Fan X Fan Show: Spring Break #3 (Wrestlemania Edition)

* Originally posted 4/13/16*

It's still spring break for the Fan X's, as our beloved Flash decided he needed a bit more time in the oven.  Luckily, we get to tell you about our super exciting weekend in Dallas for Wrestlemania!  We take you through our parallel trips to meet up, the journey that was the Dallas road trip, our fantastic meetup at the Kung Fu Saloon, and of course, the epic tailgate leading to the big event.  It wasn't all sweet, and Trav tells you about his often stalled journey home, I fall down in hallways and steal footballs but get away with it because I'm so gosh darn handsome, and I let you know about a very special pair of $300 sunglasses.  We also take a bit of time to talk THE AUDACITY OF A BATMAN V. SUPERMAN EXTENDED CUT, Suicide Squad re-shoots, Desiigner having a single that charted higher than any Future single, and why your feedback helps keep the show going.  All this and more on this week's Fan X Fan Show!

Fan X Fan Show: 'The Flash' 217 - "Flash Back"

Time travel makes our heads hurt!  On this week's episode, Barry thinks he's found the way to move on par with Zoom and the Reverse Flash, and of course it involves mucking up time as we know it! We revisit the Season 1 episode "The Sound and the Fury" and things get out of hand way sooner than they should have!  We talk track coaches, sports science, The Michael J. Fox vehicle "The Frighteners", and really, really good looking CGI.  Barry violates the rule of leaving his phone unlocked, Wally finally does something useful, and we tell you all a bit about our upcoming weekend in Dallas on this week's Fan X Fan Show!!!

 

Fan X Fan Show: Spring Break #2

Brownface.  Blockbusters.  Bad rappers.  This week's Fan X Fan show went every which way, the majority of the time spent covering the first 7 episodes of the DCTVU's "Legends of Tomorrow".  Last week's episode went into the motivations of each character, but this week, we go blow for blow with our time traveling supers.  We talk similarities to "Star Trek", "Star Wars", "Sliders" and "Quantum Leap", as well as where we think the show may be headed for it's 2nd half (thanks Wikipedia!)  Travis, woke than a mug this week, explains to be why new rapper Desiigner may very well be the "Dab-churian Candidate" (copyrighted) and goes over all the wrong steps taken that lead to Zoe Saldana being the titular character in the Nina Simone Biopic.  I complain about all the fun I'm going to have next week for the SXSW music festival in my very best Kane/Drake tone.  We have ANOTHER 5 star Itunes review (so damn cool), and tell you about our awesome friend that's designed a FANTASTIC t-shirt for us for Wrestlemania weekend.  And remember... If Young Metro don't trust you...

Fan X Fan Show: 'The Flash' 215 - "King Shark"

First off - I CALLED IT!  I told you who Zoom was, suck it America!!!  In all seriousness, our heroes recover from  the Earth-2 Fallout, dealing with death and loss in their own ways.  We finally get some progression in the budding Barry/Wally Rivalry, Caitlyn gets frosty, and Arrow's John Diggle shows up with his wife to give wise Black Man advice.  Also, lots and lots of "Jaws" references, and we find out there won't be another FLASH 'Fan X Fan' for a month!  We preview a busy week in wrestling for Trav's 'East Coast Cast' and explain to you guys again why your reviews are so valuable.  All this and more of this week's Fan X Fan Show!!!

Fan X Fan Show: 'The Flash' 213 - "Welcome to Earth-2"

OH MY GOD THE MULTIVERSE IS AMAZING!!!  Team Flash has a plan to track stop Zoom once and for all, and that path is littered with the best easter eggs ever.  We're talking Kryptonian Women, Super Friends on speed dial, jewelry from Future Legions, AND A FLASH OF TV'S PAST!!!  Too much of a description would kill the vibe (see what I did there) so to avoid spoilers, I'll leave the rest inside the episode.  Trav and I also talk the goings on of the Superbowl, and why you shouldn't take Junior to go see 'Deadpool' this weekend.  And if you're a pro wrestling buff, we talk about THAT OTHER show we do weekly!  Enjoy!

Fan X Fan Show - CW's "The Flash" (Season 2, Episode 10)

BACK LIKE WE NEVER LEFT!  In our first new episode of the year, "The Flash" is in for a few changes.  Relationships change, dynamics change, and we face maybe the most twisted villain so far!  We pretend to know actual science as we debate the credibility of "The Turtle's" power.  Turtle Power.  T-U-R-T-L-E POWER!  Couldn't fight it, sorry.  I may have convinced Trav to use his status as the "Prominent Black (Beige) Voice in Pro Wrestling"  to take part in a cool event, and hopefully he helps us get a bunch of money for just running our mouths.  I'll tell you how time travel is stupid outside of a few instances, and how even if your mother is a crackhead that ruins your family, it's still your father's fault. All this and a few sappy ass quotes on this week's Fan X Fan! And wait - REVERSE FLASH BYKE?!?!?!?

Lone Survivor - Who Will Win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Tournament?

Seth Rollins' leg essentially fell off (how he still slammed Kane is beyond me) so now WWE has booked a tournament to crown a new champion.  Here's why each participant will win (and lose) the tournament for the WWE World Heavyweight title.

Roman Reigns

"This one's for one and all, it's so good to feel all y'all..."

