Guest Blog - ALS, Shooting Black Folks as a Year-Round Sport, and Keeping it 100.

Originally titled 'Hand me my wallet, not the bucket.'

One day I was on Facebook, looking for nonsense to mock, when I noticed a bunch of silly people dumping water on their head.  Apparently one individual wanted to make people aware of ALS aka Lou Gehrig disease, a rare yet fatal illness that affects neurons and ultimately muscle control in the body.  The ice bucket challenge basically allowed people to donate as well as nominate others to donate, while dumping ice water on their head. Beyond the inherent humor of watching grown men and women struggle with dumping water on each other, it became a successful fundraiser, leading to 24 million dollars towards ALS research. But of course since this is the internet, it’s also led to a variety of backlash, some warranted, while others being extremely hypocritical and asinine.  Now, I have many flaws, and I embrace the majority of my flaws, but one thing I tried to avoid is the blanket of hypocrisy.  There are few things that bother me more than intelligent people making stupid proclamations to prove a ridiculous point.  Here’s a few that I’ve noticed over the past week, but instead of just listing, I will explain why I avoided them.

I donated to ALS, but I didn’t dump water on my head, nor call anyone else out.  It wasn’t because of concerns of conservation of water.  I’ve heard people bring up the drought issues in the US and the world, as well as stating that dumping water on your head has nothing to do with charity.  Now, I live in a house with 4 bathrooms.  I wash clothes and run the dishwasher multiple times per week.  I’ve taken showers that lasted longer than 5 minutes.  My sprinkler system runs a total of 2 hours daily.  I wash my car.  I’ve gone to Six Flags.  All of these things use far more water than is probably necessary.  And I lose not one iota of sleep over any of these actions.  So for me to complain about the loss of the equivalent of one toilet flush is moronic.  I have no problem with water conservation, but this isn’t Dune, and I don’t see Sting running around in a rubber suit trying to save water - relax.

I didn’t dump water on my head, but it wasn’t because of what happened in Ferguson.  Wait, what?  Yes - there is a sentiment that the ice bucket challenge is not only a silly endeavor, but a tool used by the media to distract people from the serious occurrences of police brutality towards black males.  Let me put the disclaimer that I’m aware of the media using fluff stories to steer us away from important issues.  Having said that, I have to wonder at the sanity of certain individuals.  For as long as I remember, cops have been shooting at black men.  They were shooting at black men when people were debating gay marriage.  They were shooting at us when Miley Cyrus was twerking.  They shot at us while people were concerned about Gaza and Israel.  When people put the buckets down and start talking about Lebron James on the Cavs, they’ll be shooting at us.  It’s not as if Joe Blow was about to donate some money to the Ferguson fund, and then saw a video of Jennifer Aniston with a platinum bucket and changed his mind.  Those who cared will continue to care, and those who didn’t wouldn’t have given a damn in the first place.  Contrary to popular belief, it’s possible to care about multiple causes at the same time.  The media isn’t distracting me from other issues, so I won’t use that as an excuse.  It’s like any other sport - once you know the rules of the game, you can’t complain about being caught out of bounds.  As a black man, I understand at how devise and combative life can be toward us, and I can also understand the human desire to worry about your own problems.  But as a human being and a health care professional, I couldn’t picture myself clowning a cause that donates to a real disease that actually kills people, just because it doesn’t affect me directly.  If someone chooses not to participate then more power to them.  But leave the cops out of this - if they see me jogging in my neighborhood and my sneakers are the wrong color, they won’t check Bossip or TMZ to see what’s up before they decide to shoot me.  Nor will they see if its Breast Cancer Month before deciding to pull the trigger.

This isn’t to guilt someone into giving money.  Charity is about giving to something you believe in. As a human being, you have the right to give, or not to give, to whatever you choose, as long as you’re willing to deal with the consequences.  I didn’t dump water over my head because I didn’t feel like it.  It wasn’t because of water conservation, or Gaza, or the lack of a sickle cell challenge, or any other reason.  I didn’t choose to donate more because I didn’t feel like it. I made contributions to other causes.  I also purchased two soundbars and some weights for my home gym.  I went to the movies.  I even purchased some mediocre hot wings from KFC.  I have no regrets or remorse whatsoever, because I was honest with my decision.  If you don’t want to participate in the ice water challenge because you don’t care about ALS, then go right ahead.  Maybe you don’t want to get your hair wet.  Maybe you rather spend that money on the Essence Music Festival or the new Madden video game.  Perhaps you rather give in your own way without attracting attention or participating in a silly social media experiment.  The reason doesn’t matter, so long as you’re true to yourself.  But let those who choose to donate do so without mockery or scorn.  Don’t bring in any strawmen or hypocritical scenarios to defend your choice.  No need to front for Facebook - it’s 2014, and we’re better than that.

