Wale - 'Razor Freestlye (Bad Guy)'

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you know I'm a huge wrestling fan.  If you know me, you know that Scott Hall is my favorite wrestler of all time.  So when you get someone rapping over Hall's "Razor Ramon" persona entrance theme, you get a post, form me telling you just how great it is.  Special thanks to +Kazeem Famuyide (@reallifekaz)  for making the whole #wrasslerap movement happen. For those unfamiliar - SAY HELLO TO THE BAD GUY!
 

An 87 Point Manifesto on what (name redacted) is Looking For in a Man

 I present to you, without opinion, or any editing, a Facebook post from one of my lady friends on what she's looking for in a potential significant other. I feel like this will lead to some interesting conversations...

1. Caucasian/Spanish decent (South American, Central American, Portugal, Spain)
2. 5'9" tall and higher
3. Educated (Associates with certifications, Bachelors or higher)
4. Chiseled face prefferred
5. Don't like six packs or body building (don't need your ego of fist pumping ways), but a healthy minded individual who works out from time to time.
6. Someone who cares about their health as equal as I do. Meaning, I like to pig out from time to time.
7. The right amount of charisma. Too much charisma is an egotistical bastard....ahem!
8. Treats everyone, equally, with respect. (Not a flirt. Doesn't talk bad about their friends behind their backs)
9. Treats me with respect at all times. A true gentleman knows what that is. Asking me to drive to you is not respectful, sorry. Lazy ass.
10. Mature. 
11. Someone who can teach me something.
12. Someone who isn't lazy when it comes to work and doing things for me (like driving to me).
13. Someone who isn't lazy 24/7. I'm lazy for a few hours of the day not 24/7.
14. Someone with a clean roomapartment/house/condo. If his place aint clean, his nooks and crannies and crevices probably aren't, either. Gross.
15. Someone with a decent, clean daily car. I have figured that your car says something about you. My 240 was a daily. Sure, it impressed guys who liked stuff like that, but it started becoming embarrassing for me driving up in a car like that when I worked at the Omni Hotel. It was time to grow up from that daily. 
16. Someone's whose job history is stable. Last guy I dated was an asshole but he had been at his job for 7 years and before that, about 4 years. Job stability says a lot about a person. 
17. Someone who actually has a savings account and actually saves.
18. Someone who volunteers, gives back to the community and/or society.
19. Someone with a good heart.
20. Doesn't want a "smooth talker."
21. I want someone that I wouldn't be embarrassed walking around/driving around with. Someone who would represent me and my decisions in the best light.
22. No "yo yo yo" types who wear their pants halfway around their gluteus maximus. Those are just not my style/kind of person I want for a husband.
23. Not a ladies man. No James Bond types, please. I don't need to deal with that.
24. No insecure types. Insecure doesn't necessarily mean jealous. An insecure man needs women around him all the time or needs to be constantly needed by some woman, any woman, at all times. I don't want that. I want a SECURE man who can ACTUALLY and ALLOWS himself to be alone without looking.
25. Someone that would impress my Mom and my other Mom. My Mom recently quoted to me: "Why are you dating all these losers?!"
26. I love fishing, if you love fishing, too, plus. 
27. Someone who doesn't mind me going fishing by myself.
28. Someone who loves to go out and dance with me and then go camping with me. 
29. Someone with the same music tastes as me. Nickelback? Get outta here. Lil Wayne? Get outta here. Don't know who Cut Copy is? Get outta here. lol
30. You have to love sushi.
31. You have to like Filipino food because I cook it.
32. Someone who has a sense of style/fashion.
33. Someone who appreciates the finer things in life like me. (Merker razors, cuff links, collard shirts, culture, traveling, quality not quantity)
34. Someone who meets my friends and actually interacts with them.
35. Someone who doesn't seek one sided relationships.
36. Someone who doesn't head change in certain areas of town. Meaning, someone who won't treat me swell downtown but then treat me like a stranger in another part of town. I don't need that.
37. Someone who doesn't tell me what to spend my money on and how to spend it, unless we were married. Red flag red flaaaag!
38. Someone who thinks this list of standards is superb and not in any way offensive or annoying. 
39. Someone who doesn't like to argue.
40. Someone who communicates quite well.
41. The first "stupid," you're outta here. No name calling, not even in a joking manner. Grow up, it's not cute. 
42. No power struggles. 
43. Non manipulative. I've watched my ex manipulate and lie to everyone, including myself, around him. I don't need that.
44. Any sign of aggression, even "playful," and you're out. 

