It was "groupme" storytime, and this gem was released.

(Note - More than minimal savagery was expressed here.  Dictated, and not written.)

Let's see, the year was 2007.  Her name was (name redacted) and she attend (school name redacted) In Jackson TN. Meet her at the local white college bar. She slid me her number on a cocktail napkin cause her buddies were looking at her funny for chattin with me. Molly isn't living on campus cause she has a house. So she invites me over after a few sushi dates. I smash and dash. But one weekend she ask me to stay for the weekend. I agreed.
Get there Friday night and stay till Sunday. Woke up Sunday she cooked breakfast butt naked. Afterwards I'm getting head on the couch, I hear some key shingle in the door. She immediately knows it's her dad. I couldn't move fast enough. Then I thought why am I running, we ain't in high school anymore. I grab my shorts and right when they get pulled over my erection her dad pops in the living room.
"SO THIS IS WHY IM PAYING FOR A HOUSE FOR YOU TO FUCK BLACK BOYS" Then looks at me and goes " you've fucked with the wrong one nigger" then leaves to go to his truck. She gives me this stare like you prolley gonna die. I grab my shit and hop the gate. I'm on the side of the house waiting for the clear, this dude pulls a fucking 12 gauge from his truck and goes back in the house. As soon as he enters I get to my car and drive off. Bitch text me a couple days later saying sorry. So I later find out that her dad was the Fucking GM of (company name redacted) from Memphis to Nashville. And that this wasn't her 1st run in with a negro. Abortion in high school. Negro baby daddy.
That's the only time I think I said I'm leaving these white hoes alone.

Monday Morning Coffee: Toro Y Moi - So Many Details

Wake up World.

You Should be Watching Broad City.

Tell a friend to tell a friend.

Two women stand outside of a New York basketball park watching men play a pickup game.  They talk to each other in short bursts, shouting out numbers for each man the camera focuses on.  Allow me to HEAVILY paraphrase the conversation.  “oh ,that guys a 5.”  “him over there, I’d say a 10.”  “10? Him?”  “yeah, he’s AT LEAST TEN INCHES.”  “what, we’re measuring dick size?” “yeah, what else would we be talking about?”

The Missy "Rain" Suit meets that Drake song I never really heard.

 This is the charm of “Broad City”, which I’ve described to people as “’Workaholics’ meets a show where people actually have sex” to anyone who would listen.  It follow two 20 something women through New York City as they engage in work, parties, errands and shenanigans, with their success rate for each activity usually being on the minus side.  They want to be lazy and successful all at once, and do everything they can to get in the way of their own achievements.

EpiPen Hulk.

Originally created as a series of webisodes, the show debuted on the bottom of the hour after workaholics, and stuck a similar chord with me, the kind of aimless wandering/ self importance/ irrational confidence that is your 20’s.  The series opens with the principles, Abbi and Illana, skyping via laptop.  What Abbi doesn’t realize is that Illana is going full cowgirl on her sometimes boyfriend (they’re talking, and it’s understood they aren’t exclusive) while playing Lil’ Wayne’s “A Milli” on her laptop.  Illana’s free spirit juxtaposed with Abbi’s constant worrying creates most of the show’s good moments, even though Abbi tends to loosen up every now and again, usually to her own detriment.

Hannibal Burress - Skype GAWD.

 The season finale that recently aired is a celebration of Abbi’s birthday.  She pulls out the one nice dress she owns, and Illana wears a revealing halter top/ skirt combo to the fanciest restaurant they can think of.  They request the table they heard Jay and Beyonce sat at on a previous night, Illana forces her own shellfish allergy to surface, and Abby accidentally stabs herself with Illana’s EpiPen, invoking superhuman reflexes.  All while the other patrons watch in shock.  Also, Abbi pees out a condom.  That’s been inside of her for FOUR days.  Laughs all around.

They woke up like this.

 They have sex, to varying degrees of success, they sit in the park and smoke weed, and where Abbi struggles with relationships, Illana seems to have a never ending string of successful hookups.  But the payoff to the show is that the defeats are funny, and even the victories are small, few and far between.  Although a bit fantastic, Broad City is a fresh take on the comedy genre, and is a great companion to the stoner/slacker romp that is “Workaholics”. 

