Fan X Fan Show: 'The Flash' 213 - "Welcome to Earth-2"

OH MY GOD THE MULTIVERSE IS AMAZING!!!  Team Flash has a plan to track stop Zoom once and for all, and that path is littered with the best easter eggs ever.  We're talking Kryptonian Women, Super Friends on speed dial, jewelry from Future Legions, AND A FLASH OF TV'S PAST!!!  Too much of a description would kill the vibe (see what I did there) so to avoid spoilers, I'll leave the rest inside the episode.  Trav and I also talk the goings on of the Superbowl, and why you shouldn't take Junior to go see 'Deadpool' this weekend.  And if you're a pro wrestling buff, we talk about THAT OTHER show we do weekly!  Enjoy!

What a Job - The Athletes We Love, and the Things They Owe Us.

Rumble young men rumble.

"Everybody Hates Chris" is one of my favorite shows ever.  Although it dealt heavily in hyperbole, the message of family togetherness, surviving struggle, and the will to be understood were something we could all understand.  The titular character's relationship with his Father was my favorite part of the show.  Julius, portrayed by an ALWAYS IN LONG SLEEVES SO YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW BIG HE WAS Terry Crews was a hardworking, no nonsense character that stressed the value doing what you were paid to do to the very best of your ability.  To Julius, there was no such thing as "on time".  You were either early, or you were late.  Great words to live by.  In 1988, Chris Rock's actual father Julius died from ulcer surgery.  I'm no doctor, but I know ulcers are typically brought on by stress, so there's that.

Yeah... those jumpsuits were necessary.

We live in a world where we have unparalleled access to our favorite actors, entertainers and athletes.  I can send a tweet to hulk hogan RIGHT NOW (but I'm not gonna, brother) or tell Michael Jordan how great he is on Facebook (is Michael Jordan on Facebook?)  if I so desire.  But just because I have that ability doesn't change the relationship.  I'm still a customer, and they are still trying to sell me something.  We aren't friends, aren't pals, aren't all of a sudden part of the same UNIVERSE.  The rules are a bit different, but the game is the same - These people are here to give me something, until they aren't.  Then they aren't.

Some type of way...

People have the feels for LeBron James like no one else.  He brings out REAL emotion in them.  Best basketball player on earth, perhaps the very best athlete to ever bounce a ball.  He's been famous since high school, commands more media attention that anyone else, and his every move is over analyzed and heavily criticized.  We know the narrative - kid from northeast Ohio, gets drafted by his local team, gets that ass whooped year in and year out, holds a TV special saying he's out the door, fans burn jerseys.  I'm not from Cleveland, and have never been there.  I'm spoiled - I grew up supporting a storied football franchise as well as the picture of modern success basketball franchise.  But I wasn't pissed when Champ Bailey was traded for Clinton Portis.  I didn't lose my cool when Tim Duncan was looking into playing in Orlando.  AND I DIDN'T FLIP OUT WHEN MY ALL TIME FAVORITE POINT GUARD WASN'T ACQUIRED!  You know why?  Because these are jobs.  No one that I don't work for owes it to me to work at a certain place, especially if they have a better deal on the table someone.  ESPECIALLY if working somewhere else will make them happier.  Disappointment is one thing, but we would all leave our jobs if another job was more fulfilling.  Or paid more money.  It's the American way!  Need proof of that?  The same people that were out BURNING JERSEYS are writing letters, making videos, and doing everything they can to make the King's homecoming as royal as possible. Fandom is a series of temporary emotions, like a relationship with a jerk that buy lots of presents.  Presents are the best "I'm sorry"s ever invented.

Stay woke.

The one thing that makes people more angry than there favorite athlete switching teams is their favorite athlete quitting.  And that's a bit more tangible.  If you're like me, you can't just up and quit your job.  You have to show up, day after day, take shit, and then repeat the process time and time again.  Even if you're great with your money, you haven't saved up enough to just walk away, unless you have something else waiting in the wings.  I need to get my wings right.  Anyway, when your favorite star walks off a show, or the field, or from the wrestling ring, it's difficult to understand how they could do such a thing.  At least on the surface.

