Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Drake is Tony Montana, Future is also Tony Montana - "Me and My Friends" talk "WATTBA" (Part 2)

Author's Note - this is not an "out of 10 review"  because everyone does that now.  Part 1 of the conversation can be found here.

Metro Boomin, Manu Ginobili, Chicken Wings.  Yes.


"Digital Dash" - prod. by Metro Boomin, Southside

Chris Little:  Future Floated, Drake was cool, production was fire.
Cameron Hawkins:  Yeah, the production was crazy
Miles Burton:  Metro Boomin really letting people know he's still here!  Future tap danced all over that damn song man, that shit really make me wanna be fake kinda drunk in the bar dabbing, or hitting that DJ Esco.  Also, Drake is on the song too.  Cool.  Metro Boomin is important.  I like that Young Drizzy threw a tiny jab at the (Dream) chasers in it though.  "I might take Quentin (Miller) to follies."  That's a massage spot in Philly.
CH:  "You hate your life just be honest!"
MB: "Massage" in air quotes.

"Big Rings" - prod. by Metro Boomin

CL:  That chorus is STOOOPID.  The Future shot was on there.
CH:  "You just a battle rapper"
CL: "You just a battle rapper/ I'm an official Trapper!"
MB:  "Big Rings" is the second best song on the tape.  'Nuff said."
CH:  I think the production is great, again.

"Live From the Gutter"- prod. by Boi-1da, Metro Boomin

CL:  I didn't like this song.  Production was smooth though.
CH:  I don't like it's placement.
MB:  Future danced all over this once again.  This shit make me want to mask up and go get them niggas.  However, I don't have any beefs or even know who "them niggas" is.  Also, I live in South Texas.  Too hot for masks man.
CL:  Should have been in the middle, or close to the end.
CH:  It's solid, but Drake being live from anyone's gutter is laughable any time.
MB:  It does break the hype music transistion; it shouldn't have been right after "Big Rings".
CL:  "Gotta kill witnesses cause Miles' beard sticking out" *Hov voice*
MB:  Drake probably picked up Sean from the gutter when they were getting closer before Ashley was rolling at a party and kissed Sean.  Remember, they were getting back cool and Spinner was jealous? Word to Degrassi Street.
CL:  (texts 5 yelling face emojis)

"Diamonds Dancing" - prod. by Metro boomin, Allen Ritter, Frank Dukes, Mikey Rodrigues

CL:  No need to ask about #4 Cameron Hawkins.
MB:  Yeah Cam, skip that.  I can't be too hype at work right now.  If it's not the best song of 2015 TO ME, it's a close second.
CH:  Lol go to!
CL:  "Scholarship" is fire
(I post a screenshot of "Diamonds Dancing" in the group)
CL:  DAMNIT CAM I TRIED TO SKIP IT (3 yelling face emojis)
MB:  Metro Boomin is very important.
CH:  So, ok.
CL:  Future set the tone off right.
MB:  VERY IMPORTANT
CH:  Future FLOATED
MB:  Now I have to listen to the whole song twice
CH:  And really.  REALLY?  Drake had an outro that lasted 3 minutes.  Being apex selfish hurt Drake.  Being "Perfect Cell" Drake.
CL:  I appreciate hurt Drake.
MB:  "YOU KNOOOOW/WHAT I NEED/FROM YOOOU, WHEN I GET HOOOME!!!/ YOU BETTER NOT BE ON THE PHONE/ TALKIN' UP A STORM LIKE YOU USUALLY DO/ TALKIN' TO YOUR FRIENDS LIKE YOU USUALLY DO/ TELLIN' THEM I NEVER SPEND TIME WITH YOU/ IT'S HARD TO FIND THE TIME, WE BEEN/ Sippin' on Dom Perignon for no reason... Poppin tags, upper echelon for no reason...
CH:  Being "how can your life be worth living if I'm not in it" Drake.  Oh, Chris, it's him at his best.
CL:  He makes singing to these women great.  Perfect description Cameron Hawkins.
CH:  Like, if "Hotline Blng was on Cinemax instead of TBS, it would be "Diamonds Dancing".
MB:  Cam, don't disrespect.  No shde to my youngin, but "Hotline Bling" is so fucking terrible.
CH:  It's forgiveable... "(Diamonds Dancing) is... He went full James Caan in "Casino" on that.

"Scholarships" - prod. by Metro Boomin

CL:  "I rock Kentucky Blue, on these heauxs"
CH:  So here - why not just put this on the tape twice and toss "Live From the Gutter" in the waste bin????  And the flexibility - THEY CAN SAY THE SAME HOOK AND BOTH KILL IT MAN.  "Metro Boom make it BOOM, on these heauxs!"

"Plastic Bag" - prod. by Neenyo

MB:  really the worst song.
CH:  My thing - I know it's not for ME.
CL:  It's trash.
CH:  Cuz strip clubs don't make sense to me.
MB:  Cam, it might be because I don't like the shake joint.