    

    You made it to the halfway point.  Go get some water.  Or a snickers.

45. You like to argue and then have make up sex? Get outta here. Grow up. 
46. Non complicated. 
47. Balanced in all areas of life.
48. Someone who likes to self improve.
49. Someone smarter than me. 
50. Non charming. Charmers aren't all that great, trust me. 
51. I don't want the "life of the party" kinda guy. I'm 28.
52. If your grin is constant, and from one ear to the other, I don't want  you. Can't trust that.
53. Trustworthy
54. Honest
55. Knows what true integrity means. Integrity isn't telling people at work or telling your friends you are done with your gf and then going home and kissing her and being all cuddly. That's sociopathic and I don't need it. 
56. Someone who doesn't blame ALL their ex's for the break ups. Bad sign. 
57. Someone who doesn't go back to the past and sleep with their ex's. That is something I don't need to deal with or compete with or worry about.
58. I've always wanted someone family oriented. Someone close to their family. An Aunt has a birthday? Let's go! Dinner with parents? Let's go! I don't want a man who puts his friends first before his family. Don't need a people pleaser.
59. Someone whose parents are still together (if they are alive). It just shows the stability capabilities of a person.
60. Someone with stable parents.
61. Their parent's house is clean.
62. They had a structured childhood growing up. If you go to do whatever you wanted growing up, I probably don't want you. At 16, I had to come home at a decent hour. 
63. Someone highly motivated.
64. A man who can cook, bake, or grill. One or the other, handsome. One or the other. 
65. A man who likes a fine glass of wine.
66. Funny. Humor like mine.
67. Has a talent. 
68. A man who wears a suit well but loves comics/video games. (Don't lose yourself. Growing up doesn't mean letting go of interests/hobbies)
69. A man who has an equal amount of female/male friends.
70. Someone who is not a flirt. Don't need your egotistical, insecure ways.
71. Someone who would never dream of demeaning me/disrespect me.
72. Someone who is absolutely against hurting/hitting a woman, no matter what.
73. A man who has nice, respectful friends. 
74. A man with a future. 
75. Someone who gets along with their siblings and never talks bad about them.
76. Someone who has a stable best friendship with their best friend.
77. Someone who doesn't get mood swings. 
78. Someone with no femininity about them.
79. No cross dressers. No eyeliner wearing "men." I saw a friend suffer through that. No thanks.
80. Someone who has never cheated.
81. Someone who cares about children and their health and well being, like me. 
82. Someone who likes animals.
83. Someone who will eat cheap trailer food and then appreciate a five star restaurant.
84. Someone who doesn't mind that I like to fire weapons. 
85. If you're Catholic, I won't date you. I don't agree with their practices and Catholicism scares the living shits out of me. I would never spend the night in a Catholic Church and when I attend one, I literally get goosebumps, so it's obviously a bad thing. All other religions, welcome. Including Muslim and Jehovah's Witness. I have an open mind about religion. 
86. I would date a Middle Eastern over a Mexican any day. Those Palestinians and Jerusalem's are handsome!
87. And if you're ignorant and think all Middle Eastern's are the same, get the fuck outta here. 

     NO Exceptions. When I make exceptions, I get disappointed. There is no more room for mistakes and repeat mistakes in my life. No one is perfect. Therefore, it will be difficult finding someone who measures up to this list. But that's a good thing because I don't want anyone for two years or more.

Maybe You Just Think Gay People are "Icky" - Michael Sam Talk in the Barber Shop

I typically get a haircut every week.  Maybe it's vanity, maybe is insecurity, maybe it's routine, but every Wednesday morning before work,  There are two barbers in the shop I go to - they attend church together, and have a strict "no cursing" policy in place.  The TV is typically on one of three Channels - whatever network the Super funny lady that preaches with the short cut is on, Headline News because Robin Meade is fine, or ESPN.  The talk is typically tame - it's sports, it's TV/ movies, and at time, relationships.  This all came to a head last week, when one of the barbers asked if I had seen Michael Sam kiss his boyfriend after he was drafted.  Sometimes, by the way someone asks a question, you already have a feel for their opinion.  I told him flat out, "it was fine."  He paused, then asked why I thought it was ok.  I told him that it's just a guy kissing a guy, happens every day, the only difference is it happened on TV.  that's it.  What that led to was a legit hour of debate, ranging from religion to decency to children.  It was uncomfortable, frustrating, and at times enlightening.

Appropriately, Sam seems to have a permanent "you mad?" face.