Now if you excuse me, I’m about to participate in some other silly donation challenge.  And I won’t even need to use a bucket for it. 

The One Writing about the One in Twenty One and One - The South Kongress Summerslam Preview

 (a few things... this card would be better with the Usos on it... and I'm in that bad habit of listing the Champion before the Challenger, so sorry...)

Someone must've made a racially insensitive joke...

Brock Lesnar lives at the intersection of talent and clarity.  Dubbed in the early 2000's as WWE's next big thing, Lesnar was everything Vince McMahon could want - he was large, he was athletic, he looked like he could mess you up... and he really could, if he wanted to.  Former NCAA wrestling champion, his in ring skill would later translate to real fight success.  He deserves credit for not only making the transition to UFC, but putting new eyes on the sport.  Fast forward to 2012. Diverticulitis, or what I refer to as "the chronic bubble-guts", all but forced him out of the Octagon.  But now, he's more than just a former WWE champion - he rightfully holds the distinction as one of the toughest men in the entire world.  So when WWE comes calling, Brock says CUT THE DAMN CHECK, and they oblige.  He works for limited dates at a nice premium, because A) he can and B) he was never really a fan of the constant travel, or backstage politics that are tolerated by most wrestlers.  He made it far enough to be able to set his own rules, and that should be applauded.

WWE, for lack of a better term, is a cult.  The "WWE Universe" is a fancy way of saying "We want you to feel like we're all family, so you buy stuff."  Which is perfectly fine.  But when John Cena, poster boy for the company, was feuding with The Rock, who recently starred in a really cool movie, the crux of everything was that Cena was "always here", would "never leave" and always did what was best for the fans.  I say this as someone who spends his hard earned money (and my lady friend's hard earned money) on a Wrestlemania trip every year - FUCK THE FANS YO.  If your job, where you work, gave you these options -

1) make 100k/yr for working 52 weeks a year

2) make 100k/yr working 26 weeks a year

Which one would you take?  If you say 1, you either hate your family or have no friends.  Why would you work more for the same amount you can earn for working less?  But the WWE wants you to think that John Cena shows up to work every week out of the goodness of his heart.  He may very well love his job, but if they cut his pay in half, I guarantee that smile wouldn't be as wide.  I say more power to anyone that has leverage at their job.  Jobs aren't here to see you do well.  They want YOU to produce FOR THEM, and if you come out the other side better for it, then they're cool with it.  So when John Cena spews that "for the fans" rhetoric, then I see all those cars in his driveway, I pray for the day everyone else comes around.  Now, on to the matches.

Yup... for the love.  ONLY for the love.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins, Lumberjack Match

One of the best scenes from 'Belly' is where Bundy is high out of his mind at dinner with the two young thundercats that came up underneath him.  He challenges them to show who the man really is, which leads to one killing the other.  Morbid, I know.  Well Ambrose and Rollins are the closest things we have to "on the cusp" guys going at it on the big stage, much like these two at Summerslam back in '98.  No doubt the quality of the match will be good, even if some of the buildup has been pretty goofy.  I'll go with Rollins here, and the poor stipulation attached it just set up to backfire.  I would've preferred a cage match... but I always prefer a cage match.  Winner - Seth Rollins

The Miz (champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler, Intercontinental Title Match

Miz returned a few weeks back with some of that old dickhead charisma we loved so much.  Dolph is back in the role of hyper athletic babyface that's just SO CLOSE to breaking through.  I expect this to be really fun to watch.  I think Dolph gets the job done, and maybe even gets a shot at the big title in the next few months to... create movement... for the next champion.  Winner - Dolph Ziggler

AJ Lee (champion) vs. Paige, Divas Title Match

I've made no secret that I think the Trish Stratus/ Mickie James Wrestlemania 22 match was one spot away from being a classic, so I'm here for athletic women's wrestling.  I'm beating a dead horse here, but PORN EXISTS, SO I GET NOTHING FROM NON ATHLETIC, SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN WRESTLING POORLY.  But these two can really, really go.  I don't see any reason they can't continue this feud through the end of the year, so I think a very competitive match with the champion retaining will lead to another really good match at Night of Champions.  Winner - AJ Lee

SEE? WRESTLING!!!