"I'm the Plug" - prod. by Southside

MB:  REALLY I'M THE PLUG!!!
CH: So like, this is the Drake I want rapping.
CL:  Drake's verse on this song was great.
CH:  Big Sean supa dupa flow drake.  What beat is is a riff of?  Off DS2?

"Change Locations" - prod. by Noel

(name excluded):  I don't have enough money to fully appreciate "Change Locations"  but i like the song a lot, EXCEPT how high and nasal Drake's voice is during the "Me and my friends" part.  "SIXTY naked bitches no exaggeration"?!  Nigga, I've only had two a couple times.  This nigga had thirty times more bitches than me at one time, no exaggeration.
CH:  Buying bottles still silly though.

"Jumpman" - prod. by Metro Boomin

MB:  the second best song if we're in the club.  Second or third worst outside the club.

"Jersey" - prod. by Metro Boomin, Southside

CH:  AGAIN - just put this on twice and get "Live from the Gutter" outta here
MB:  Future really making wonderful music.  "Extendo Extendo Extendo, the (clip) gotta hold like thirty!... YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU POPPIN'!"
CH:  This really could have been on "DS2".

"30 for 30 Freestyle" - prod. by 40

CH:  Uh... Did Drake really say there's a conspiracy to get him out the paint?
MB: He really said that.  By the old niggas though, not his peers.  I don't think it's true, but he was fucking rapping on that shit.







Drake is Tony Montana, Future is also Tony Montana - "Me and My Friends" talk "WATTBA" (Part 1)

Author's note - everyone does "week of" reviews - decided to let this one marinate, then discuss it with like minded folk.




"eeewwwwwwwhhhhhhaaatttt a time!"


Once I find a movie I like, I can watch it time and time again.  A few examples - "Step Brothers is one of the start to finish funniest things I've ever seen.  I feel like I find something new each time I watch.  "Friday After Next” certainly isn't as GOOD as "Friday", but the shift in storytelling, and the supporting cast just work for me.  "Blade", the first great Marvel movie, is a basic cable staple, and when it's on, I watch start to finish every time, commercials included.

One movie I watch, but never finish, is "Scarface".  Hood classic, late bloomer, Spike TV's favorite go to, the story about Cuban criminal turned American criminal turned coked out corpse, is a movie I both love, and find hard to enjoy in it's entirety.  Whenever Scarface is on, I stop the movie right after you see the tiger in the garden.  He made it.  Tony Montana rose to the top, got the girl, and the ridiculous pet.  Fin.

So my relationship with the super popular film parallels the relationship I have with Drake's music.  I'll preface this by saying, its all pretty good.  There really hasn't been anything he's released I didn't "like" upon hearing.  The issue is timing.  "So Far Gone", Drake's first mainstream mixtape, is maybe the most important collection of music to me personally.  To set the stage:

I had just recently graduated college, and had a well paying job.  I'd been seeing a girl for about four years, and we'd just moved in together.  Over the course of about four months, it just fell apart.  There was nothing specific, it was just the change from living with/ around friends, and going to just the two of us, didn't work at the time.  So the next few months were, in a word, intense.  I was out every night.  I was drinking more days than not.  I had never really dated, so I was getting used to the whole dinner/movie drinks aspect of early 20's adulthood.  But I figure this was how everyone else was living, so I should embrace my newfound freedom.

I didn't really talk to anyone about the situation for a time. It's hard to talk about things in your head going bad, when you have more control over your life than before, especially at a young age.  But the fun, wasn't always fun.  You become accustomed to sharing your space, your thoughts, meals with that other person.  So, to cope, there's the alcohol.  There are the parties, the bars.  There's poor dieting and a lack of exercise.  You want to exist in a space where you don't worry about what isn't happening anymore, but you want to control as much of every other aspect as you can. 

So word of mouth starts talking about "So Far Gone", and how this kid from Canada can really rap/ harmonize.  I give it a run.  I'm immediately floored.  The bars are strong.  The cadences are crisp.  The "ballads" as they were, REALLY work.  But the best thing about it - it's just so unapologetic in it's selfishness.  It's "808's and Heartbreak" if Kanye could naturally produce an alto.  The entire crux of it is "how am I supposed to handle all these good things happening to me?" and I could understand, start to finish.  It was about being the pressures of being desirable, asking people to fix things you ruined, and most importantly, nothing is really my fault.

So it's difficult for me to dive into the deep end of any other Drake project.  The music has progressed, and for all intents and purposes, he's BETTER today at singing and rapping.  But "So Far Gone" was my crutch, my doctor, my friend.  I don't need that tarnished, because it meant so much at the time.