Yesterday, I wrote about Daniel Bryan, perennial underdog, his rise to the top of the WWE and his current fight to resume his career.  In many ways, his ascension mirrored that of CM Punk, RETIRED professional wrestler.  CM Punk was anti-superstar, a guy with a natural body, poor disposition, and the self confidence to voice his opinions when things weren't going the way he deemed appropriate.  If Daniel Bryan's rise was meteoric, Punk's was that slow burn, a series of starts and stops that ultimately culminated with an Indian style sit down, a Steve Austin T Shirt, and a Pipe Bomb.  From that day forth, Punk was a major player,  engaging in feuds with the very top talents, and having the longest title reign basically since I've been a real boy.  But things change, focus changes, and things you can't account for occur.  Other people get popular.  Not everyone is your biggest fan.  Your body gets worn down.  You see people around you struggle.  These are all things that happen at our jobs, but typically on a much smaller scale.

Gotta love it.

So you have a guy that doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink, and doesn't buy gaudy gifts.  But makes LOTS OF MONEY.  When you only bad habit is women, and you find a way to get through that habit with no kids and all your body parts in tact, you've won at the game of life.  WWE has maintained a hold on many a wrestler because of the money they needed to make up for the money they lost.  Not this guy.  He's set financially, and at the point where he knows his best physical days are behind him.  Much like LeBron, Punk has legions of fans that just want him on their team.  I've been a fan for years and years.  I've seen the guy in person at two Wrestlemanias.  But when I heard he wasn't going to be there, I didn't hold it against him.  If our companies paid us on the scale they pay him, then the politics of that company didn't augur with what we desired, wouldn't we walk away too?  I can't sacrifice my well being for anyone I'm not feeding IF I'm not happy doing it anymore.  A smile and a thank you just isn't worth my body.  Celebrity is a responsibility, but sacrificing oneself isn't a requirement if it isn't in you anymore.

So... y'all mad?

I can't fault a fan for cheering a guy on, and getting emotionally invested in them.  But you have to take some things from a personal standpoint, and understand that same desire to be great at their crafts influences their willingness to do what's best for THEMSELVES.  All we can really ask is for greatness WHILE WE HAVE THEM. Anything else would just be unrealistic.

Bonus: Devin the Dude x Snoop Dogg x Andre 3000 - What a Job

Shane Falco, Aunt Jemima, and the San Francisco Chinamen: A Few Words from a Lifelong Washington Redskins Fan.

I grew up in the great state of Texas, specifically San Antonio (HOME OF THESE GUYS). I moved there when I was 11, and my immediate family still lives there. But I'm originally from Camp Springs, Md, which is located just outside of Washington, DC. For this reason, and a few others, I've been a lifelong Washington Redskins fan. I was enamored with the guys in old lady dresses and pig snouts, loved singing the fight song with my mom, and was always amazed at how damn fast Darrell Green was! The Redskins were an institution, a way of life, a gold standard. As a kid, I never really thought about the name, but I also didn't think about the absurdity of the name 'Indians' either, because I was a kid. So yesterday, various sources reported that the Washington Redskins trademark would not be renewed, due to a strong political movement hoping to force a name change for the franchise. As a near 30 year old man who has never even considered an allegiance to another pro football team... I really have no problem with it. AT ALL.

But no see, this is cool, cuz it's like... but see...

I've heard very, very strong opinions on the subject. "Why now?" seems to be the prevailing opinion. People are ranting about the new found sensitivity on America, how we seem to cower and concede whenever someone deems something offensive. In this case, my response is "ok, so?". There is nothing so damn important about the Redskins name that it can't be changed to something less derogatory. It's not as if player salaries drop, it's not that you won't be able to buy new team gear, hell, it's not like you won't be able to wear your old gear! But what's so wrong about adjusting? It's really similar to reparations. Now, I'm in no way saying the name of a sports team holds a candle to slavery, it's reach or it's ramifications. What I'm saying is, one of the major problems people have with reparations is that in admitting wrongdoing, you worry about opening up the floodgates to having to PAY WHAT YOU MAY ACTUALLY OWE. People don't want to feel responsible for past wrongdoing, and want you to act as if everyone started with equal footing. Any acknowledgement that that idea is silly puts people in a position to have to come up with solutions, and they'd rather just ignore valid complaints. Nothing new here, but it's the prevailing truth in America.