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev, Flag Match

I'm not as down on Rusev as others are, and Lana... even though eye candy in the ring doesn't do much for me, mean women in business suits do, so seeing her is always a bonus.  Swagger's turn, I'm ok with it.  I like Rusev's power moves, I like Swagger's offense, this should be ok.  Still don't know if Swagger's the guy to put Rusev in his place though.  Winner - Rusev

Mother. ##@^#*$.  Russia.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho keeps on saving us.  He may wrestle, and at a high level, for the rest of forever.  He's Old Manitoba River.  This time around, he's here to help Bray Wyatt along, much in the way Cena did (NO SHADE, NO SHADE, I WON'T THROW IT) a few months back.  With the stipulation being The Wyatt Family is barred from ringside, I still expect Bray to get the job done.  He's poised to be one of the top heels around over the next few years, and soundly beating an institution like Y2J will solidify that spot for him.  I expect a very good match.  Winner - Bray Wyatt

Old reliable.  Old, athletic, entertaining, awesome reliable.

Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella

I've seen 'Scarface' more times than I can count.  Do you want to know the best way to watch 'Scarface'?  cut the movie off right when Tony gets the tiger.  Just stop it there.  You'll have a smile on your face the rest of the day.  Why see it all fall apart if you don't have to?  I wish someone would've given this angle the 'Scarface Lite' treatment a few weeks back.  It devolved into something very TNA-esque, and that really sapped all my interest from it.  Also - Stephanie McMahon is way better than she was a year ago.  I could still go the rest on my life never seeing her on my television and being happier because of it.  As far as match quality, she looks like she's taking her training pretty seriously, at least from an aesthetic standpoint, and both Bella's have come along in their ring progress.  Could be ok.  Winner - eh...

.... AAAAAND CUT!

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Aside from his first title win, or that Wrestlemania where they chose the wrong final match for the show, I think this is the biggest match of Randy Orton's career.  There's no doubt it's the biggest for Roman Reigns.  But as far as Orton goes, I think it's safe to say he's as big as he's ever going to get.  Whether it was the force that is John Cena, whether is was the time he took a shit in that lady's bag, whether it was suspensions, whatever, Randy Orton hopefully will be able to say he made it through wrestling with his health and his money, even if he isn't a household name (and to be fair, he's still one of the biggest names in the last decade). So now he's at that point where it's on him to make the next generation look good, to well, not pass the torch, but to accept he's not running that first corner, or the anchor, on that 4 x1 team.  Roman Reigns has some things really going for him.  One, my girlfriend won't stop looking at the guy.  He's got a great look, a great pedigree, charisma, and the people respond to him.  He may also be a bit overexposed.  His offense doesn't match his athleticism at this point.  His moveset is LJN, not AKI just yet.  Monday, I thought his intonations really took away from the tough image they want him to have.  All that said, I'm along for the ride with this guy.  Hopefully, a talent like Orton can use this opportunity to help him get to that next level.  I'm hoping we get a very physical, hard fought, CLOSE match up.  Winner - Roman Reigns

Fae's about to start swooning right now, and she O.E.N.O it.

John Cena (champion) vs. Brock Lesnar - WWE World Heavyweight Title Match

Just because John Cena is the Cornball Gawd doesn't mean I don't enjoy his matches.  He's a talent, he's a master at pacing, he gets the most out of his opponents.  He voluntarily took the ass whooping of a lifetime at Extreme Rules 2012.  That took guts.  I don't expect this to be the same beatdown, and I don't expect the same results.  Brock is coming in with his 'Here Comes the Pain' physique or ratings, but I fully expect him to pull out a few old tricks in the vein of suplexes and holds he hasn't really used since his return.  Cena will probably get to toss Brock around some as well.  This won't be that Summerslam '02 when a young Brock sent a seasoned Rock packing I don't think. But I do expect Cena to be a bloody mess, for Lesnar to win the title, and for Paul Heyman to talk the hottest shit this side of a Damon Dash YouTube video.  Also, I'm gonna troll you Josh.  You know who you are.  Get ready to be trolled!!!! TROLLED!!!!!!!!!! Winner - Brock Lesnar

 

 

 

I expect this, but for the low price of $9.99!

 

 

 

  WWE Summerslam is this Sunday at 8pm ET. on the WWE Network.

Why 'Black Jesus' is Better than Wh... Why 'Black Jesus' is Good, and Good For You.

"Jesus was Black, Ronald Reagan was the Devil, and the government is lying about 9/11" - Huey Freeman, 'The Garden Party'

In 2012, I was living in South Austin with my girlfriend, a buddy of mine, and his girlfriend.  Things typically ran smooth - chores were done, the rent was on time, and we could agree on what to watch in the living room.  We went out together, ate together, had parties where we had over large, diverse groups.  It was what you want in your early-20's home life.