On the opposite end of that is Future.  I want to hear every Future record made ever.  I want the stuff he tossed in the garbage, the stuff that didn't make a mixtape cut.  Whereas Drake's first big project is the very best of "Scarface", Future is the extended cut.  It's all so painful.  It's sex, drugs, and rock & roll, but if Roger Troutman smoked Newports and had his jaw wired shut.  I love it.  It's dark, even when it's being lighthearted.  I understand being around people that don't have your best interest at heart, self-medicating, and well, crazy dealings with women.  Everything he has to say, even if I can't internalize it, I want to know about it.

"DS2" is phenomenal.  It's blood and guts, the whole way through.  "Is Rap music destructive?"  Is always a hard conversation for me, because like most things, it's how you internalize it.  I'm pretty sure at least 15 people died over the course of 18 songs.  MAD BIRDS got flipped.  So many pints of lean were consumed!  But it's the way you present the subject matter.  People forget Nelly's first single was about a damn drive by, because of the sing-songy nature of the hook.  HE CAME OUT THE GATE KILLING PEOPLE!  So when Future has the confidence to title a song "The Percocet & Stripper Joint", neither of which I'm really fond of, and I can't stop listening, I know whatever the subject matter, he's going to present it in a way I just want to hear more.  It's real artistry - no matter the specifics, it's crafted in a way that even if you don't live it, you can SEE it.

Perhaps the biggest hook to Future's music is how it deals with women.  It's certainly not embracing any type of one on one relationship, but the why out weight the "WTF?" for me.  It's common knowledge Kayne's "808's" and "MBDTF" were inspired by ex girlfriends (to varying results), and a common idea is that "Yeezus" was hyper sexual because it was created while his wife was pregnant.  So when Future opens with "you'll fuck a bitch nigga for the fame, won't you?/ you'll give that pussy up to a lame, won't you?"  you have a pretty good read on who's being referenced.  So even it the relationships aren't the one's your parents would approve of, you see real world events inspire language and code, making the music more authentic.  In 2015, this is the only artist who's every word I'm hanging on.  In the same way that I replay the hotel chainsaw scene in "Scarface" 5 or 6 times every time I watch.  Up until the Tiger.  Because there's really no movie after that.  I'm convinced.

The "What a Time to be Alive"  group conversation is in part 2.


Sunday, June 7, 2015

'Fan, Not a Fan Podcast' - CW's "The Flash" Part 1




A friend and I reflect on the first season of CW's "The Flash, from pretty different perspectives. We talk themes, characters, previous shows/ movies, and dig into why some of the directions taken were made.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Why I'm Pulling for the Stranded Students of Corinthian Colleges, Inc.