"Broad City" airs Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30 CT on Comedy Central.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Trailer

It looks... I'm gonna see this.  I actually want to go and see this.

Reactions from the other contributors-

Aaron McGruder's statement on his involvment with the 4th Season of "The Boondocks", and his future endeavors.

A very heartfelt read.  Also - people are going to be PISSED about Black Jesus.  I mean PISSED.  I love it.
 

Post by The Boondocks.

Question - is this your Thot?

2 Chainz posed this question to Cap-1 after a young lady made her way to the green room after a recent show.  I'm a huge fan of "The Office", so cringe-worthy, look away from the TV comedy is kind of my thing.  You may have to turn your head once or twice...



And I guess after someone showed her the video, she decided to... man I don't even know.  This happened:

For the record, so you know it's real.

Civil.  Lawsuit.  For making fun you?  Word?  Good Luck.

Race Records and Race Relations - Trying to Explain the Texas Relays

In 2008, I saw Leo Manzano run a sub -4 minute mile.  3 minutes, 57 seconds (3:56.98 to be exact).  It was amazing, from the crowd, to the announcer somehow giving a play by play of a guy running in a circle, the history of the old record he was on pace to break, and the roar of the crowd as he crossed the finish line.  It was a great moment to celebrate success with total strangers.  We all knew we had seen something special.

The Texas GOAT.

In 2004, I took a Hispanic Lady friend downtown, and ran a sub -4.6 40 (Cameron Jr. was fastlsummbitch) in the opposite directions on gunshots that rang out of the most popular street associated with one of the most famous Universities in the world.  This is the duality of the Texas Relays - it's a celebration of some of the greatest athletes in the world that doubles as a weekend where a heavy dose of the wrong element occupies a normally (not always, but normally) safe environment.

The Texas Relays was birthed in 1925 as a response to the Kansas Relays (IT WAS TOO DAMN COLD IN KANSAS) and has grown into the second largest track meet in America, behind the Penn Relays.  The top athletes from the high school, college and pro level compete in front of a packed stadium for records and yearly bragging rights.  I've seen Maurice Green Run.  Live. In Person.  GREATNESS!  Even my old high school pal (IN ALL THAT DAMN PURPLE) went out there and burned up the track, so the Relays are a great mix of nostalgia, as well as seeing the future of Track and Field all compete together.

2009 LSU Women's Mile Relay Team - BURNERS!

Now, take a second to consult the Google.  Type in "Texas relays" then choose the images tab. Better yet, I'll do it for you. "Party, Slab, 6th St., Cars."  WHA?  What does any of that have to do with a track meet?  Monetarily, plenty.  It's estimated that the city brings in an additional 8 million dollars in that individual weekend, mostly due to events geared towards young African Americans.  Like these:

I would kinda like to hear a new Big Pic Verse...

Griff, Chykie, Chris  and Curtis... not a bad secondary...

Other than DJ Grip... I don't know any of these people...

I'd say avoid this one...

Damnit James, you fight to well to be nicknamed "Mandingo"!!!

This is where things change.  People, not just white people, but people that aren't for large young (like can't get into a bar, but don't want to pay a cover to get into a club) crowds of people in the street to be in the street, aren't for being shouted at and cat called by said people, and aren't looking for a fight for accidentally bumping into someone in the street. What street? this one -

That's a lot of people.

Bars shut down for the weekend.  Bars that I frequent WITH BY BLACK FRIENDS, THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN TURNED AWAY FROM board up the damn windows!  To say race doesn't play any issue in would be a damn lie, but there's actual evidence to suggest that 1) your regular patrons won't show 2) you won't necessarily generate new business unless you throw a specific type of party and 3)  THEY SHOOTIN'!

So the dedicated out-of-towners for Texas Relays weekend bring a mix of excitement, entertainment and well, fear to a city used to a certain style and pace.  There's no shame in not participating in the events ,especially the ones that happen after dark.  But well - the silver lining? YouTube videos like this:



See y'all at Myers Stadium! Maybe...

People really, really like people that look like Danny Mcbride

Had no idea folks were so into Kenny f'in Powers. HBO continues to have these good problems.  And I haven't peeped "True Detective" yet.  So leave me be. And this is a universal FB post, so even if we aren't FB friends, you can view the comments my clicking on the box in the pic.