Black man in college.  To some, this may as well be a unicorn.

At least, this was the case for 3 of us.  I wouldn't call my roommate's girlfriend a bitch.  Because that's only one word, and I need sooooooo many more.  She wasn't sociable - she preferred to keep to herself, didn't really want to be included in plans, or conversation, or meals.  She was just kind of around.  Now, her circumstance, and her disposition weren't all her fault.  She was born in Mexico, and had only lived in the States for a few years.  From what I gathered, she wasn't very fond of people that weren't of Hispanic descent.  I've been accused of jumping to conclusions before, but I think I was fairly on the money here.

Like History?  Like Geography?  Well, ya see...

Once, we were all in the living room talking, and the subject of school came up.  My girlfriend is a few years younger than I am, and she was still finishing her undergrad.  We were all talking about classes we'd taken, and she asked "Cameron, you went to college?"  We all just kind of looked at each other.  I said "yeah, I graduated in 2008.  Why would you assume I didn't go to college?"  Her response was one of shock, and a little embarrassment. "Well, i knew she was in college, I just didn't know you had gone too."

"Our rent isn't cheap, and Ed and I are the only one's working.  What do you think I do when I leave here?"

"Well, I didn't think you worked at a gas station or anything..."

So that's how that living situation pretty much went.  I guess when you see Black people in life that aren't like the Black people you see on TV, it can be a bit of a shock.  So one day, I'm cruising YouTube, looking for 'The Boondocks' clips.  By this time, we'd all watched the first few seasons forwards, backwards, and any other type of way.  Well a search yielded something called 'Black Jesus' with show/strip creator Aaron McGruder's name attached.  What followed were some of the funniest skits I'd ever come across.  'Black Jesus' is a satirical play on the Bible's portrayal of the aforementioned character in the New Testament.  The "water into wine, hanging out with the dregs of society" Jesus people read about, but have trouble accepting, or emulating.  Black Jesus talks like he's from around the way.  He spends time with those that would seem to truly need his help.  He plans cookouts.  He provides liquor for parties.  He gets people out of jams that could lead to their undoing.  Crazy, right?

FINE GRAPES.

You can imagine how upset this made my roommate's girlfriend.  "This is offensive, and it's sacrilege!" she exclaimed as she left the room.  "I don't see how you can watch this!"  I tried to explain to her that if you pay attention, he's just doing the things Jesus was said to do, but in a different day, a different environment.  But what I've learned about religion - people cling to certain aspects, and totally ignore others (like living with your boyfriend when you aren't married, but getting mad at comedy skits).  Which isn't to say we don't all have some of that in us.  It's just that when you try to have a rational conversation about interpretation, someone has to pop off with their emotions about why you can't be right.

He's not finished with me yet.

Thank God he broke up with her.  She didn't get jokes.

Fast forward to 2014.  We were treated to a half baked, poorly produced, UNFUNNY fourth season of 'The Boondocks' that Aaron McGruder was not a part of.  Boy, did it show.  Even though his creation didn't hold up, he was able to secure a deal with Adult Swim to produce a full fledged "Black Jesus" sitcom.  People already want it gone.  That's understandable, as we can't even agree of what Jesus looks like, let alone how to show he was more than a man, but less than Superman.  Even in the trailer, it was made clear that there are characters that will doubt him being, well, the son of God, which is why saying IT'S JOKES FOLKS! will hopefully hold up against the blind rage of people that call anything they didn't come up with, or their parents didn't tell them, an abomination.

Not a stretch.  Not a stretch at all.

My suggestion?  Like any other TV show, give the thing a chance, and if it's not for you, be able to express why without sounding like an ex-girlfriend with no real life experience.  It's a big world out here people.  Have a look!

'Black Jesus' premieres tonight, 8/7/14, at 11pm ET on Adult Swim.

What a Job - The Athletes We Love, and the Things They Owe Us.

Rumble young men rumble.

"Everybody Hates Chris" is one of my favorite shows ever.  Although it dealt heavily in hyperbole, the message of family togetherness, surviving struggle, and the will to be understood were something we could all understand.  The titular character's relationship with his Father was my favorite part of the show.  Julius, portrayed by an ALWAYS IN LONG SLEEVES SO YOU DIDN'T SEE HOW BIG HE WAS Terry Crews was a hardworking, no nonsense character that stressed the value doing what you were paid to do to the very best of your ability.  To Julius, there was no such thing as "on time".  You were either early, or you were late.  Great words to live by.  In 1988, Chris Rock's actual father Julius died from ulcer surgery.  I'm no doctor, but I know ulcers are typically brought on by stress, so there's that.