Note- I was contacted by Maya Pope-Chappell, a news editor at LinkedIn overseeing education content, to write a blog post for LinkedIn concerning students reusing to pay back student loans/ ascking the Department of Education to forgive their loan payments, based on false reporting on graduation/job placement on the part of Corinthian Colleges, my former employer.  I have no idea if blogging is included in my LinkedIn profile, but this was a great chance to get out years of opinions and frustrations. The link to the actual post is here.
My name is Cameron Hawkins.  I am a Finance Planner at the Everest Institute in Austin, TX.  My campus was a subsidiary of Corinthian Colleges Inc. until February 2nd, 2015.  I've worked at this campus, in this position, since March 2nd, 2009, the majority of my adult life.  I did as much growing up in this particular office as I ever did in college, or high school before that.  I include a bit about myself only to help show why my opinions, and strong feelings, are those of a person that came into this position with ignorance, and innocence, and has probably become a bit hardened of the course of six years.
The campus had been opened under the "National Institute of Technology" name for years before I started.  When I came on board, it was thriving.  The student population was large, vibrant, and people from all walks of life were coming to school to further their educations.  In my first week or training, I heard the story of a man who had spent a good part of his adult like in prison, and wanted to change the path of "going nowhere fast" as he coined it.  At this point, I'm 23, and education hardship isn't something I knew much about.  I'd just finished college, where some people were rich, some broke, but on an intellectual and social level, we were more or less the same.
As time went on, the stories got more and more interesting.  You had people that were going to school to no longer have to rely on abusive partners, people that were recently divorced and had no income of their own, people with asylum form other countries, pretty much the full scope "what else could happen?" came across my desk.  And for each of these people, the goal was to find a way to get them into school, one way or another.
In just about every case, regardless of income, our students walked out the door having to pay back some portion of the cost of education.  For example, in 2011-2012, it's fair to say the cost of education, on average, was $17,500.  So if Susie Smith, who works at Best Buy, and has one kid, wants to attend school?  Here's how things would break down for her:
1 person household, $25,000 per year income, eligible for financial aid -
$5550.00 - Pell grant (does not have to be repaid)
$3500.00 - subsidized Stafford loan (3.4% interest rate)
$6000.00 - unsubsidized Stafford loan (6.8% interest rate)
So this would be standard to a person eligible for the full amount of financial aid offered during their time here.
What complicated this was that in most cases, they also had a private loan they had to pay back to make up for the difference in costs.  So, that gap of $2000-$3000 that wasn't accounted for by government aid?  That became a private loan based on Susie's credit, that at one point had an interest as high as 17% if the credit report didn’t favor her.  So for that $2000, she'd be paying $40/mo in school to cover the interest, and then $200/mo between her federal and private loans.  It never seemed fair, but to many of us, that was the price you paid, quite literally, for OUR education.
Whether it was a requirement or not, it was STRONGLY suggested that anyone working in financial aid, or admissions, had at least an Associate’s degree, or was working towards their Bachelor's in order to work in those positions.  I'm not sure if it was by design, but it did make talking about using student loans an easier conversation with a prospective student.
"That's a lot of money to pay back."
"Well I went to school too.  I think of it as necessary, in that without using loans to help fund your education, you may not be able to get one until you're in a position to pay out of pocket.  Most of us weren't in that position, and it's something we pay back now, but it's worth it."
I never felt, and still don't feel, I ever talked someone into doing something that wasn't their intention.  It's my understanding that a school needs students to operate, but the idea of stressing how to make a payment each month doesn't help a student focus.  But student loan debt is something I'd have in common with just about every student, and in just about every case, the dollar amount I was paying back was triple the amount they were facing, so it never seemed like "that much" from my side of the cubicle.
Now, Admissions and Financial Aid are really the entry points to our industry.  The other half is of course, the classroom, and career services.  "Are y'all going to help me get a job (this is Texas) after I'm done?" was a frequent, and necessary question.  I always told students that we have a department specifically geared toward just that.  Career Services, in my estimation, was created specifically to separate trade Education from your standard college experience.  I wasn't given information on what jobs to go after, or who to talk to, once I graduated.  Corinthian sought to account for creating good will by hiring people specifically to help with resumes, find externship sites (most classes require a month of unpaid work in the field to graduate) and develop job leads so graduates would not finish and have nowhere to go.
On occasion, a prospective student would lean in during an appointment and ask, "so, do they REALLY help find jobs, and how can I make sure I'm ok."  I could only speak from what I saw, as that wasn't my department.  I always told students to make themselves known to Career Services, and not to wait until their final month or two to do so.  I never saw job placement as favoritism, but it's far easier to find a place for a student who not only does good work, but makes it a point to be known, and be forthcoming about their goals.  Many students already had a feel for a particular site or company they wanted to work for, so they didn't really need that department, but very rarely did I see someone qualified, with a good attitude, get lost in the shuffle.
I've seen students who were kicked off of extern sites complain about not getting hired at a place they were interested in.  While this certainly wasn't the majority, they make it hard for people to recommend them based on a past performance.  I've never heard a conversation end with "I’m not going to find this person anything" but I'd assume that in order to maintain goodwill with certain employers, you'd have to limit who you'd recommend based on prior knowledge.  Another thing that made job placement hard was criminal history.  For some occupations, like the medical field, anyone with a felony conviction was almost immediately steered into something else that would be a bit more forgiving, like a skilled trade (Heating/Air, Electrical Tech).  But even a tamer history complicated job placement.  In a school looking to be a positive alternative to traditional education, I certainly understand wanting to give people a chance regardless of past transgressions, but I'm sure there were people, if given the chance to see what would happen at the end of their programs, would have chosen not to incur the debt associated with their education.
When Corinthian came under fire, the chief accusations were misleading students about their job prospects, as well as the actual number of people that completed the programs.  It's hard to speak to specifics, as the accusations were primarily lobbied at California campuses.  Whenever you complete the FAFSA form, it gives you graduation and retention numbers for whatever school you choose to send the information to.  our campus in particular has around a 75% graduation rate.  Working in financial aid, it's difficult to say if that number is on the nose.  I'd say it's not far off, based off of re-entries and drops.  A re-entry is a student that quits the program, and comes back as later point.  Sometimes, a re-entry can be gone for full years, and still be able to pick up where they left off at a prorated tuition amount,  Even though we see re-entries regularly, it pales in comparison to the amount of new students we enroll on a  daily basis.
(While writing, I took a break to go to our primary file room - in the section designated "drops" from 2011 to the present, I counted roughly 28 filing cabinets and 64 stacked boxes.  The rest of the room was either current student or graduates.  With the space that took up, I'd suggest the numbers are on point, if not very close.)
With all that said, I do have very strong opinions about former senior management/employment, and the role that should play in former students repaying their costs of education.  We've had students sit in class for a few days, decide that it wasn't for them, and leave.  They were able to be "reversals", meaning they weren't charged for the time they sat in class.  With students who did what I believe was longer than ten days, they were considered drops, they'd have to pay back the tuition earned while they were here, which varied by program.  Typically, a student who stays for 4 months of an 8 month program was responsible for around 50% of the cost, less depending on what books they'd received to that point.  Now, this was all prior to the fears of the school closing.  As emails/ articles started to be read, student would pop in with questions on what would happen to them, and what would happen to their loans.  The most common idea out there was that if they'd started, the school would be around long enough to do a "teach out", where they would be able to finish the program with the certificate awarded for completion.  And that since they finished the program, they'd have to pay back their loans.  If their school in particular was a not a "teach out" school, their federal loans would be refunded in full.  We didn't have any word on if they'd have to repay their 3rd party loans or not.
Our campus in particular didn't close, as we were purchased by the non-profit company Zenith, but that didn't stop a flood of phone calls:
"Since y'all are closing, do I have to pay back my loans?"
"Who do I need to talk to about loan forgiveness since you won't be able to place me in a job?"
"I heard the government is shutting you down, do I still owe you guys money?"
All of those questions were answered more or less the same way:  If you attended here, you're still responsible for your loans.  Now, if we had closed, like many other schools, here's how I would interpret repayment:
As a school where the back end is geared SPECIFICALLY to help student find employment, if an entire "Start", or generation of students cannot be placed due to circumstances outside of their control, the school has failed them.  As an employee, I'd leave a closed school with the job experience, and monetary compensation, to go somewhere else and maybe not miss a beat.  I think the big secret about trade schools that is communicated, but not really explored, is that the credits RARELY transfer there isn't one curriculum shared by all schools.  So Susie can't come here for 4 months, have the school close, and pick up somewhere else that isn't under the Corinthian Umbrella, and most cities under that umbrella only have a single campus.  So a student that went to a Corinthian school for 7.5 months then had the school close, they likely paid for the entire cost of an education they can't produce proof of!  In instances where a student devoted time, and energy to an education stripped from them, I don't think they should have to foot any portion of that bill unless the program can be completed.
Student that were able to finish, but don't have a career services department to go through, that's a tougher situation to tackle.  On one hand, they were given all of the knowledge in the field they were pursuing.  On the other, a very strong portion of what was promised to them is gone.  Much like student loan forgiveness exists for other careers/ walks of life. That should be handled on a case by case basis.  Plenty of students bypassed that aspect of we offer, and were just fine in the long run.  I still concede that without that, it hinders some student from attaining employment, because not everyone has the same access/ connections to find employment.
The question of who should help to pay for these students has come up.  I'm always slow to put that burden on people that have nothing to do with the errors in judgement on a situation.  The buildings/ campuses the company held?  Once those are sold, that money should go to repaying the debt students incurred.  The individuals making huge sums of money while all this was falling apart?  They should have money taken from them to aid those individuals they misled.  This isn't a faceless issue - the people who made poor choices have been outed, and in many cases let go, but that doesn't make them any less responsible to the people they hurt.  When you have a company headed by people that can't even remember their dedicated employees' names, and work across the hall from them, you can't expect those same people to value students they've never even met.  These are the people that should have to atone for students worrying about their next step in life, when all they've done is try to better themselves.
Being employed by a new company, with in many cases new leadership, there's no personal axe to grind with Corinthian Colleges.  In some cases, their name is still on the paperwork.  But when you have to look at a room full of grown men and women, and you can't tell them if the lights will be on tomorrow, you can't help but want those responsible to make it right, whether it's voluntary, or forced on them.  To any student left out there, you've got lots of people that know your struggles, and hardships, and know that you deserve to be heard, to be respected, and vindicated for any hardship this caused you.