Post by Cameron Hawkins.

Not Familiar with the character?  Do some reading here.

The Exploits of an Angry Internet Wrestling Fan

I've been a fan of pro wrestling for as long as I can remember.  My dad, my uncles, and my Grandpa all watched wrestling, and we'd cal leach other on the phone weekly to discuss the goings on of the squared circle.  As i got older, my interest grew, to the point where I attend the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania, annually now (THANKS FAE) and try to watch wrestling in some form a few times a week every week.  With the rise of these internets (yes, nets, plural) message boards and websites dedicated to talking about, covering and dissecting pro wrestling sprung up, to the point that talking about it became a lucrative business for places like The Wrestling Observer and Pro Wrestling Torch that report on the goings on of the wrestling biz 24/7.  These sites each have message boards, where paying members can talk amongst themselves about their favorite characters, best matches, and what they feel they can improve on.  And, for the most part, everyone can think of something they want to improve.

Sir, we were far too angry to think this through.

Wrestling being unique, in that it's a television show you can direclty interact with, it tends to attract a certain element.  Without going into all the aspects of such a person, I'll provide a sort of anecdote - the man they call 'sarge'.  Sarge is a nice enough guy, and by enough, i mean to my knowledge he's still alive, so he hasn't pissed anyone off too bad.  The angry black man stereotype is real, and alive in Sarge.

Artist rendering of Sarge.

On one of the call-in wrestling shows I listen to (dedication) he's a frequent caller, and he spends most of his air time complaining about John Cena and Triple H.  He's not unique in this, as these two are some of the biggest IWC (internet wrestling community) targets.  John Cena made the mistake of being a cornball, a goofball, and not going away, so he he'll have vitriol spewed his way till forever.  It's almost a shame when a guy doesn't do anything unethical or illegal and is villified, but he's stinkin rich and loves his job, so he'll be fine.  The other target is Triple H, of, as Sarge calls him "Triple-H-son-in-law" drawing attention to the (not entirely crazy) idea that one of the main reasons for Triple H's success both in the ring, and outside of it, is result of him marrying Stephanie McMahon, daughter of Vince McMahon, owner of the WWE.  Sarge very rarely calls into these shows to ask any type of question, but to complain about the state of affairs, and the two previously mentioned individuals.  It goes something like this: "guess it's time for me to do a heel turn (i'll explain) , cuz that cot dayum triple-h-son-in-law done just took over the whole show, killing everyone else's push, so he can be the focus, and everybody's afraid to step to him, and then you got John Cena over here, tellin the same jokes, doing the same moves, I can't wait till some new talent shows up cuz this is getting worse week after week after week, but until then, I'm watching (name a promotion that's internet only with a lower production value) cuz they know what they doin'!"

"So it's agreed - they hate us equally."

 It's venting.  It's admitting frustration.  But it's also being closed minded and having an agenda.  Rarely does he acknowledge the good things that happen (it's happens, but it's rare) the matches or segments he enjoys, or the things he looks forward to.  And it's bad for the community as a whole, because it limits discourse, and takes away from the posters/ callers that want more information, or really talk about what they've seen in a constructive manner.  It also gets to the point where "Sarge" becomes a persona separate from the person, as seen (heard) every time he claims he makes a "heel turn" a phased use when a "good guy character commits and act that instantly (or over time) makes them a "Bad guy" character.  Cheating on your wife and sending her the sex tape is a heel turn.  Telling kids you've never met that Santa isn't real is a heel turn.  Being an ass on a show and taking valuable time away from it is just that, being an ass.

At this point, he's so swept up in in, he gets into fights. On the internet.  With people he's never met.  In the interest of privacy, I won't post that.  But to give you an idea, he's accused people of being fags and card carrying klansman.  In the same breath.  Jokes are jokes, but him homophobic slurs and rants were so bad, he was kicked out of more than one forum, one of which I invited the guy too.  And he wouldn't apologize for his outbursts, so that ban still stand.  Including a standing "didn't see your number in the queue" suspension on A certain awesome wrestling call-in show that happens wednesdays @ 5:30 central time that I don't think will be lifted soon.