Why he'll win:  He's the chosen one

Why he'll lose:  This makes it look like he's the chosen one

Roman Reigns was on the fast track to superstardom... until folks realized it.  He's a product of being the "it" guy during the "yes" movement.  He's taken awhile to get his promos and in ring work to a point that the crowd doesn't try to derail him.  Has put on some really good matches, and you can't say enough about him and Brock at Wrestlemania earlier this year.  But you feel a reaction brewing:  "he only got the title because Rollins was hurt!" making him a kind of lame duck champ.  He may very well win, but for his sake, lets hope it's reserved for the Royal Rumble or Wrestlemania against an already established champion.


Big Show

hits everything but the right note

Why he'll win:  He's the largest athlete on the planet

Why he'll lose:  He hasn't been an athlete since 1998

Big Show's the definition of washed.  He's a good guy, works hard... his time has just passed.  He's against Roman in the first round to make Roman look strong.  Because picking up the Big Show is a big deal.  Or was... for Cena's first US title win in 2004.


Cesaro

When you should be world champion, but your boss thinks the world is Cali to NYC

Why he'll win:  He's probably the best athlete they have

Why he'll lose:  He's foreign, but NOT THAT FOREIGN

Cesaro is strong, explosive, captivates the crowd, keeps his nose clean... he's what you'd want in a champion.  Too bad for him he's Antonio Cesaro and not Anthony Cesar, from New York.  Vince McMahon isn't behind him, so no matter how good the matches are, he's pigeonholed.


Sheamus

"Listen Fella... I'm really, REALLY trying!"

Why he'll win:  He's got a title match in the pipeline

Why he'll lose:  He's got a title match in the pipeline

Bad haircut, bad gimmick, indifferent crowd aside... it defeats the purpose of having the MITB briefcase if he already has the title.  So nah.


Alberto Del Rio

What Graddad thought was coming when they called Riley the N word in school

Why he'll win: They've invested a ton of money into him

Why he'll lose: That was hush money, not "let's build" money

Del Rio returned to clean Cena the hell up so he could go on vacation.  He left because he had to slap the shit out of a staffer that said some slick race stuff to him.  But apparently the WWE folks talk so crazy, they gave Del Rio money to keep it on the hush.  It would just be too much too soon.  Unless it wasn't.  He's carried the title, and been a decent to good champion before, and his in ring stuff has only gotten better over time.  So... it's possible.


Stardust

How creeps asked "where my hug at?" in 1984

Why he'll win:  He's a supervillain

Why he'll lose:  He lost to a superhero, The Arrow, who didn't even use arrows to beat him

My man crush on Cody Rhodes has been over for a while.  Great talker, made to talk like a crazy person.  Great wrestler, made to wrestle in a crazy jumpsuit.  His time was 2013, and it's 2015.  So maybe one day... but not this day.  Or year.  damn.


Kalisto

Hidden character in 'MK X1 - Luchality'

Why he'll win:  He can fly

Why he'll lost:  He's a guy in a mask not named Oscar or Glenn.

Kalisto is gonna look really good getting tossed around by Ryback in this opening match.  That's all I got.


Ryback

"feed... me... to a bigger name!"

Why he'll win:  He's really strong

Why he'll lose:  Dassit

Ryback's injuries, and failure to catch on when he's not barking at the crowd, seem to have relegated him to the midcard permanently.  He's going to hit some strong power moves in this opening round, but i can't see him getting past Del Rio.


Titus O'Neil

".. we all know what it is."

Why he'll win:  He's worth million of dollars

Why he'll lose:  Those are Toys R' Us Geoffrey Dollars

Titus is probably the most authentic ambassador WWE has outside of Cena.  He's eager to talk to kids, teens, college athletes, and is a good spokesman for the joys of fatherhood.  You just wish he'd started in the ring ten years earlier.  He's in his late 30's still working out the kinks.  Maybe one day, but no time soon.


Kevin Owens

"you just gonna eat all the drums & leave me with the flats?"

Why he'll win:  He's the best healthy main roster performer

Why he'll lose:  He's too "healthy" for the body fetish front office

Owens could legit win this.  He's great in the ring, maybe better on the mic, and owns his character.  The only thing would be his physique, and if they'd go against the norm of the body builder look they typically require of their top top guys.  Honestly, I'd love to see him as champion.


Neville

"See him, over there?  he's got a better shot!"

Why he'll win:  He's the man that gravity forgot...

Why he'll lost:  ... but whoever hands out height did not

Talented, amazing to watch, great build... he's just not very tall.  Even smaller champions like HBK were tall enough to stand face to face with their challengers.  A culture change would give him more country, but not for the time being.


Wade Barrett

confidently walking to the midcard abyss

Why he'll win:  He's a damn king

Why he'll lose:  His kingdom is the pre-show

WADE BARRETT SHOULD HAVE BEATEN CENA AT TLC WAY BACK AND WHEN CENA DROPPED THOSE CHAIRS ON HIM IT WAS LIKE DROPPING ALL HIS DAMN HOPES AND DREAMS AND WHY AM I TYPING SO LOUD?


Dolph Ziggler

when you stay late and find out the next day they cut OT

Why he'll win:  He's great in the ring for years

Why he'll lose:  and it's gotten him 1.5 title reigns

It's just not in the cards man.  Truthfully, there's another guy in the same tourney he just started feuding with, and that's still got to play out.  So nah.


The Miz

"so... you're saying there's a chance"

Why he'll win:  Nah

Why he'll lost:  Because

The Miz has found a nice spot in WWE where he's playing himself, and gets to be on TV all the time.  We're just a long way from Wrestlemania 27.  So... yeah.