Friday, March 27, 2015

Just (Gorilla) Press Play - South Kongress Wrestlemania 31 Preview (Part 2)

Where the Big Boys Play button.

Just (Gorilla) Press Play - South Kongress Wrestlemania 31 Preview (Part 2) can be found here.

Icon vs. Guy who's wrestled a long time - Sting vs. Triple H

I have two buddies that try to tell me how great Sting is, like I didn't see Sting matches in the 1990s.  The best work Sting ever did was standing in the rafters and pointing his bat at the nWo.  Which isn't a shot - that shit was fire.  But some would have you believe Sting's last match was against Ric Flair in 2001 on the final Nitro.  Not so fast yo.  Sting was half stepping in TNA collecting big checks all through my adult life.  And Triple H - he's cool.  His in ring work since Wrestlemania 28 has been good to great just about any time out.  So what if i can't stand the guy on my television?  They've had 6 months plus to plan this match out, and both are protective over their legacies/ portrayals, so I think this match will be a welcome surprise.  And well... Sting HAS to win, right?  Triple H is over big footing guys he shouldn't, right? RIGHT?  Who the hell knows.  I'll roll with the special attraction, and not the guy I'll be changing the channel on for the foreseeable future.   Also, for you two, 50 and Josh... Sting isn't trash.  Often.  Winner - Sting



This Happened.  LOOK! LOOK! IT DID!

Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title - Daniel Bryan v. Stardust v. R-Truth v. Dolph Ziggler v. Dean Ambrose v. Luke Harper v. Wade Barrett (c)

It's been ten years since the first "Money in the Bank" ladder match.  The day I declared "SHELTON BENJAMIN IS THE FUTURE!!!" and was proven very, very wrong.  When you have a billion guys on the roster, and you don't want to downgrade all of them, this is what happens.  For reference, I've been on the Cody Rhodes bandwagon since Legacy, even before.  I've written words on words about just how great Daniel Bryan is.  Ambrose has a great upside as long as he isn't fighting in the gimmick of the week match against Bray Wyatt.  R-Truth, for all the, uh... acting... he does, gets credit for maintaining excellent physical condition, and maintaining a damn job all these years.  Luke Harper was hot toward the end of the Wyatt family run, has an amazing look, and looks like he can WIN A DAMN FIGHT.  Ziggler is a victim of his own bravado, but deserves more than he's been given, and Barret?  The champ?  HE AND THE NEXUS SHOULD HAVE BEATEN JOHN CENA BACK IN THE DAY AND I STILL FEEL A WAY ABOUT THAT BULLSH... sorry, got in my feelings a bit there.  For reasons I'll detail a bit later, I see Bryan winning this match, and returning a certain level of prestige to the IC Strap.  I think Stardust and Ziggler will have the standout performances though.  Winner - Daniel Bryan



There aren't enough flame emojis for the 'Dust Alternate uni.


Singles Match for the United States Title - John Cena v. Rusev (c) w/ Lana

I haven't been this excited for a John Cena match in 3 full years (when the Rock rightfully whooped that ass in Miami) and I'm genuinely hyped for this.  Rusev is great.  He's tough, he can move, his kicks look like they hurt, his promos seem genuine, he's imposing, even his "Russian Nationalist" gimmick seems believable because the disdain with which he speaks about America... he's not out there telling any old lie!  He's coming from a place of truth, just real enough to piss people off.  He hasn't been running through the competition like Goldberg's streak, but he takes the very best shots from his opponents, survives it, and finds ways to win.  He's just great to watch.  Lana, also, doesn't hurt the cause.  She's a great mouthpiece for him, with her tone, and inflections, and oh so tiny business suits.  John Cena is - what do you even have to say?  He puts on great performances in big matches.  His promos leading up to this have been serious in tone, WHICH IS ALL WE'VE EVER ASKED THE GUY TO DO!  The first match they had was just excellent, so I feel they'll go above and beyond here to give the people a show.  Cena kicks off his "award tour" by regaining the first singles title he put on his mantle, minus the played out spinner gimmick.  Winner - John Cena



America is trash, this is my lady, I'll mess you up.  Cool?

Now, I'm predicting both Bryan and Cena to win their matches, and titles, largely because of my main event prediction.  WWE is going to transition those titles from afterthoughts to the big deals, because of this...

May see this again, REAL soon...

Singles Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Title - Roman Reigns v. Brock Lesnar (c) w/ Paul Heyman

Man, I see an ass kicking on the horizon.  I mean a shellacking.  Roman Reigns is going to catch the biggest fade of anyone ever.  I'm saying this, and I LIKE Roman Reigns.  Other than his trash ass promos, I like him in the ring.  I've gotten over the idea that a guy needs 50 moves to be great.  Just Look at Lesnar.  He hit John Cena with the same move 14 times at Summerslam, and no one with a shred of credibility complained!  Even if die-hard fans were more behind Reigns, Brock Lesnar is simply at the peak of his powers.  I never took issue with him showing up part time.  I watch Boxing.  I watch MMA.  I watch seasonal sports.  Seasonal shows.  There's something to be said for having to wait to see things.  Netflix binging is great,  but the anticipation that comes from delayed satisfaction... there's no replacing that.  So now that Brock has signed up for 3 more years, if he only shows up 12 times a year, I have no problem there, and I'm sure I'll enjoy each and every time.  My prediction is that Reigns is booed out the building, defeated handily, and Brock leaves Wrestlemania the best part time champ you could ask for.  The IC and US titles become big deals, with the roster chasing Cena/ Bryan, and those titles headlining the house shows/ TV events other than the ones Brock appears on.   Top to bottom, it's a pretty good card, and this year sure looks like a win for the WWE.  Winner - Brock Lesnar




Thursday, March 26, 2015

Just (Gorilla) Press Play - South Kongress Wrestlemania 31 Preview (Part 1)

Time to play button the game
It's been awhile, but now seems like a fitting time to pick the keys back up and do a little writing.  It's just after SXSW, and days before the Texas Relays, so that means... to quote a certain wife of a certain video game music producer... it's WRESTLEMANIA!  This year's a bit different, as it's the first time we won't be attending the live event in a few years.  But, this gives me a better opportunity to watch this like I watch the rest of the shows.  I tend to get a bit lost, being around all those people, taking in all the different sights and sounds, so this year will feel a bit closer to home.  So, after all this prefacing, let's cover the card match by match, and try to get a feel for the winners, losers, and happenings of this year's event.