Listen - It's Good.

It's fun to talk wrestling, argue wrestling and hell, every now and a again bitch over wrestling, but when you become a gimmick in a world you aren't really a part of, the fun stops altogether.  And having such strong opinions on things you only have a modicum of knowledge about just pisses other people off.

Nick Cannon, and why you shouldn't argue with your white friends about "Whiteface"

So This Happened:

Hes tries.  He really tries.

It reminded of the comedic genius that is Nick Cannon.  The Nick Cannon we quote, talk about around the water cooler, and pay our hard earned money to see.  Yeah, that Nick Cannon.  What appears to be an attempt at an April Fool's Day joke, becomes a lot of Nick Cannon's jokes - unfunny shit that makes you scratch your head.  But this time - he actually hit on a larger issue - how people feel about whiteface, how they compare it to blackface, and the place these things have in our world.

It was funny in 2004.

 "White Chicks" is a movie I saw on a few occasions.  it was the height of the Shawn and Marlon "baby Wayans'" movement.  Two bumbling alphabet men charged with the task of babysitter two paris/nicole-esque socialites have to impersonate them in order to crack a case.  With heavy makeup/ prostethic work, the two actually take of the guises of these two women, complete with "valley girl" vernacular and hijinx.  The first instance of Black men impersonating white women I can recall. the movie was a huge hit, to the tune of 113 million dollars, and was a welcome break in the endless stream on "scary movie" titles they'd created with brother Keenan.

To everyone born after 1990 - this was a thing.

 Recently, there have been lots of people appearing in varying degrees of "blackface", and some have been surprised at the backlash.  Here's the issue - it was done specifically to belittle a culture.  Point blank.  So it's never gonna be ok.  Why?  Because slavery.  Because Jim Crow.  Because civil rights.  You can't, as a person with a knowledge of history, make excuses for blackface.

CLEVER!

 Now whiteface?  That's different, and here's why.  In the context of an outrageous, fantasy film, whiteface was passable, and at times fun (when I was 18 - i wouldn't watch that silly shit now).  Dave Chapelle's White news anchor was universally loved, because of his scathing commentary on the black community from a privileged white perspective.  Like anything, it can be in bad taste, but if the argument is  "if white people can't do it, black people shouldn't" instead of "I'm offended by this", then it's not an argument, it's trying to downplay historical context.  Don't, don't DON'T talk to anyone over 30 about race, if your goal is to sway them about race, cuz it ain't gonna happen.  Opinions don't change after your 20's.  If you have any social media presence, and you were logged in anywhere during the George Zimmerman trial, chances are you saw your friends, that you've known for years and years, say some crazy shit you wren't prepared for.  And they didn't all of a sudden develop those feelings, it's whats been going on in their heads for as long as they can remember, and the best thing you can do is either agree to disagree, of find some new friends.

The funniest guy in the pic.

But if there's one thing you should all agree on, it's this - Nick Cannon sucks.

The Rock goes all demigod in "Hercules: The Thracian Wars"

 That Nemean Lion should've known his role and shut his mouth.

A Conversation about Fried Chicken (Yup, we go there!)

 Myself, and 3 of my gainfully employed, college educated African American friends talk chicken.  Yeah.  Straight like that.

Post by Cameron Hawkins.

Click here to view the entire discussion.  Slightly above average savagery

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2nd Trailer)

It's a war.  Now, then, and after that.  It's a war.

Weekend Tunes - Tony Castles: Black Girls in Dresses

First - There are no Black Girls in dresses in the video treatment for the song "Black Girls in Dresses".  The song still jams though.  I imagine this is what it's like to party in your 30's.  Below the treatment is how I found out about the song.  There may have been A LITTLE savagery involved.

Word to my OldHead Travis Bryant.

When Mercer beats Duke, this Happens...

Nae Nae indeed.

Let's Talk WrestleMania 30 - Part 2 (and Dave Batista has just enough Cardio to Smash your Girl)

Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (Winner advances to the WWE World Heavyweight Title Match)

Boy do I loathe the character that is Triple H.  I wish he'd stay off of my television now until forever.  I wish there was a way I could've been forced to give my seat away during his last few mania matches to show, concretely, I don't care about, or want to see Triple H.  He's slow, plodding, and deliberate in the ring, and on top of that... he's old now.  It's hard when a guy you never really liked gets worse.  And on the mircophone, he's the cool guy, the smart guy, the guy that always gets the last word.  Again, I want him away from my television now and forever.