Dean Ambrose

the face of a man that... well, he looks unhappy

Why he'll win:  He's the top babyface not named Roman Reigns

Why he'll lose:  He's the top babyface not named Roman Reigns

The only way Dean gets the title is if he turns, or Roman turns.  While possible, Dean JUST gave Reigns his blessing to go after the title, and a change of heart this soon, even with the injury, seems crazy.  But... I'm not saying it won't happen.


Tyler Breeze

when you netflix and chill, by yourself, in public

Why he'll win:  He's the latest call up and that would be a way to put even more eyes on NXT

Why he'll lose:  It's the absolute longest possible shot ever.

I like the kid, his gimmick, his matches.  It would just devalue everyone else that's longer tenured, and in most cases, better in the ring and more over.



Who I think will win:  Kevin Owens

Who I want to win:  Cesaro

Who doesn't have a shot in hell:  Show, Sheamus, Stardust, Kalisto, Neville, Miz, Breeze

Just (Gorilla) Press Play - South Kongress Wrestlemania 31 Preview (Part 2)

Where the Big Boys Play button.

Just (Gorilla) Press Play - South Kongress Wrestlemania 31 Preview (Part 2) can be found here.

Icon vs. Guy who's wrestled a long time - Sting vs. Triple H

I have two buddies that try to tell me how great Sting is, like I didn't see Sting matches in the 1990s.  The best work Sting ever did was standing in the rafters and pointing his bat at the nWo.  Which isn't a shot - that shit was fire.  But some would have you believe Sting's last match was against Ric Flair in 2001 on the final Nitro.  Not so fast yo.  Sting was half stepping in TNA collecting big checks all through my adult life.  And Triple H - he's cool.  His in ring work since Wrestlemania 28 has been good to great just about any time out.  So what if i can't stand the guy on my television?  They've had 6 months plus to plan this match out, and both are protective over their legacies/ portrayals, so I think this match will be a welcome surprise.  And well... Sting HAS to win, right?  Triple H is over big footing guys he shouldn't, right? RIGHT?  Who the hell knows.  I'll roll with the special attraction, and not the guy I'll be changing the channel on for the foreseeable future.   Also, for you two, 50 and Josh... Sting isn't trash.  Often.  Winner - Sting

This Happened.  LOOK! LOOK! IT DID!

Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title - Daniel Bryan v. Stardust v. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler v. Dean Ambrose v. Luke Harper v. Wade Barrett (c)

It's been ten years since the first "Money in the Bank" ladder match.  The day I declared "SHELTON BENJAMIN IS THE FUTURE!!!" and was proven very, very wrong.  When you have a billion guys on the roster, and you don't want to downgrade all of them, this is what happens.  For reference, I've been on the Cody Rhodes bandwagon since Legacy, even before.  I've written words on words about just how great Daniel Bryan is.  Ambrose has a great upside as long as he isn't fighting in the gimmick of the week match against Bray Wyatt.  R-Truth, for all the, uh... acting... he does, gets credit for maintaining excellent physical condition, and maintaining a damn job all these years.  Luke Harper was hot toward the end of the Wyatt family run, has an amazing look, and looks like he can WIN A DAMN FIGHT.  Ziggler is a victim of his own bravado, but deserves more than he's been given, and Barret?  The champ?  HE AND THE NEXUS SHOULD HAVE BEATEN JOHN CENA BACK IN THE DAY AND I STILL FEEL A WAY ABOUT THAT BULLSH... sorry, got in my feelings a bit there.  For reasons I'll detail a bit later, I see Bryan winning this match, and returning a certain level of prestige to the IC Strap.  I think Stardust and Ziggler will have the standout performances though.  Winner - Daniel Bryan

There aren't enough flame emojis for the 'Dust Alternate uni.

Singles Match for the United States Title - John Cena v. Rusev (c) w/ Lana

I haven't been this excited for a John Cena match in 3 full years (when the Rock rightfully whooped that ass in Miami) and I'm genuinely hyped for this.  Rusev is great.  He's tough, he can move, his kicks look like they hurt, his promos seem genuine, he's imposing, even his "Russian Nationalist" gimmick seems believable because the disdain with which he speaks about America... he's not out there telling any old lie!  He's coming from a place of truth, just real enough to piss people off.  He hasn't been running through the competition like Goldberg's streak, but he takes the very best shots from his opponents, survives it, and finds ways to win.  He's just great to watch.  Lana, also, doesn't hurt the cause.  She's a great mouthpiece for him, with her tone, and inflections, and oh so tiny business suits.  John Cena is - what do you even have to say?  He puts on great performances in big matches.  His promos leading up to this have been serious in tone, WHICH IS ALL WE'VE EVER ASKED THE GUY TO DO!  The first match they had was just excellent, so I feel they'll go above and beyond here to give the people a show.  Cena kicks off his "award tour" by regaining the first singles title he put on his mantle, minus the played out spinner gimmick.  Winner - John Cena

America is trash, this is my lady, I'll mess you up.  Cool?

Now, I'm predicting both Bryan and Cena to win their matches, and titles, largely because of my main event prediction.  WWE is going to transition those titles from afterthoughts to the big deals, because of this...

May see this again, REAL soon...