Hardest gang in Cana- I mean Swi- nvm.  These guys can go.

Fatal 4 Way for the WWE Tag Team Titles - New Day (Big E/ Kofi Kingston) v. Los Matadores v. The Usos v. Cesaro/Kidd (c) 

If nothing else, this is a great way to put some energy and athleticism into a show that, on the surface, seems to lack it.  All four of these teams are athletic, with the champs and New Day both having a nice mix of speed and power.  As competitors, I'm a fan of all four teams, even though I dislike the Los Matadores gimmick, and LOATHE the New Day gimmick (side note:  white folks chant "new day" ironically.... it's that bad) to the point that I can't actually CHEER the guys on.  The Usos are, to me, the "it" team right now.  The can move, their offense is believable, and they seem to really shine in pay-per-view matches.  I'd much prefer a standard tag match between them and the champs.  Tyson Kidd should be applauded for accepting a long term demotion to NXT, making guys look great, and making the most of his return to the main roster.  I hate seeing Cesaro slotted as anything other than a top tier singles guy,  but he's held his own as what I'd call the complimentary piece of that team.  I'm picking the champs to retain in a very fast paced, hard hitting match.  Winners - Cesaro/Kidd

"Just wait on it!" - Migos

Randy Orton v. Seth Rollins 

Seth Rollins is making the most of his opportunity as a major player in WWE.  Cliche as it sounds, I think it's the biggest compliment you can bestow on a guy.  He went from (by design) the third wheel in the hottest act in wrestling, to the top in ring heel in wresting almost seamlessly.  What more impressive is that he did this during the transition to long, drawn out promos that people would groan at in chat rooms and Facebook groups.  He was an indy darling, a minor league all star, and is now in position to have a major role in the world's largest wrestling promotion for years to come.  He put on size, adapted to WWE's in ring style, but kept enough on his athleticism to still stand out.  You believe he's a snake, but that if need be, he can hit you in the mouth hard enough to make it count.  Plus, a Jon Stewart co-sign doesn't hurt.  In many ways, he's what Randy Orton SHOULD be.  That's not to say Orton is bad by any stretch.  But I don't look at this match as Orton being the big star Rollins gets to test himself against.  This is the Rollins show, and he's almost at that level where, win or lose, he's going to come out looking stronger than before.  These two are so good in the ring, you know you'll see magic happen, hopefully it isn't lost in the shuffle of all the higher profile matches.  Going into a Mania match with the MITB briefcase, and the uncertainty in the main event (we'll get there) I see Rollins losing clean to a kind of returning conqueror Orton.  Winner - Randy Orton

Not a big fan... but them jerseys though...

AJ Lee/ Paige v. The Bellas 

I don't watch 'Total Divas'.  I watch PLENTY of terrible "unscripted" things, but that isn't one of them.  But I can say this - as the Bellas have gotten more famous, they've gotten SO MUCH BETTER in the ring.  Whether it's the new found attention, or the pressure of the NXT Women breathing down their necks, they've taken their craft way more seriously than before.  AJ and Paige?  You don't have to question their skill set at all.  With the show being as long as it is, you hope they get enough time to really go out and show what they can do.  AJ  jumped on twitter and told her bosses the truth about the world, and in my experience, that very rarely produces the desired results, so it's tough to pick her team to win.  However, eventually the Bellas have to lose, right?  They always seem to come out on top if for no other reason than to be more annoying the next go round.  So perhaps, to show there's no hard feelings (yeah right) the better team gets the nod.  Winners - AJ Lee/Paige

Andre hovering over MAD create-a-players

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal 

Cesaro won last year, and he's on the pre-show this year.  This won't get many words from me.  I hope Mark Henry eliminates a bunch of guys, Axel does something hilarious,  and the guy I'm picking to win has a good year after he wins.  Winner - Damien Sandow (Mizdow)

My finger being the 1, to signal the 1, in 21-1

Bray Wyatt v. The Undertaker 

I was in the building when Taker lost his first Wrestlemania match.  It was the largest crowd of silent people this side of Mecca.  I was pretty sure it was the very last time we'd be seeing the Undertaker in a WWE ring, and I was fine with the send off.  Now, he's back.  It all just seems so forced.  I dig Bryatt Wyatt as a character, as an athlete, as a performer.  He moves great for his size, has a great look, and just seems like he could mess you up if need be.  It's certainly a natural fit for the psychedelic cult preacher to want to take down the local immortal Specter.  It's just about a year too late.  There's really no reason to have the Undertaker lose this match, as starting a negative streak for a guy that is a special attraction lessens the special.  And Bray can talk that hot shit the very next day and have his mojo back.  Have to go with the Dead Man here.  Winner - The Undertaker 

Come back Friday, 3/27, for my picks in the IC Title Ladder Match, US Title Match, Icon vs. That One Guy Match, and the WWE World Heavyweight Title Match!





