Grammy Wins and Freedom Losses

What a Grammy weekend it was… first and foremost you know I have to get on Chris Brown (pause) for what went down. Long story short, be came outta kayfabe (god I’m a mark) and put the horns to Rihanna so to speak. And he did so after he found out she was Typhoid Maryin’ dude on the herpes tip. That she got from a rapper. Who’s on the “Swagger Like Us” posse cut. And is married. We know who that leaves, and are you surprised? Like, we heard they had been getting’ down for awhile now, and who here thinks you could ever have anything relative to an interested conversation with Beyonce? (Come on, I’m either really, really wrong or she’s dead behind the eyes) So dude turned himself into authorities and they both missed their performances this at the big show. My take? Good riddance. That double your pleasure shit is the worst song ever because a) it sucks and b) they had the nerve to expose themselves and put it in that double mint commercial (though maybe they should get credit for honesty?)
So anyway, on to the awards… like all the big awards shows, people I’ve never heard of won alotta shit. Actually in this case, the only act I wasn’t familiar with was Plant & Krauss, and hell, they won like everything. Coldplay got there’s as well, and with all the black co-signs they get, I suppose all is well in that department. I was hella glad Adele got her just due. She’s a real talent, and its great that even though she doesn’t have that traditional beauty (see: sex appeal) she can flat out blow and her music has feeling.
So now its time to rant… what the fuck was with that Stevie Wonder/ Jonas Brother Ccusterfuck!?!? They were like “show me what you got Stevie!” when it was his turn to sing. WTF? Who the hell are they to ask Stevie to sing? He shoulda been like “nigga, I got tens of millions sold and hundreds in pocket… show me what your flavor of the month ass got!” But you know how long they’ll be on top… just look at Hanson. Also, my dude Kanye just couldn’t resist… but they shoulda known not to let that nigga present an award he never won. My take? They knew what they were gonna get and it’s what they wanted. And Katy Perry… oh Katy Perry. Bless her heart. Since I love when I’m applauded, I’ll thank Illseed for recognizing my comedic genius when I called her about as talented as “Madonna without the 80’s as an excuse.” She can’t sing, dance, and I bet she didn’t even write that song… not that most do, but she has no discernable talent to speak of. And she’s probably not even eating the monk, so where’s the payoff?
Wayne snagged his 4 awards, and I was happy for him. Hard work should pay off, and his banner year continued. In my opinion, everyone’s individual performances outdid the “Swagger Like Us” posse performance, most notably Tip’s and Wayne’s. When T.I. said “character will take you places money cant, I felt like I had won something. What? I’ll never know I guess. I wonder what category 808’s and Heartbreak will fall into next year. R&B or Alternative? Speaking of R&B, let me speak on ol’ gay ass Ne-Yo. The fact that he managed to look extra gay on a stage with three R&B singers (granted Smokey’s a legend with the hoes, Jamie is, um, pretty manly and the last surviving Four Tops member is so old it wasn’t called “gay” back then) shows just how damn soft Dougie the Whale is (You know you remember that episode of Fresh Prince.) And how the hell was that Year of the Gentleman shit nominated for album of the year?
All in all, it was a good show, and I’m hoping, just hoping, a rapper does well enough to get Best New Artist next year (I send my draft classes to Madden if that makes sense.)
And props to M.I.A for showin’ naked (and pregnant) ass durin’ the show. “Even though too many white folks who don’t get the song jam it, it was definitely worthy for Song of the Year.
AND props to J.Hud for winning R&B album of the year and that great performance in the wake of all her struggles. Keep you head up kid!