Singles Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title - Roman Reigns v. Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman

Man, I see an ass kicking on the horizon.  I mean a shellacking.  Roman Reigns is going to catch the biggest fade of anyone ever.  I'm saying this, and I LIKE Roman Reigns.  Other than his trash ass promos, I like him in the ring.  I've gotten over the idea that a guy needs 50 moves to be great.  Just Look at Lesnar.  He hit John Cena with the same move 14 times at Summerslam, and no one with a shred of credibility complained!  Even if die-hard fans were more behind Reigns, Brock Lesnar is simply at the peak of his powers.  I never took issue with him showing up part time.  I watch Boxing.  I watch MMA.  I watch seasonal sports.  Seasonal shows.  There's something to be said for having to wait to see things.  Netflix binging is great,  but the anticipation that comes from delayed satisfaction... there's no replacing that.  So now that Brock has signed up for 3 more years, if he only shows up 12 times a year, I have no problem there, and I'm sure I'll enjoy each and every time.  My prediction is that Reigns is booed out the building, defeated handily, and Brock leaves Wrestlemania the best part time champ you could ask for.  The IC and US titles become big deals, with the roster chasing Cena/ Bryan, and those titles headlining the house shows/ TV events other than the ones Brock appears on.   Top to bottom, it's a pretty good card, and this year sure looks like a win for the WWE.  Winner - Brock Lesnar

The One Writing about the One in Twenty One and One - The South Kongress Summerslam Preview

 (a few things... this card would be better with the Usos on it... and I'm in that bad habit of listing the Champion before the Challenger, so sorry...)

Someone must've made a racially insensitive joke...

Brock Lesnar lives at the intersection of talent and clarity.  Dubbed in the early 2000's as WWE's next big thing, Lesnar was everything Vince McMahon could want - he was large, he was athletic, he looked like he could mess you up... and he really could, if he wanted to.  Former NCAA wrestling champion, his in ring skill would later translate to real fight success.  He deserves credit for not only making the transition to UFC, but putting new eyes on the sport.  Fast forward to 2012. Diverticulitis, or what I refer to as "the chronic bubble-guts", all but forced him out of the Octagon.  But now, he's more than just a former WWE champion - he rightfully holds the distinction as one of the toughest men in the entire world.  So when WWE comes calling, Brock says CUT THE DAMN CHECK, and they oblige.  He works for limited dates at a nice premium, because A) he can and B) he was never really a fan of the constant travel, or backstage politics that are tolerated by most wrestlers.  He made it far enough to be able to set his own rules, and that should be applauded.

WWE, for lack of a better term, is a cult.  The "WWE Universe" is a fancy way of saying "We want you to feel like we're all family, so you buy stuff."  Which is perfectly fine.  But when John Cena, poster boy for the company, was feuding with The Rock, who recently starred in a really cool movie, the crux of everything was that Cena was "always here", would "never leave" and always did what was best for the fans.  I say this as someone who spends his hard earned money (and my lady friend's hard earned money) on a Wrestlemania trip every year - FUCK THE FANS YO.  If your job, where you work, gave you these options -

1) make 100k/yr for working 52 weeks a year

2) make 100k/yr working 26 weeks a year

Which one would you take?  If you say 1, you either hate your family or have no friends.  Why would you work more for the same amount you can earn for working less?  But the WWE wants you to think that John Cena shows up to work every week out of the goodness of his heart.  He may very well love his job, but if they cut his pay in half, I guarantee that smile wouldn't be as wide.  I say more power to anyone that has leverage at their job.  Jobs aren't here to see you do well.  They want YOU to produce FOR THEM, and if you come out the other side better for it, then they're cool with it.  So when John Cena spews that "for the fans" rhetoric, then I see all those cars in his driveway, I pray for the day everyone else comes around.  Now, on to the matches.

Yup... for the love.  ONLY for the love.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins, Lumberjack Match

One of the best scenes from 'Belly' is where Bundy is high out of his mind at dinner with the two young thundercats that came up underneath him.  He challenges them to show who the man really is, which leads to one killing the other.  Morbid, I know.  Well Ambrose and Rollins are the closest things we have to "on the cusp" guys going at it on the big stage, much like these two at Summerslam back in '98.  No doubt the quality of the match will be good, even if some of the buildup has been pretty goofy.  I'll go with Rollins here, and the poor stipulation attached it just set up to backfire.  I would've preferred a cage match... but I always prefer a cage match.  Winner - Seth Rollins

The Miz (champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental Title Match

Miz returned a few weeks back with some of that old dickhead charisma we loved so much.  Dolph is back in the role of hyper athletic babyface that's just SO CLOSE to breaking through.  I expect this to be really fun to watch.  I think Dolph gets the job done, and maybe even gets a shot at the big title in the next few months to... create movement... for the next champion.  Winner - Dolph Ziggler

AJ Lee (champion) vs. Paige, Divas Title Match

I've made no secret that I think the Trish Stratus/ Mickie James Wrestlemania 22 match was one spot away from being a classic, so I'm here for athletic women's wrestling.  I'm beating a dead horse here, but PORN EXISTS, SO I GET NOTHING FROM NON ATHLETIC, SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN WRESTLING POORLY.  But these two can really, really go.  I don't see any reason they can't continue this feud through the end of the year, so I think a very competitive match with the champion retaining will lead to another really good match at Night of Champions.  Winner - AJ Lee

SEE? WRESTLING!!!