Thursday, November 20, 2014

Pudding Pops, Pusha T and Paramount Pictures - Bill Cosby? Not your Father.

I went to a Hannibal Buress show earlier this year. I knew him as an SNL writer, and a supporting character on the show 'Broad City' I rave about. Buress is my kind of comedian - he's in the know.  Well read, but not removed from urban culture. In a crowd that mostly early 30's white men and women, I was one of the few reciting the Pusha T songs that played during the pre show. You can't control your audience, but you can control what you give them. In a post Dave Chappelle world, it was nice to have a comedian that operates in a space similar to mine.


The show was really, really good. He covered a wide range of topics - music, sex, race, violence, drugs... all the things we laugh about, cry about, and stay up at night contemplating. That, coupled with the fact that we brought in a few flasks, made for a fantastic experience. Months later, Buress did what lots of comedians do - he took a very real situation, deadpanned it, and waited for the crowd to react. Bill Cosby, famous TV dad, legendary comedian and crotchety old Black guy, spent YEARS stressing that, in many cases, we as young Black people were our own worst enemies. "pull up your pants, use your suffixes, turn your hat around" the whole nine. I've had this argument with parents, kids, teachers, hell, strangers, about the validity of such a statement. I could write an entire post on the intricacies of who's at fault there, but that's for another time. Before I talk about Bill Cosby being the scum of the earth, I want to explain to you my adoration of Bill Cosby. I'm a 28 year old Black Man from the east coast with a college degree. I fucking love Bill Cosby. I love Bill Cosby for the Huxtable family. This was a Black family of Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers, and dedicated students. They weren't "holier than thou" people. They made being educated seem NORMAL, like that's the way things were supposed to be. Even when light skinned Elvin decided showed up to lead Sondra astray, Elvin came from an educated family, so even if his common sense was gone, he had the tools to help people out in the world.

No funny quips here... except "jammin' on the one!"  Loved that.

Even heavier than that, 'A Different World' was, and still is, mandatory viewing for children Black, white, and in between. I've seen every single episode front to back, and they still hold up. I've never seen LIFE on screen the way Hillman was given to us. The place was alive, teeming with ideas, hunger, fear... it was what I wanted from adulthood before I even knew what adulthood was. Looking back on it as a person older than those characters now, you see the ignorance the apprehension, the desire for understanding. It was a look at life after high school, but before the world really begins, that hasn't been replicated since.

When being smart became being awesome!

So Bill Cosby, or Heathcliff Huxtable, or Debbie Allen, or Carmen Finestra, someone, was definitely a surrogate parent for me. But arrogant ass that I am, when people start talking crazy, I start separating the characters from the men behind them. BILL COSBY HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF RAPE FIFTEEN TIMES MAN. Now, I knew that, Weez and Travis probably knew that (hey guys) I'm certain Miles knew that, and Bradford and Chad knew that, because they know everything. I'm at the barbershop Wednesday, like I typically am on Wednesdays, and we started talking Cosby after the story came across the HLN ticker. I'll tell you something about Black people, if you weren't aware - we are VERY SLOW to condemn our successful individuals. Because we claim them as our own successes, it's very hard for us to throw them away. I had a spirited discussion which ended with me being called a coon because I choose not to listen to Michael Jackson anymore. Without getting into too much detail, MJ's catalogue is great, and I'd never tell anyone else they shouldn't partake... but I'm cool over here. So the first reaction from a woman in the shop was "that's a shame, someone trying to get Bill Cosby." In a very even tone I responded "this is the 15th time he's been accused of rape or sexual abuse." The two barbers nodded their heads, and that was the extent of the conversation. You damn near have to kill a Black baby while entering a white woman to have the Black community turn against you!

How Black folks treat Black celebrities with "issues".

So understand my shift in feelings if you will - Bill Cosby, who told us to "act" a certain way for years and years, had access to channels other Black actors/ artists never did, because of the wholesome image he portrayed. Here's where it gets a little dark. How does a Black man, albeit a world renowned one, get accused of rape that many times, and most folks NEVER EVEN HEARD ABOUT IT?  Because that's an image organizations work hard to maintain, because they can make a fucking MINT off that image. There are people who do bad, bad things that you'll never know about, because they mean too much to someone in power for that information to be as widespread as it should.

Hold up... YOU want ME to pull up MY pants???

Who knows what'll happen from here - maybe Bill Cosby's life finishes out in prison, maybe he goes broke paying off lawsuits, maybe he "gets away with it" and spends his remaining days in a big house on a pile of money. Just be aware that the things we grew up on, the things that shaped us, were at least in part put out there to turn a profit. Don't let Bill Cosby ruin Heathcliff Huxtable. Or 'Ghost Dad'. That guy was a Saint.

HOW WAS THIS EVEN A THING?


Bonus - Me at the Hannibal Buress Show - Gibberish Rap x Ballerinas