 His main point was that homosexuality was, in his words, and abomination.  It's unnatural for two men or two women to want to be together, because it goes against our natural instinct to procreate.  You know what?  That's fine.  But that also makes it sound like the rest of us are having kids.  I asked him what that says about celibate people that choose not to have sex, or even people that have recreational sex, but choose not to reproduce.  His response?  That it's a personal choice, and it's different from homosexuality.  I didn't really see the point, but that's fine, I guess. He said our bodies weren't meant to for homosexuality, and that it's clear in our design that's not what was intended.  It's interesting - the two of us being tattooed, pork eating Americans in Polo and Nike shoes discussing the things our bodies were intended for.  But again, it's not that his point weren't valid, just not all encompassing.

The Last Temptation - word to Ja Rule.

This went back and forth for awhile, until we got to what I think was the real crux of the issue (a running theme of my writing in particular) communication.  He proceeded to tell me a story about his youngest son, and how a run in with a classmate caused him confusion.  His son was trying to physically explain one of his classmates.  "Dad, she has long hair!" he kept telling him, and his father couldn't find out why he kept saying that till he dropped him off one day and saw what he was trying to rationalize - it was a boy who wore his fair long in the vein of a girl that age.  Circling back to the Michael Sam kiss, he made it clear that things like this confuse children, and on top of that, is hard for a parent to explain to a child without causing some type of damage.  Here's where it went a bit off the rails:  He said that homosexuality was caused by a child experiencing sex before they are mature enough to process it mentally.  Now, there will always be a divide between people who think homosexuality is learned, and the people who think homosexuality is genetic, or inherent.   But to say that some type of sexual misconduct, or sexual episode is what triggers it, to me, isn't only fantastic, but very unsympathetic and callous.

We talked a bit about religion, because we both identify as Christians.  Now (because my mother might read this)  I do consider myself a Christian, but I can also say the exploits of  heterosexual men and women that identify the same way are one of the reasons I don't frequent church.  But church and I are for another time.  He asked if I believe God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, and i said sure, because some of that stuff in the Bible happened probably maybe.  But  it's awful convenient to condemn homosexuality, and look at other things considered indiscretions as "Every day life".  Again, we looped around to sports.  I asked him if Michael Sam is wrong, is Dwight Howard wrong?  Dwight Howard is a week older than me.  He's way taller, way richer, and way cornier, but that's all irrelevant.  In the same time it took me to make enough money to get cheese on my whopper, Dwight has found the time to have 8 kids by 6 women.  Read that back one time.  Then read Dwight Howard's Growing List of Baby Mamas.  GREATNESS.  I'm not here to throw rocks at the dude, but if the level of outrage toward fornication doesn't come anywhere near the level of outrage toward homosexuality, we're not only saying one sin is worse than another, but also sexual sins, between consenting adults, have varying levels of "evil" as it goes.  Now, he didn't know about Dwight Howard's "Starting 5 with a 6th man" squad, because things like that aren't publicized.  The same things that are vilified become publicized, because it puts eyes on the screen.

Artist rendering of Dwight Howard's family.

Where things kind of hit a stopping point was where the spread of homosexuality came into play.  I told him that one in ten people being gay, abomination or not, is not enough to destroy the institution of homosexuality.  Then he used the dreaded "C" word.  I'm not one to talk about cancer lightly, as it affects way too many people to joke about it.  But if homosexuality was cancer, we'd have died out A LONG TIME AGO.  Boys have been liking boy mouth, and girls girl mouth, for centuries.  It can't all of a sudden ruin procreation.  Why?  Because numbers, that's why.  I don't really see myself losing interest in women, because LOOK AT WOMEN.  That appeal isn't all of a sudden going to go away because I see man x and man y out on a date.  That's them.  So things were said, nothing was really resolved, and we left out on good terms.  We aren't enemies, just men at different points in life with different responsibilities.  But, to be honest, your views on homosexuality may be long, drawn out, may inspire debate and discourse, but well... sometimes it's easier to say "gays give me the heebie jeebies" and be done with it.  Honesty is usually respected, if not enjoyed.

Weekend Listening: Yacht - 'Psychic City'

I used to live, live...

Scandal, Mojoworld and Mortal Kombat - Multiple Relationships Part 3

(Editor's Note - This was my first attempt at a 3 person interview.  My words (C) will be in normal type, Miles' (M) in bold, and Anthony's (A) in italics.  Also - I recommend a Snickers and a Cigarette.  This was interesting.  Parts 1 and 2 can be found here and here.)

C: so let's have at it - first off... you all are the first men I’ve talked to during "multiple relationships week"

M: I'll try to keep things as succinct as possible.