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev, Flag Match

I'm not as down on Rusev as others are, and Lana... even though eye candy in the ring doesn't do much for me, mean women in business suits do, so seeing her is always a bonus.  Swagger's turn, I'm ok with it.  I like Rusev's power moves, I like Swagger's offense, this should be ok.  Still don't know if Swagger's the guy to put Rusev in his place though.  Winner - Rusev

Mother. ##@^#*$.  Russia.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho keeps on saving us.  He may wrestle, and at a high level, for the rest of forever.  He's Old Manitoba River.  This time around, he's here to help Bray Wyatt along, much in the way Cena did (NO SHADE, NO SHADE, I WON'T THROW IT) a few months back.  With the stipulation being The Wyatt Family is barred from ringside, I still expect Bray to get the job done.  He's poised to be one of the top heels around over the next few years, and soundly beating an institution like Y2J will solidify that spot for him.  I expect a very good match.  Winner - Bray Wyatt

Old reliable.  Old, athletic, entertaining, awesome reliable.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

I've seen 'Scarface' more times than I can count.  Do you want to know the best way to watch 'Scarface'?  cut the movie off right when Tony gets the tiger.  Just stop it there.  You'll have a smile on your face the rest of the day.  Why see it all fall apart if you don't have to?  I wish someone would've given this angle the 'Scarface Lite' treatment a few weeks back.  It devolved into something very TNA-esque, and that really sapped all my interest from it.  Also - Stephanie McMahon is way better than she was a year ago.  I could still go the rest on my life never seeing her on my television and being happier because of it.  As far as match quality, she looks like she's taking her training pretty seriously, at least from an aesthetic standpoint, and both Bella's have come along in their ring progress.  Could be ok.  Winner - eh...

.... AAAAAND CUT!

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Aside from his first title win, or that Wrestlemania where they chose the wrong final match for the show, I think this is the biggest match of Randy Orton's career.  There's no doubt it's the biggest for Roman Reigns.  But as far as Orton goes, I think it's safe to say he's as big as he's ever going to get.  Whether it was the force that is John Cena, whether is was the time he took a shit in that lady's bag, whether it was suspensions, whatever, Randy Orton hopefully will be able to say he made it through wrestling with his health and his money, even if he isn't a household name (and to be fair, he's still one of the biggest names in the last decade). So now he's at that point where it's on him to make the next generation look good, to well, not pass the torch, but to accept he's not running that first corner, or the anchor, on that 4 x1 team.  Roman Reigns has some things really going for him.  One, my girlfriend won't stop looking at the guy.  He's got a great look, a great pedigree, charisma, and the people respond to him.  He may also be a bit overexposed.  His offense doesn't match his athleticism at this point.  His moveset is LJN, not AKI just yet.  Monday, I thought his intonations really took away from the tough image they want him to have.  All that said, I'm along for the ride with this guy.  Hopefully, a talent like Orton can use this opportunity to help him get to that next level.  I'm hoping we get a very physical, hard fought, CLOSE match up.  Winner - Roman Reigns

Fae's about to start swooning right now, and she O.E.N.O it.

John Cena (champion) vs. Brock Lesnar - WWE World Heavyweight Title Match

Just because John Cena is the Cornball Gawd doesn't mean I don't enjoy his matches.  He's a talent, he's a master at pacing, he gets the most out of his opponents.  He voluntarily took the ass whooping of a lifetime at Extreme Rules 2012.  That took guts.  I don't expect this to be the same beatdown, and I don't expect the same results.  Brock is coming in with his 'Here Comes the Pain' physique or ratings, but I fully expect him to pull out a few old tricks in the vein of suplexes and holds he hasn't really used since his return.  Cena will probably get to toss Brock around some as well.  This won't be that Summerslam '02 when a young Brock sent a seasoned Rock packing I don't think. But I do expect Cena to be a bloody mess, for Lesnar to win the title, and for Paul Heyman to talk the hottest shit this side of a Damon Dash YouTube video.  Also, I'm gonna troll you Josh.  You know who you are.  Get ready to be trolled!!!! TROLLED!!!!!!!!!! Winner - Brock Lesnar

 

 

 

I expect this, but for the low price of $9.99!

 

 

 

  WWE Summerslam is this Sunday at 8pm ET. on the WWE Network.

If That's It, Thanks for Everything - Thoughts on the WWE Career of Daniel Bryan

When they put "indefinitely" next to your name, it's almost always a bad thing.  Typically, you think suspensions, meaning that ass may never be back.  So when I heard Daniel Bryan was out "indefinitely", a myriad of emotions came over me.  There was fear, there was sadness, then there was relief.  I don't know which one is going to hold on the longest for me, let alone what he's thinking, but it's all at once scary, heart wrenching, and well, kind of ok.

The Apex.

 Bryan Danielson was one of the last of the "indy darlings", a guy that made a name for himself outside of one of the large, nationally televised wrestling promotions.  Trained by WWE Legend Shawn Michaels (San Antonio stand up)  he was a guy that was under 6 feet tall, less than 220 pounds.  We all know guys of that same build in real life that can hold their own in a fight, but wrestling promoters were always trying to make stars out of the guys that "turn heads at airports."  Danielson wowed crowds with hard hitting moves and submission holds, to where his size was a n afterthought during and after his matches.  He could also talk a good game, never boring or stale.  HE was someone you could make money off of.

OG "American Dragon" ROH days.

A few years back, he signed a deal with WWE, in an effort to make some real money before his career was over.  He was on the inaugural season of "NXT", a quasi-reality show where new wrestlers would compete in matches and competitions in front of the same crowds the main roster was up against.  Made to lose match after match, Daniel Bryan (his "new name") still stood out for his athleticism, regardless of the lines Michael Cole was fed to make him look unimpressive.  Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, of MTV fame, notably asked "what have you ever done?" time and time again, since all of Bryan's notoriety had been built outside of the WWE.  William Regal boldly stated that Bryan was "better" than Miz, which didn't seem to be the story they were pushing.