Yeah... those jumpsuits were necessary.

We live in a world where we have unparalleled access to our favorite actors, entertainers and athletes.  I can send a tweet to hulk hogan RIGHT NOW (but I'm not gonna, brother) or tell Michael Jordan how great he is on Facebook (is Michael Jordan on Facebook?)  if I so desire.  But just because I have that ability doesn't change the relationship.  I'm still a customer, and they are still trying to sell me something.  We aren't friends, aren't pals, aren't all of a sudden part of the same UNIVERSE.  The rules are a bit different, but the game is the same - These people are here to give me something, until they aren't.  Then they aren't.

Some type of way...

People have the feels for LeBron James like no one else.  He brings out REAL emotion in them.  Best basketball player on earth, perhaps the very best athlete to ever bounce a ball.  He's been famous since high school, commands more media attention that anyone else, and his every move is over analyzed and heavily criticized.  We know the narrative - kid from northeast Ohio, gets drafted by his local team, gets that ass whooped year in and year out, holds a TV special saying he's out the door, fans burn jerseys.  I'm not from Cleveland, and have never been there.  I'm spoiled - I grew up supporting a storied football franchise as well as the picture of modern success basketball franchise.  But I wasn't pissed when Champ Bailey was traded for Clinton Portis.  I didn't lose my cool when Tim Duncan was looking into playing in Orlando.  AND I DIDN'T FLIP OUT WHEN MY ALL TIME FAVORITE POINT GUARD WASN'T ACQUIRED!  You know why?  Because these are jobs.  No one that I don't work for owes it to me to work at a certain place, especially if they have a better deal on the table someone.  ESPECIALLY if working somewhere else will make them happier.  Disappointment is one thing, but we would all leave our jobs if another job was more fulfilling.  Or paid more money.  It's the American way!  Need proof of that?  The same people that were out BURNING JERSEYS are writing letters, making videos, and doing everything they can to make the King's homecoming as royal as possible. Fandom is a series of temporary emotions, like a relationship with a jerk that buy lots of presents.  Presents are the best "I'm sorry"s ever invented.

Stay woke.

The one thing that makes people more angry than there favorite athlete switching teams is their favorite athlete quitting.  And that's a bit more tangible.  If you're like me, you can't just up and quit your job.  You have to show up, day after day, take shit, and then repeat the process time and time again.  Even if you're great with your money, you haven't saved up enough to just walk away, unless you have something else waiting in the wings.  I need to get my wings right.  Anyway, when your favorite star walks off a show, or the field, or from the wrestling ring, it's difficult to understand how they could do such a thing.  At least on the surface.

Yesterday, I wrote about Daniel Bryan, perennial underdog, his rise to the top of the WWE and his current fight to resume his career.  In many ways, his ascension mirrored that of CM Punk, RETIRED professional wrestler.  CM Punk was anti-superstar, a guy with a natural body, poor disposition, and the self confidence to voice his opinions when things weren't going the way he deemed appropriate.  If Daniel Bryan's rise was meteoric, Punk's was that slow burn, a series of starts and stops that ultimately culminated with an Indian style sit down, a Steve Austin T Shirt, and a Pipe Bomb.  From that day forth, Punk was a major player,  engaging in feuds with the very top talents, and having the longest title reign basically since I've been a real boy.  But things change, focus changes, and things you can't account for occur.  Other people get popular.  Not everyone is your biggest fan.  Your body gets worn down.  You see people around you struggle.  These are all things that happen at our jobs, but typically on a much smaller scale.

Gotta love it.

So you have a guy that doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink, and doesn't buy gaudy gifts.  But makes LOTS OF MONEY.  When you only bad habit is women, and you find a way to get through that habit with no kids and all your body parts in tact, you've won at the game of life.  WWE has maintained a hold on many a wrestler because of the money they needed to make up for the money they lost.  Not this guy.  He's set financially, and at the point where he knows his best physical days are behind him.  Much like LeBron, Punk has legions of fans that just want him on their team.  I've been a fan for years and years.  I've seen the guy in person at two Wrestlemanias.  But when I heard he wasn't going to be there, I didn't hold it against him.  If our companies paid us on the scale they pay him, then the politics of that company didn't augur with what we desired, wouldn't we walk away too?  I can't sacrifice my well being for anyone I'm not feeding IF I'm not happy doing it anymore.  A smile and a thank you just isn't worth my body.  Celebrity is a responsibility, but sacrificing oneself isn't a requirement if it isn't in you anymore.