DC FOOTBALL LEGEND BRUH.

As a supporter of a franchise that's only had FLASHES of success since the mid nineties (like these guys, only more honest about it) I for one am ok with a name change. What have the Redskins been since like '95? Average? Below average? This isn't the Pittsburgh Steelers or New England Patriots calling audible, it's a franchise with more losing seasons than 10 win seasons since i was a kid. I love the football team representative of the DC/Maryland/Virginia Area (DMV for those in the know)regardless of their name. Shane Falco? Big fan of that guy. Also the Art Monks and the Mark Rypiens, Even the Michael Westbrooks and Stephen Davis's, right on down to the RGIII's and the Brian Orakpos (hook 'em) on the team. I'm not tied to any name that people may rightfully deem offensive. Wouldn't affect my fandom in the slightest.

Where the 'was anyone offended?' argument goes the hell out the window.

Politicians from all over the country all of a sudden made this their focus, this being the great cause they chose to champion. It'll be interesting to see if people grill them on other things they may deem wrong, and if they fight so vehemently against those things. Am i going to have to switch to log cabin, because well, that damn Aunt Jemima looks like a mamm... nevermind. In the meantime, hail to the Re... whatever. Fight for all DC!

2014 NFL Mock Draft - Power Rangers Edition

With the NFL Draft looming, and teams hoping that adding a few pieces will help them find success, let's go the top ten of the first round using a group of young , athletic, hungry talents - The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

1)  The Houston Texas select... Jason Lee Scott, QB, Red Ranger

I know, I know, how could they pass on Tommy?  Here's how - this is a team that already has an established identity.  JJ Watt is the face of this franchise, and rightfully so.  He's menacing, he's athletic, he's charitable.  They don't need someone to step in and take charge of the team.  Ask any real Texans fan - they didn't want Matt Schaub to go out and throw for 600 yards a game - they wanted him to go out there, not mess up, and never be intimidated.  That's Jason.  Remember when he went to Goldar's dimension WITH NO MORPHER and fought dude for Tommy's candle?  Intangibles man.  The Texans need a guy that that knows where he fits in, and has no trouble deferring to teammates if need be.

2)  The St. Louis Rams select... Rocky Cardenas, WR, Red Ranger

When the Rams took Tavon Austin in the 1st Round last year, it was a no brainer.  Speed guy with great hands and the ability to make plays in space.  But without a strong compliment on the outside you limit what you can get out of your slot.  Rocky replaced Jason as the Red Ranger in Season 2, and while while a practitioner of martial arts, he was probably the most physically active outside of training, the kind or guy the Rams will need to spread the field.



3)  The Jacksonville Jaguars select... Thomas "Tommy" Oliver, QB, White Ranger

It's not always about "Best available", but for the Jaguars, it is.  Outside of Lil' Duval, nobody wants anything to do with this team.  We don't watch them on TV.  We don't go to their games.  Nike was probably able to come up with that awesomely terrible outfit because no one would care.  They need a face for that team, they need someone that will put butts in the seats, and will attract free agents.  They need the GOAT Power Ranger, Tommy Oliver.  Now, there are some risks here.  Very troubled past, to the point that he was started off vandalizing his rival school's property, getting into numerous altercations with them, most notably destroying their modes of transportation.  But he quickly matured, to the point that he was named team captain and starter within what seemed like months.  He had the complete trust of the coach, and managed to maintain his focus with plenty of outside distractions looming.  If the Jags hope to turn things around, he is the route they have to go.

4)  The Cleveland Browns select... Zack Taylor, QB, Black Ranger

The Browns take Zack over any Red Ranger from "Power Rangers in Space" on, because their offensive line is THE HOTTEST OF GARBAGE.  They'll need a guy to make plays with his feet till they find they put a solid group around him, and all of his "hip hop kido" training will be put to the test. His skill set diverse, his agility and speed are elite. The hardest thing will be avoiding turnovers.  He's shows a propensity to fumble (all those times he couldn't quite ask Angela out)  But when he's been asked to step up from his backup role, he's undefeated.  Not a single loss under his watch.