That about sums up NXT.

After the NXT experience, the competitors on that show were dubbed "The Nexus", a kind of "New Blood meets NWO" stable for those that suffered through the late stages of WCW.  They famously kicked the crap out of John Cena, CM Punk, and whoever else was at ringside.  Bryan was actually fired for choking out a ring announcer with his own tie.  In a world of scripted violence, this was deemed to harsh an act.  He was shortly brought back into the WWE mix, and put on some very good matches in the middle of the card.

Justin Roberts auditioning for Gyp in 'Boardwalk Empire'.

In the summer of 2011, he won a "Money in the Bank" contract, which gives the winner a title match at the time of his choosing.  He exercised this option later in the year to pin an already downed Big Show, and became World Heavyweight Champion.  Much in the vein of Rey Mysterio years earlier, he wasn't booked to win his matches outright, but by hook, crook, or disqualification,  he had been expanding his character, becoming increasing frustrated with the fan base, and chanting "NO!" at every turn.  It caught on, and more and more people would chant along with him.  This is around the same time my fantastic girlfriend got me the birthday gift of a lifetime - Tickets to Wrestlemania 28 in Miami, FL.  I was going to get to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wrestle for the first time ever, and Daniel Bryan would also be defending his Wold Heavyweight Championship against Sheamus.

Daniel Bryan lost the match in 12 seconds.  12.  1-2.

It was shocking, and frustrating, to the point the crowd flooded the arena with boos.  The Wrestlemania crowd is different, in that they want the best PERFORMERS TO BE ABLE TO PERFORM.  They saw this as a real slight to a hard worker, and the next night, made it clear to WWE this wouldn't be accepted.  At Monday Night Raw, the following night, we were in unison with the other spectators chanting "YES!" or "NO!" depending on the situation, and when Bryan came out for his match, the entire place was into his every move, word, hell, breath, as we voiced our total support for him.  This would continue on, sometimes a murmur, other times full on cult like chants, depending on the venue.



Over the next two years, Bryan's matches got better, his mic work got better, and his fan base expanded.  Memorable matches with CM Punk, his comedic skits with Kane, all did more to solidify him a player in the big leagues, regardless of his size and perceived "it" factor.  At Summerslam 2013, Daniel Bryan beat an ailing John Cena for the WWE Title in a fantastic match.  I had friends over, and we all watched the match intently, hoping to see the underdog come out on top, and we were all jumping and high-fiving at the matches conclusion.  The moment was short lived, as the same "money in the bank" stipulation Bryan rode to his first title was used against him.  Randy Orton, with a huge assist from COO Triple H, beat Bryan for the title.  Over the next few months, we were treated to (terrible, boring, pointless) skits about why Bryan wasn't a fit champion.  It was his hair, his beard, his height, his weight, and how he would never be more than a "B+ player" (a play of a term used against Triple H years back).

Honeymooners meets Scooby and Scrappy.

 What we did still get were fantastic matches from him.  Whether it was going against Orton, The Shield, or The Wyatt family, it was the same in your face, hard hitting style fans had grown accustomed to.  At the 2014 Royal Rumble (where we had one of our super fun Rumble night contests) Bryan lost a really good match to cult leader Bray Wyatt.  People expected him to participate in the actual Rumble match, but he never showed.  This caused even more outrage, as the match considered most important (outside of 'mania) by most didn't have one of the biggest starts in the company.  This set the wheels in motion for Bryan to finally face Triple H one on one at Wrestlemania, for the chance to participate in the WWE World Heavyweight Title match later that night.  Bryan and Triple H had a GREAT match that Bryan ultimately won, and he would go on to defeat Randy Orton and Batista later that night to earn the title.  It was great being there live, as it was the culmination of the last two years, going from disrespect to the ultimate accolade.



It's hard to say exactly when Daniel Bryan hurt his neck.  Whether it was prior to Mania, or after, he wrestled Kane at the following pay per view, then was "injured" shortly after.  He underwent neck surgery, and was expected to be out no more than two months.  Between Mania and surgery, he had married his girlfriend, WWE Diva Brie Bella, and lost his father.  The gamut of emotions had definitely been ran, followed by maybe the biggest career obstacle he had faced.  At the June "Money in the Bank" pay per view, he came out and announced that he may need an additional surgery, which gave people plenty of reason to doubt when he'd be back.  Over the last few days, it was reported he'd be written out of story lines as no return date had been set.

Good Times.

You never want to see someone good at their job forced out.  It goes against the principles of hard word.  The guy does whatever he can to defy the odds, makes it to the very top, then can't continue.  You feel for him.  Then you think of the Chris Benoits and Eddie Guerreros of the world, guy who, if you could control it, would have walked away well before tragedy struck.  Who knows, he may be back later this year as good as ever.  But then you look at guys like Edge, who was forced out due to injury, but is stable, seems happy, and is going to be able to tell his children about the great things he did.  All in all, if we never get to see Daniel Bryan in the ring again, his story is one to appreciate, his matches are to be studied and applauded, and his path, hard as it was, is hopefully one people will follow.

Bonus - Top TWENTY Moves of Bryan Danielson - 



DOUBLE Bonus - Stunt Granny Audio #262 - Kevin and Shahid talk D. Bry's injury.

Wale - 'Razor Freestlye (Bad Guy)'

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know I'm a huge wrestling fan.  If you know me, you know that Scott Hall is my favorite wrestler of all time.  So when you get someone rapping over Hall's "Razor Ramon" persona entrance theme, you get a post, form me telling you just how great it is.  Special thanks to +Kazeem Famuyide (@reallifekaz)  for making the whole #wrasslerap movement happen. For those unfamiliar - SAY HELLO TO THE BAD GUY!
 