Aside from that, he's once again attached himself the the "hot new thing" in WWE.  A few years ago it was CM Punk, who he defeated in a match, because Game.  From now on when I talk about something boneheaded he's done, I'll say "Because Game".  So I gathered a bunch of people (like 7) at my place for last year's summerslam PPV.  It was Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena for the title in a GREAT match that Daniel Bryan won.  Then he was pedigreed and few to Randy Orton right after the match, because Game.  Then he was screwed out of the title, called small, boring, and a "B+" superstar for months on end, because Game.  Then he was made to look like a fool time and time again, because Game.  Then Triple H refused to fight him after being challenged time and time again, because Bryan was clearly no match for him (even though he beat John Cena one on one, no shennanigans for the title before) and it would be beneath him, because Game.

So Triple H finally gives in and is going to face Daniel Bryan, one on one, at Mania.  I'm looking forward to the match because Daniel Bryan is a wrestling machine.  He flies around ,hits hard, and people are into his every move.  Triple H gets that, so he's latches on to the hot guy, and is going to force me to watch him look really really tough, get really really winded, and have a "Great match" depsite the other guy having the car, the keys, the gas and somehow got all green lights...

... no need to pick a winner here, as the end game is for Daniel Bryan to be plugged into the title match to face the ever so bland Randy Orton, and Dave Batista.  Why?  Because Randy Orton has been playing second fiddle to Triple H, and Batista came back and hugged the on screen villain couple, because Game.  It also didn't hurt that people decided in their minds Daniel Bryan would enter, and win the Royal Rumble, neither of these things happened, and Batista, the, ahem, "movie star" type they'd been trained to hate, walked in off the street and won the thing.  Batista has been the opposite of Bryan in some fan's eyes, even though i'm all for it - he's the `old guy that has the build, style, and paper stacks to do young guy shit, like wear skinny jeans and WRESTLE IN JORDAN XX8's!!! 

But his ring work has left plenty to be desired, so throwing another guy, that happens to be the best they've got right now, into the match is a great idea.  I expect Orton and Bryan to do most of the work, but for Batista to get some cool power spots in.  Even if he won't give you a five star classic, he'll show he's got enough energy to, well... history's shown us he can get the job done.  Hi Milena! My Pick - Daniel Bryan, capping off one of the strangest 2 year paths to stardom I can recall.

Let's Talk Wrestlemania 30 - Part 1

I've never been to New Orleans.  I've always hated to travel.  Why? Cuz traveling sucks.  New Orleans probably doesn't suck.  Ricky Williams played there.  Gumbo comes from there.  Gambit's from there.  Lil' Wayne used to be from there.  But finally (FINALLY) I'm traveling to New Orleans.  What's the occasion?  WRESTLEMANIA 30.  The showcase of the demigods (the only immortal I count there now is Undertaker - more on him later) and me and the other half's annual vacation.  This year, there are some really good matchups, and I want to take a bit of time to talk about what's been announced so far.

The "Andre the Giant" Memorial Battle Royal - cuz how else will JTG get his payday???  I'm fine with this, not hype, not de-hype, just fine.  With such a large talent roster, this is a clever way to get the most people on the card, while giving the "over the top rope match" a fresh feel, a new prize, and presumeable bragging rights for at the very least the next few months.  My pick - either Big E the social network GAWD or Antonio Cesaro, strongest man that looks like Jason Statham.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt - First of all, if you chant "Husky Harris" at this point, it's just because you're an asshole.  The IRS son with the IRS genetics is already a power player in the "E", with his great look, haunting promos and, well, his "The Army Tank with a Ferrari Engine" grace and fluidity.  He's one of the two new guys I have to watch every time he's on screen (Roman Reigns... Roman Reigns) and he already commands the attention of the crowd with every word.  He's the chief villain not in the main event picture right now, so naturally, he's facing John Cena.  John Cena.... boy... i'm not a fan.  His ring work is good, his matches, always good... but he's the corniest cornball of them all.  He's not funny, he's grating.  When he talks, he's either doing his pee wee herman thing, or his "down for my n*gg*s" thing, and on the odd occasion that he cuts a good serious promo, people give him some kind of pass for his next 4-5 months of cornballing it up.  The premise of the match is that Cena's a damn fraud.  Greatness.  But again, in the ring the guy's been money, so i expect this match to be really, really good.  My Pick - Cena, looking to bounce back from that injury that derailed his victory lap he started a year ago.