So... y'all mad?

I can't fault a fan for cheering a guy on, and getting emotionally invested in them.  But you have to take some things from a personal standpoint, and understand that same desire to be great at their crafts influences their willingness to do what's best for THEMSELVES.  All we can really ask is for greatness WHILE WE HAVE THEM. Anything else would just be unrealistic.

Bonus: Devin the Dude x Snoop Dogg x Andre 3000 - What a Job

If That's It, Thanks for Everything - Thoughts on the WWE Career of Daniel Bryan

When they put "indefinitely" next to your name, it's almost always a bad thing.  Typically, you think suspensions, meaning that ass may never be back.  So when I heard Daniel Bryan was out "indefinitely", a myriad of emotions came over me.  There was fear, there was sadness, then there was relief.  I don't know which one is going to hold on the longest for me, let alone what he's thinking, but it's all at once scary, heart wrenching, and well, kind of ok.

The Apex.

 Bryan Danielson was one of the last of the "indy darlings", a guy that made a name for himself outside of one of the large, nationally televised wrestling promotions.  Trained by WWE Legend Shawn Michaels (San Antonio stand up)  he was a guy that was under 6 feet tall, less than 220 pounds.  We all know guys of that same build in real life that can hold their own in a fight, but wrestling promoters were always trying to make stars out of the guys that "turn heads at airports."  Danielson wowed crowds with hard hitting moves and submission holds, to where his size was a n afterthought during and after his matches.  He could also talk a good game, never boring or stale.  HE was someone you could make money off of.

OG "American Dragon" ROH days.

A few years back, he signed a deal with WWE, in an effort to make some real money before his career was over.  He was on the inaugural season of "NXT", a quasi-reality show where new wrestlers would compete in matches and competitions in front of the same crowds the main roster was up against.  Made to lose match after match, Daniel Bryan (his "new name") still stood out for his athleticism, regardless of the lines Michael Cole was fed to make him look unimpressive.  Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, of MTV fame, notably asked "what have you ever done?" time and time again, since all of Bryan's notoriety had been built outside of the WWE.  William Regal boldly stated that Bryan was "better" than Miz, which didn't seem to be the story they were pushing.

That about sums up NXT.

After the NXT experience, the competitors on that show were dubbed "The Nexus", a kind of "New Blood meets NWO" stable for those that suffered through the late stages of WCW.  They famously kicked the crap out of John Cena, CM Punk, and whoever else was at ringside.  Bryan was actually fired for choking out a ring announcer with his own tie.  In a world of scripted violence, this was deemed to harsh an act.  He was shortly brought back into the WWE mix, and put on some very good matches in the middle of the card.

Justin Roberts auditioning for Gyp in 'Boardwalk Empire'.

In the summer of 2011, he won a "Money in the Bank" contract, which gives the winner a title match at the time of his choosing.  He exercised this option later in the year to pin an already downed Big Show, and became World Heavyweight Champion.  Much in the vein of Rey Mysterio years earlier, he wasn't booked to win his matches outright, but by hook, crook, or disqualification,  he had been expanding his character, becoming increasing frustrated with the fan base, and chanting "NO!" at every turn.  It caught on, and more and more people would chant along with him.  This is around the same time my fantastic girlfriend got me the birthday gift of a lifetime - Tickets to Wrestlemania 28 in Miami, FL.  I was going to get to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson wrestle for the first time ever, and Daniel Bryan would also be defending his Wold Heavyweight Championship against Sheamus.

Daniel Bryan lost the match in 12 seconds.  12.  1-2.

It was shocking, and frustrating, to the point the crowd flooded the arena with boos.  The Wrestlemania crowd is different, in that they want the best PERFORMERS TO BE ABLE TO PERFORM.  They saw this as a real slight to a hard worker, and the next night, made it clear to WWE this wouldn't be accepted.  At Monday Night Raw, the following night, we were in unison with the other spectators chanting "YES!" or "NO!" depending on the situation, and when Bryan came out for his match, the entire place was into his every move, word, hell, breath, as we voiced our total support for him.  This would continue on, sometimes a murmur, other times full on cult like chants, depending on the venue.