My Wrestlemania 30 Videos

I was fortunate enough to attend Wrestlemania 30 this year, and I've uploaded most of the videos I took at the event to YouTube.  Some may have failed to upload due to copyright issues.  I'll post the most popular ones here, and place a link to my page below.  Enjoy!

Bray Wyatt's Entance


Stone Cold Steve Austin's Entance


The Rock's Entrance


All of my Wrestlemania 30 Videos can be found here.

The Exploits of an Angry Internet Wrestling Fan

I've been a fan of pro wrestling for as long as I can remember.  My dad, my uncles, and my Grandpa all watched wrestling, and we'd cal leach other on the phone weekly to discuss the goings on of the squared circle.  As i got older, my interest grew, to the point where I attend the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania, annually now (THANKS FAE) and try to watch wrestling in some form a few times a week every week.  With the rise of these internets (yes, nets, plural) message boards and websites dedicated to talking about, covering and dissecting pro wrestling sprung up, to the point that talking about it became a lucrative business for places like The Wrestling Observer and Pro Wrestling Torch that report on the goings on of the wrestling biz 24/7.  These sites each have message boards, where paying members can talk amongst themselves about their favorite characters, best matches, and what they feel they can improve on.  And, for the most part, everyone can think of something they want to improve.

Sir, we were far too angry to think this through.

Wrestling being unique, in that it's a television show you can direclty interact with, it tends to attract a certain element.  Without going into all the aspects of such a person, I'll provide a sort of anecdote - the man they call 'sarge'.  Sarge is a nice enough guy, and by enough, i mean to my knowledge he's still alive, so he hasn't pissed anyone off too bad.  The angry black man stereotype is real, and alive in Sarge.

Artist rendering of Sarge.

On one of the call-in wrestling shows I listen to (dedication) he's a frequent caller, and he spends most of his air time complaining about John Cena and Triple H.  He's not unique in this, as these two are some of the biggest IWC (internet wrestling community) targets.  John Cena made the mistake of being a cornball, a goofball, and not going away, so he he'll have vitriol spewed his way till forever.  It's almost a shame when a guy doesn't do anything unethical or illegal and is villified, but he's stinkin rich and loves his job, so he'll be fine.  The other target is Triple H, of, as Sarge calls him "Triple-H-son-in-law" drawing attention to the (not entirely crazy) idea that one of the main reasons for Triple H's success both in the ring, and outside of it, is result of him marrying Stephanie McMahon, daughter of Vince McMahon, owner of the WWE.  Sarge very rarely calls into these shows to ask any type of question, but to complain about the state of affairs, and the two previously mentioned individuals.  It goes something like this: "guess it's time for me to do a heel turn (i'll explain) , cuz that cot dayum triple-h-son-in-law done just took over the whole show, killing everyone else's push, so he can be the focus, and everybody's afraid to step to him, and then you got John Cena over here, tellin the same jokes, doing the same moves, I can't wait till some new talent shows up cuz this is getting worse week after week after week, but until then, I'm watching (name a promotion that's internet only with a lower production value) cuz they know what they doin'!"

"So it's agreed - they hate us equally."

 It's venting.  It's admitting frustration.  But it's also being closed minded and having an agenda.  Rarely does he acknowledge the good things that happen (it's happens, but it's rare) the matches or segments he enjoys, or the things he looks forward to.  And it's bad for the community as a whole, because it limits discourse, and takes away from the posters/ callers that want more information, or really talk about what they've seen in a constructive manner.  It also gets to the point where "Sarge" becomes a persona separate from the person, as seen (heard) every time he claims he makes a "heel turn" a phased use when a "good guy character commits and act that instantly (or over time) makes them a "Bad guy" character.  Cheating on your wife and sending her the sex tape is a heel turn.  Telling kids you've never met that Santa isn't real is a heel turn.  Being an ass on a show and taking valuable time away from it is just that, being an ass.

At this point, he's so swept up in in, he gets into fights. On the internet.  With people he's never met.  In the interest of privacy, I won't post that.  But to give you an idea, he's accused people of being fags and card carrying klansman.  In the same breath.  Jokes are jokes, but him homophobic slurs and rants were so bad, he was kicked out of more than one forum, one of which I invited the guy too.  And he wouldn't apologize for his outbursts, so that ban still stand.  Including a standing "didn't see your number in the queue" suspension on A certain awesome wrestling call-in show that happens wednesdays @ 5:30 central time that I don't think will be lifted soon.

Listen - It's Good.

It's fun to talk wrestling, argue wrestling and hell, every now and a again bitch over wrestling, but when you become a gimmick in a world you aren't really a part of, the fun stops altogether.  And having such strong opinions on things you only have a modicum of knowledge about just pisses other people off.

The Rock goes all demigod in "Hercules: The Thracian Wars"

 That Nemean Lion should've known his role and shut his mouth.

Let's Talk WrestleMania 30 - Part 2 (and Dave Batista has just enough Cardio to Smash your Girl)

Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H (Winner advances to the WWE World Heavyweight Title Match)

Boy do I loathe the character that is Triple H.  I wish he'd stay off of my television now until forever.  I wish there was a way I could've been forced to give my seat away during his last few mania matches to show, concretely, I don't care about, or want to see Triple H.  He's slow, plodding, and deliberate in the ring, and on top of that... he's old now.  It's hard when a guy you never really liked gets worse.  And on the mircophone, he's the cool guy, the smart guy, the guy that always gets the last word.  Again, I want him away from my television now and forever.