5)  The Oakland Raiders select... Trini Kwan, WR, Yellow Ranger

Big Target.  Good Hands.  No Ego.  The perfect fit for a team that really, really needs to find a new identity.  This isn't to say she doesn't have a mean streak - you don't get the nickname "sabre tooth tiger" for being a pushover.  For all the things Matt Schaub wasn't, he could get the ball to Andre Johnson and let him make plays.  This tandem should be no different.  She doesn't have the strongest release from the press, but her route running is unparalleled, drawing comparisons to a young Keyshawn Johnson. This is a can't miss prospect.

6)  The Atlanta Falcons select... Katherine "Kat" Hilliard, OLB, Pink Ranger

 
Kat's the pick here, because of her versatility.  Not a pure pass rusher, not strictly run stopper, she's a hybrid that could rush from the 4-3, or drop back in a 3-4 if necessary.  Just look at the tape: she has shown the ability to actually alter her anatomy to get behind the o-line and into the backfield.  Also, you want to see an open field tackle.  SHE CAPTURED THE FALCON ZORD.  Still undersized, and raw, she made the plays against the biggest opponents.  ATL has to go with "The Cat" here.


7)  The Tampa Bay Buccaneers select...  Aisha Campbell, OT, Yellow Ranger

She's selfless.  Isn't concerned with who gets the credit, totally focused on the team task.  Is a big fan of smaller creatures, a nurturer, a caretaker.  This is why Aisha is the first lineman taken in the draft.  She doesn't have to play dirty in order to get results.  Comes fro ma solid upbringing, so solid that a necklace her grandmother made for her fought off one of Rita's hate spells.  Mental toughness won't be an issue here.  Focus has been a bit of a concern, with questions about shopping sprees and interest in the music business being aspirations.  But, on the field, she's a rock, completely reliable and willing to contribute at any spot on the line. 

8)  The Minnesota Vikings select... Billy Cranston, QB, Blue Ranger

 
They tried Josh Freeman.  Big, physical Josh Freeman, and he washed out.  All the guys they went through, including Christian Ponder, were athletes of the highest regard.  Sometimes, you just need a guy would can line up, analyze the defense, sit in the pocket and get the ball out.  This is Cranston.  A quiet kid, but always in his playbook, always practicing, always finding new ways to improve.  He's the least physically gifted QB with a first round grade, but what he lacks in speed and strength, he makes up for with accuracy and attention to detail.  Not being a natural athlete wasn't a hindrance to him, as he steadily improved his physique and cardiovascular health over time.  He's Chad Pennington without the durability issues ( last original member to leave the team).  He'd be an extension of the coach on the field (he created the damn communicators) and would work tirelessly to improve from day one.

9)  The Buffalo Bills select... Adam Park, OT, Black Ranger

 
There's something to be said for consistency.  Adam was a Mighty Morphin, Zeo, Turbo, Space, and one-off Overdrive Ranger.  No matter who was in his backfield, he was able to protect and win with him.  This is who you think of when you use the term "stalwart".  He's the rock - he's steady, surefooted, and a winner.  This is a guy you want protecting a franchise quarterback like EJ Manuel, and opening up holes for CJ Spiller.  His Shaolin background speaks volumes about his feet and balance, and as a former victim and survivor of childhood bullying, this is the guy who's gonna keep your locker room honest.

10)  The Detroit Lions select... Kimberly Ann Hart

Range.  Can get to anywhere on the field in coverage.  Rangy.  She's also long, to where she doesn't always have to play through a receiver's body, but can get up there and fight for the rock.  Check the tape - not afraid of the opponent, regardless of a perceived size mismatch.  In a few years, just like on the show, teams are going to game plan around her.  She demands the attention of the quarterback ,so much so that our projected #3 pick's worst games were all against her.  Her amateur appearance in the Pan Global Games further solidifies the athlete you'll have as the last life of defense in your secondary.