Over the next two years, Bryan's matches got better, his mic work got better, and his fan base expanded.  Memorable matches with CM Punk, his comedic skits with Kane, all did more to solidify him a player in the big leagues, regardless of his size and perceived "it" factor.  At Summerslam 2013, Daniel Bryan beat an ailing John Cena for the WWE Title in a fantastic match.  I had friends over, and we all watched the match intently, hoping to see the underdog come out on top, and we were all jumping and high-fiving at the matches conclusion.  The moment was short lived, as the same "money in the bank" stipulation Bryan rode to his first title was used against him.  Randy Orton, with a huge assist from COO Triple H, beat Bryan for the title.  Over the next few months, we were treated to (terrible, boring, pointless) skits about why Bryan wasn't a fit champion.  It was his hair, his beard, his height, his weight, and how he would never be more than a "B+ player" (a play of a term used against Triple H years back).

Honeymooners meets Scooby and Scrappy.

 What we did still get were fantastic matches from him.  Whether it was going against Orton, The Shield, or The Wyatt family, it was the same in your face, hard hitting style fans had grown accustomed to.  At the 2014 Royal Rumble (where we had one of our super fun Rumble night contests) Bryan lost a really good match to cult leader Bray Wyatt.  People expected him to participate in the actual Rumble match, but he never showed.  This caused even more outrage, as the match considered most important (outside of 'mania) by most didn't have one of the biggest starts in the company.  This set the wheels in motion for Bryan to finally face Triple H one on one at Wrestlemania, for the chance to participate in the WWE World Heavyweight Title match later that night.  Bryan and Triple H had a GREAT match that Bryan ultimately won, and he would go on to defeat Randy Orton and Batista later that night to earn the title.  It was great being there live, as it was the culmination of the last two years, going from disrespect to the ultimate accolade.



It's hard to say exactly when Daniel Bryan hurt his neck.  Whether it was prior to Mania, or after, he wrestled Kane at the following pay per view, then was "injured" shortly after.  He underwent neck surgery, and was expected to be out no more than two months.  Between Mania and surgery, he had married his girlfriend, WWE Diva Brie Bella, and lost his father.  The gamut of emotions had definitely been ran, followed by maybe the biggest career obstacle he had faced.  At the June "Money in the Bank" pay per view, he came out and announced that he may need an additional surgery, which gave people plenty of reason to doubt when he'd be back.  Over the last few days, it was reported he'd be written out of story lines as no return date had been set.

Good Times.

You never want to see someone good at their job forced out.  It goes against the principles of hard word.  The guy does whatever he can to defy the odds, makes it to the very top, then can't continue.  You feel for him.  Then you think of the Chris Benoits and Eddie Guerreros of the world, guy who, if you could control it, would have walked away well before tragedy struck.  Who knows, he may be back later this year as good as ever.  But then you look at guys like Edge, who was forced out due to injury, but is stable, seems happy, and is going to be able to tell his children about the great things he did.  All in all, if we never get to see Daniel Bryan in the ring again, his story is one to appreciate, his matches are to be studied and applauded, and his path, hard as it was, is hopefully one people will follow.

Bonus - Top TWENTY Moves of Bryan Danielson - 



DOUBLE Bonus - Stunt Granny Audio #262 - Kevin and Shahid talk D. Bry's injury.

I Hope it's Just for the Likes - The Ratchet Facebook Status

(note - none of these statuses are edited or fabricated.)

Do you guys see where this is going?  Get ready...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Facebook was better (better meaning you didn't have to turn your screen at the job to use it) when you had to have a college email to use it.)  I've never been one to hold my tongue.  I'm outlandish, I'm rude, I'm petty.  These are all things you've probably gathered from reading here, or if you rock with me on social networks.  But the irony of the things I say are very rarely lost on me.  Outside of being prone to typos (the I before E thing haunts me to this day)  I'm fairly aware of the things I contribute to.  To the point where I've had "Come to Jesus" conversations with my mom (still gonna block you mom!) several times.  But my words, my links, even my retweets often pale in comparison to the portion of the population that only uses Facebook/twitter from mobile devices.

It went from zero to ratchet - REAL QUICK.

If you'd believe my timeline, these things would ring true - "niggas ain't shit, these heauxs ain't shit, if you ain't suckin' ya mans dick, that's why he's over here with me, we gettin' money and y'all ain't doin' shit, I hate my baby daddy, I hate my baby momma, real recognize real and you lookin' kinda unfamiliar (ok that one's lifted) and if you don't make this much and ya dick ain't this big, what are you bringing to the table?"

Yes, go read that back one more time, aloud if you have the freedom to.