Aside from that, he's once again attached himself the the "hot new thing" in WWE.  A few years ago it was CM Punk, who he defeated in a match, because Game.  From now on when I talk about something boneheaded he's done, I'll say "Because Game".  So I gathered a bunch of people (like 7) at my place for last year's summerslam PPV.  It was Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena for the title in a GREAT match that Daniel Bryan won.  Then he was pedigreed and few to Randy Orton right after the match, because Game.  Then he was screwed out of the title, called small, boring, and a "B+" superstar for months on end, because Game.  Then he was made to look like a fool time and time again, because Game.  Then Triple H refused to fight him after being challenged time and time again, because Bryan was clearly no match for him (even though he beat John Cena one on one, no shennanigans for the title before) and it would be beneath him, because Game.

So Triple H finally gives in and is going to face Daniel Bryan, one on one, at Mania.  I'm looking forward to the match because Daniel Bryan is a wrestling machine.  He flies around ,hits hard, and people are into his every move.  Triple H gets that, so he's latches on to the hot guy, and is going to force me to watch him look really really tough, get really really winded, and have a "Great match" depsite the other guy having the car, the keys, the gas and somehow got all green lights...

... no need to pick a winner here, as the end game is for Daniel Bryan to be plugged into the title match to face the ever so bland Randy Orton, and Dave Batista.  Why?  Because Randy Orton has been playing second fiddle to Triple H, and Batista came back and hugged the on screen villain couple, because Game.  It also didn't hurt that people decided in their minds Daniel Bryan would enter, and win the Royal Rumble, neither of these things happened, and Batista, the, ahem, "movie star" type they'd been trained to hate, walked in off the street and won the thing.  Batista has been the opposite of Bryan in some fan's eyes, even though i'm all for it - he's the `old guy that has the build, style, and paper stacks to do young guy shit, like wear skinny jeans and WRESTLE IN JORDAN XX8's!!! 

But his ring work has left plenty to be desired, so throwing another guy, that happens to be the best they've got right now, into the match is a great idea.  I expect Orton and Bryan to do most of the work, but for Batista to get some cool power spots in.  Even if he won't give you a five star classic, he'll show he's got enough energy to, well... history's shown us he can get the job done.  Hi Milena! My Pick - Daniel Bryan, capping off one of the strangest 2 year paths to stardom I can recall.

Let's Talk Wrestlemania 30 - Part 1

I've never been to New Orleans.  I've always hated to travel.  Why? Cuz traveling sucks.  New Orleans probably doesn't suck.  Ricky Williams played there.  Gumbo comes from there.  Gambit's from there.  Lil' Wayne used to be from there.  But finally (FINALLY) I'm traveling to New Orleans.  What's the occasion?  WRESTLEMANIA 30.  The showcase of the demigods (the only immortal I count there now is Undertaker - more on him later) and me and the other half's annual vacation.  This year, there are some really good matchups, and I want to take a bit of time to talk about what's been announced so far.

The "Andre the Giant" Memorial Battle Royal - cuz how else will JTG get his payday???  I'm fine with this, not hype, not de-hype, just fine.  With such a large talent roster, this is a clever way to get the most people on the card, while giving the "over the top rope match" a fresh feel, a new prize, and presumeable bragging rights for at the very least the next few months.  My pick - either Big E the social network GAWD or Antonio Cesaro, strongest man that looks like Jason Statham.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt - First of all, if you chant "Husky Harris" at this point, it's just because you're an asshole.  The IRS son with the IRS genetics is already a power player in the "E", with his great look, haunting promos and, well, his "The Army Tank with a Ferrari Engine" grace and fluidity.  He's one of the two new guys I have to watch every time he's on screen (Roman Reigns... Roman Reigns) and he already commands the attention of the crowd with every word.  He's the chief villain not in the main event picture right now, so naturally, he's facing John Cena.  John Cena.... boy... i'm not a fan.  His ring work is good, his matches, always good... but he's the corniest cornball of them all.  He's not funny, he's grating.  When he talks, he's either doing his pee wee herman thing, or his "down for my n*gg*s" thing, and on the odd occasion that he cuts a good serious promo, people give him some kind of pass for his next 4-5 months of cornballing it up.  The premise of the match is that Cena's a damn fraud.  Greatness.  But again, in the ring the guy's been money, so i expect this match to be really, really good.  My Pick - Cena, looking to bounce back from that injury that derailed his victory lap he started a year ago.

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker - Remember that time Brock was a young up and comer managed by Paul Heyman and Undertaker was wearing bandanas and calling himself "big evil"??? That was f***ing awesome! a decade later, one guy had his stomach blown the hell up in UFC and was brought back to kick ass and lay down, and the other performs once a year, on the year to great acclaim.  I still have flashbacks (and YouTube history) of 300 lb Lesnar performing shooting star presses. That ain't happenin at Mania. It's going to be two guys kicking the crap out of each other, that'll hopefully A) keep Brock Lesnar strong as a "special event" talent and B) keep Undertaker alive enough to compete at next year's Wrestlemania as a "special event talent".  I'm of the belief that Lesnar should have won EVERY MATCH since he came back two years ago if this was the endgame.  My pick - the guy who's won all his mania matches prior to this one.


I'll talk about the other match(es), and my undying love for a certain cerebral assassin,in part 2