell dope) it was only a matter of time before somebody pulled his card right? But I don’t think any of us thought it would be 50. So, 50 released what my dude Broken Cool called “a pretty damn good diss track” to which Ross responded “I’ll give you 48 hours to come up with a better one.” That was a big mistake. One thing 50 doesn’t do well with is to not be congratulated for his work (are he and Kanye really all that different?) so 50 in turn pulled his other card, you know, the bitches card, and coerced (see: paid) his baby’s mother to appear on camera and set the record straight on ol’ Ricky. She not only confirmed his former employer, but explained that during a child support hearing, he had her vehicle repossessed! Not if they were trying to say he took it or he had been paying for it and couldn’t anymore, I can’t say. But she went on to explain that he owns virtually nothing, and leases it all (does that matter?) and 50 provides enough facial expressions to seal the deal. And speaking of sealing deals,

50 lets us know he’s going to help her put out a book detailing her experience with “Officer Ricky” (fun.) They then proceed to paint the town ghetto buy purchasing mink coats (doesn’t she live in Florida?) and Gucci shoes while an unknown woman tags along and does the same. And 50 beat them cakes. Not on video, but come on… she’s in good shape and those lips are made for, well, snitchin’ and the other thing some of these lesser individuals do to get ahead (want some cheeseburgers?) So here we are a day removed from the incident, and what's Rick’s response? For her to go ahead and milk 50 for what he’s worth, cuz since she aint suckin’ him no more why would he pay her (other than to feed his seed of course.) 50 has now promised to bring Ross’ former labelmates Jackie-O (Poe Lil’ Rich Milk Carton Girl) and Trick Daddy, who is probably very offended at Ross’ behavior cuz as we all know, Trick loves the kids. Is there any end in sight to this beef? Prolly not till both albums hit stores, but you know how that goes… and if you don’t it’s because you haven’t realized that this whole thing is manufactured. Apparently, to cut their losses, Def Jam has issued a gag order on Rick Ross to avoid him getting into a “beef” as it were.

So who’s going to win? Well us, of course. We get to see 50 do what he does best: clown people and have fun doing it. And Ross? Well, the funny thing about him is that I don’t thin we ever believed what he was selling. The great thing about him what that we as fans love drug stories and good production, and he has both. I think his sales will snag a bit from the three people who thought he was really a drug kingpin. He never did shitty thug love songs like Ja Rule (only shitty thug sex songs like Port of Miami’s “Hit You from the Back”, yuck) and even went so far as to say “It’s a movie baby!” on DJ Khaled’s “I’m So Hood” Remix, or original, or whichever one had 13 niggas on it (both you say?) So um, here’s to everybody being friends… after a dozen or so more non-violent shots are thrown.

80s Reboot: Stop Shoving The Cube In My Chest!

With the upcoming summer blockbuster GI Joe we have another 80s cartoon hittting the silver screen. 80s kids are now all grown up and have the disposable income to support this non sense. Once Hollywood discovered the taste of the audience they have proceeded to shove trash after trash down their throats or cubes into their chest. Now all their valued childhood movies are leaving the pages of comics and T.V. shows and onto the big screen. Whoopty effin do! 

Now mind you some of these movies are good. But how hard is it to do a Michael Bay style movie? They have basially broken it down into a science. Entice viewers in with "emphathetic" and "charming" main characters that are living into oblivion until their moment of truth. Surround them with a cast of 'fun', 'dynamic' and stereotypical characters. Mix a universal 'love to be hated' villian with some witty one liners and throw in as much testocerone as possible. Explosions, guns, cars, car chases, and sex objects. The end result is HOPEFULLY your average summer blockbuster that is memorable but not TOO memorable. Meaning it hopes you will tell all your friends to watch and hopefully you come back and watch multiple times. And not too memorable in that you will realize that its the same movie you been watchin since Bad Boys(thank you Mr. Bay) The only thing better is watching Olivia Munn diving into some pie right?

GI Joe has a chance of being entertaining. But my early childhood is being neutered, butchered and raped with R. Kelly pissin on it!, I will not support GI Joe. With gaming surpassing movies Hollywood better find some new tricks if they wanna continue to be a dominant force in the entertainment industry. And if i see a damned reboot of Captain Planet somebody gotta burn! Who wants to see a teal skinned, green haired pedofile environmentalist driving around in a Prius in his underwear? Please Hollywood stop shoving the cube into my chest and give me a movie that captivates my imagination. Thats what attracted us to these cartoons/comics in the first place.