Where did it all go wrong?  When did airing out all of your dirty laundry for the likes become what's hot in the streets?  I can't answer that, because I have neither the time or the motivation.  I'm just her for the li... to entertain.  If the opposite sex isn't treating you fairly in your estimation, that can be a problem.  We've all felt less than attractive, or less than appreciated,  at one point or another.  But proclaiming "he/she really ain't worth my time, I'm so over it"  proves that 1) they are worth the time for you to type it out and 2) WHENEVER someone says I'm over it, it's a clear signal that they aren't.  Think about it - have you ever told your parents "i ate all my vegetables"?  HELL NO, not unless you threw them shits away when they weren't looking!!!  It's against our nature to celebrate the things that upset us.  We say those type of things to inspire emotions in the other party, that is probably off doing something that makes them happy.  Right now.  While you waste time writing about them hoping that they see it!

Yeah... THAT'S why she isn't getting married. lolololololololololol.

Now as far as the heaux statuses go, man listen - man or woman, it's the ugliest part of a timeline.  Shocking? Yes.  Funny? Sometimes.  Offensive?  Always! People use Facebook as their own Talk show set, discussing the ins and outs of their sex lives for public consumption.  Which is all good, but you have to be ready for the backlash.  If you make a heaux status, and someone calls you a heaux, how can you be upset?  And who are you upset at?  Every time you hit that 'update status' option, you are giving the world a glimpse into who you are. and if you don't take the time to go over it, why should they take the time to examine it?  Everyone's not a comedian, and for the most part, you can gauge sometimes affinity for sarcasm.  Passing judgement isn't ideal, but stating that "I'll do what ya girl/guy won't" and getting offended when someone calls you out your name isn't being realistic.  Heaux.

... The more you know.

In short - self awareness will ultimately limit the lengths you'll go to for attention, and probably save you from a bunch or (rational) strangers calling you all types of jackasses and sluts.  Because if you didn't see the validity, you wouldn't get offended.  Jackass.
 

That Time my Kickstarter was Declined...

(I'll save you my tears and agony, and just list the preview word for word!)

 If the preview on their site still holds up, it can be viewed here.

Purpose - Creating a service in the Central Texas area where you pay a monthly fee to have liquor delivered (not sold) to your home on Sundays. 

I was at dinner with a few friends, planning out a "Sunday Funday". It was around 8:30 PM, and we were talking about it being a shame we wouldn't have time to buy any liquor. As many people know, you can't buy liquor in Texas on Sundays, or any type of alcohol before noon on Sundays. I thought aloud "it would be cool if someone could just bring you liquor on Sundays." It stuck in my mind the rest of the night, so much so I kept bouncing ideas off of my girlfriend the entire ride home. I'm a big fan of Netflix, Hulu Plus, and Xbox live. Paying a monthly fee for the things I care about never really bothers me with the level of entertainment I get out of them. Why can't the same thing happen with liquor? I want to create a service in Central Texas where you can pay a monthly fee to have liquor brought directly to you on the days you can't actually get to it without going to a bar or restaurant. If this works, I'd love to expand it further than just the Austin area, to anywhere in Texas that would have such a demand. If you think this is something you'd want to subscribe to, or if you just like to see fresh ideas realized, please support my campaign to add some convenience to weekend enjoyment.  

Risks and Challenges

 I think the biggest obstacle will be getting the subscription service off the ground. As an unproven brand, I'm sure people will want to see proof of this working before the shell out their money. I'd approach this by offering smaller introductory fees. There's also the obstacle of travel and timeliness. Myself and a few trusted friends would start off as the delivery people to make sure deliveries and timely and without incident. As the subscription level increases, I plan on bring on employees to help accommodate increased membership. There's also the matter of obtaining a liquor license, which would be applied for once the funding goals are met. This is certainly something that couldn't be produced in just a few weeks, but having the funding necessary will certainly speed the process along.

Incentives

Pledge $10 or more 

A personalized thank you card! Estimated delivery: Dec 2014 Ships within the US only

Pledge $25 or more 

An invitation to our Sunday kickoff party! Estimated delivery: Oct 2014 Ships within the US only

Pledge $50 or more

An invitation to our Sunday kickoff party AND your name on a "thank you" banner at the party! Estimated delivery: Oct 2014

Pledge $200 or more

A party, catered by us, during the football Sunday of your choosing! (must be in the Austin/San Antonio area) Estimated delivery: Nov 2014

Pledge $1,000 or more

Your last name used as one of the subscription level names! Estimated delivery: Oct 2014

The email I got from kickstarter - 

Unfortunately, this project does not meet our rules, as delivery services are outside of our scope. This isn't a judgment on the quality of this project, just a reflection of our focus.
We wish you the best as you continue to pursue this endeavor. If you have future projects that meet our focus, we hope you'll consider Kickstarter again.

It could've been cool!  But I guess we'll never know.  Unless someone out there wants to throw your boy 15 racks.  Then... we'll see!!!