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker - Remember that time Brock was a young up and comer managed by Paul Heyman and Undertaker was wearing bandanas and calling himself "big evil"??? That was f***ing awesome! a decade later, one guy had his stomach blown the hell up in UFC and was brought back to kick ass and lay down, and the other performs once a year, on the year to great acclaim.  I still have flashbacks (and YouTube history) of 300 lb Lesnar performing shooting star presses. That ain't happenin at Mania. It's going to be two guys kicking the crap out of each other, that'll hopefully A) keep Brock Lesnar strong as a "special event" talent and B) keep Undertaker alive enough to compete at next year's Wrestlemania as a "special event talent".  I'm of the belief that Lesnar should have won EVERY MATCH since he came back two years ago if this was the endgame.  My pick - the guy who's won all his mania matches prior to this one.


I'll talk about the other match(es), and my undying love for a certain cerebral assassin,in part 2

That Time Uncle Ruckus Found Out He Was Black...

Let's all get reacquainted with "The Boondocks" before it returns to Adult Swim on 4/21/14.

A (Small) Bit about a Bully, A Prom, and the Black vs. Mexican War.

I can remember getting picked on by a kid once.  I was in the 7th grade, and I lived down the street fro ma kid named Colin.  Colin was much taller than me, and if I remember right, I was probably 5'4 and under 90 lbs.  Soaking wet.  With work boots on.  One day, after riding the bus home, i was walking down my street, and Colin, who lived a street over, started following me and pushing me in me back.  he pushed me the entire way home, but for the life of me, I can't remember what he was saying.  I lean toward it being something racial, because he proudly displayed a confederate flag on his faux letter jacket.  So I ran in the house, and told my step dad what had happened, and 10 minutes later, we walked down to his house, my dad had a conversation with his dad, and from that day this now, I've never had a problem with Colin.  I'm not sure what was said, but it clearly made a strong impression.  Outside of that instance, I can't think of a time I thought I was being bullied.  And from the first time i saw "Carrie"

I knew I'd leave people the fuck alone, cuz i'm not going up in flames.  It just never made sense to me, "picking" on people. But that doesn't make me "superkid" or anything... my mom is still looking for my 8th grade report card (tossed that shit in the trash after hiding it for months, cuz if she found it, i'd accept the punishment).  So I come across this story about the little boy with the "My Little Pony" backpack getting picked on, beaten up, and called out his name, and I feel for him.  I was never victim to, or a party to, the gang mentality of seeing a different kid and attacking him from all angles.  From 7th grade till graduation, I was to high school in San Antonio, TX, and while I can think of instances kids were hounded, it wasn't prevalent to the point that kids left schools, or kids were suspended, or parents came up to the school.  We just weren't wired that way.  You never heard about "jocks picking on nerds" or "popular kids ganging up on losers" because it didn't happen.  There was that whole "Black vs. Mexican" War, but that was niggas being niggas, nigga standing in for "jackass of any ethnicity or gender".

Grayson Bruce decided to rock his MLP backpack, and was harrassed for it being "girly".  Ya know.... My little Pony is girly as hell.  Girly to the point that if I saw a kid right now with a My Little Pony backpack, I'd think "THAT SHIT IS GIRLY!"  If my son wanted the same strap... I don't know if i'd buy it.  But if i did, I'd let him know that kids will have opinions, so he may have to deal with criticism.  But criticism aside, if anyone touches him over his personal taste, he have every right to touch them back.  And if you aren't comfortable with that... Your Dad can have a talk with any other kid's Dad. Fro mthe Looks of it, people are showing their support for the little guy.

Have an opinion on The plight of Grayson Bruce, or bullying in general? we can talk about it here and here.  Thanks.