C: so I’ll ask - what’s your take on what the women have said?

M: Surely you'll need to extend it a bit? This can't be constrained to one week.

C: hahahahahhahhahaha you may be right

A: I think the women who have spoke have spoke a somewhat good game.

M: Well, the one chick that was staunch in her beliefs? I felt like MAYBE she gave herself just a tad bit more credit. The theme of all the interviews has been the same though: "To each his or her own."

A: They say what they THINK they want but if a nigga is honestly that true and real about what he wants 9/10 you not fucking with 'em.

M: Which I dig. We're only hearing one side of a multi-faceted "issue" though. Why aren't they okay with admitting they've been a side?

Probably because they don't know they've been a side, in some cases. 😳

C: I wonder what that rate is.  now, the first young lady I talked to, I couldn't really say.  the second, I'd say she hasn’t been because I’m familiar with her history, and the length of their relationship

M: Whatever the case, they gave good perspective, it was just skewed.

A: I respect both the ladies views but could they really say they'd be okay being the side piece if the guy told them he got a main.

C: so let's look at the other side - well, #2 certainly not #1, almost certainly not. again, limited knowledge as a matter of fact, I’ll rule #1 out too, knowing her family.

M: Swag her out then.

C: amen.

A: Preach.

C: now - as of Wednesday, no sides wanted to be interviewed.

why do you all think this is?

A: Because they don't want to be known as a side.

This week, the sides were somewhere with this guy...

  

M: Not to disparage them, but every woman has the capacity to be a side. It just has to be for the right dude.  Well, "LHH:ATL" and shows of that ilk.

C: now, they don't want ME to know, or THE WORLD to know? because confidentiality was clear

M: Follow me now: The shows make it seem like a lot of these women are stone cold idiots. I've known college educated, upwardly mobile women to be sides. Some (read: most) are even cool with it.

C: I’m familiar with a few people of that same ilk.

A: As am I.

M: In addition, it begs the gender-equality question. How come I'll get high fives and pounds, but a girl catches that scarlet letter?

C: well let's ask this then - can a man truly be a side?

M: That's why I try to live in a judge free zone. Society might tell you you're a hoe baby, but society doesn't dictate OUR relationship. Yes, they most certainly can.  I can, and have been.

A: Of course a man can be.

C: now, I'd ask, are you really a side without the capacity to want to elevate your status?

M: Here's the caveat though: I have some sociopathic tendencies, and very little regards for peoples' feelings. That said, I've never went buck wild and tried to get with a woman that had me as a side. In most instances, I would PREFER to be the side.

C: ok, I get that.

A: These married women out here who just want them to give them something there husband can't is known as a side...to me.

C: also makes sense.

A: Unless, the vaginal is that great most are going to make it as a tally mark and a fuck.

Others are going to take it as "THEIR" pussy after the first time.

C: #savagelife

M: That's an interesting question. The way I see it, you absolutely can, because I try to live in a black+white world. Dig this: You can still be a side dude (splackavellie for all you 80's babies) without wanting to elevate your status. That elevation is extra. That's for the women and the estrogenally-advanced men out there. The good reverend Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson once preached to the congregation "Know your role and shut your mouth." I fully adhere to that. What you have with your man is none of my business. Also, I don't care to make it my business. Also, I don't care about you, you're strictly for carnal pleasure.

Wise words from a decent man.

A: Yes!  I've been a product of the side piece. Her husband found his fix in fishing rather than his wife's vagina.

M: R&B music and television and romance novels are the reasons sides don't know their place. It's really similar to the caste systems of old. Stay in your lane. I'll call on you when necessary, or she'll call on me when necessary.  Don't get it twisted though, I'm not attacking R&B music. I loves it.

A: I was over there every weekend doing what he should've been. No feelings were ever involved.

This went on for seven months.

M: Also, I'm aware "estrogenally" is not a real word, but readers, you get what I mean. Basically, weak men.

C: wow.  all good stuff.  so, if I tell you all that a show like 'Scandal' is blurring the lines of right and wrong, you would say...

M: You're absolutely correct. So many women ride for Liv, but they're watching the show with rose-tinted lenses. We shan't forget that she is the president's side piece in that show. "So? She's so powerful! She gets things done!" You're right, but why can't she find her own man? Double edged sword! Ha ha.

A: It absolutely is! Her independence is what draws and attracts women.

M: Let me recant that first sentence. I don't think it's blurring the lines. I think it's a candid look at sides. They're not always weak. People from all walks of life can be victims of circumstance.

C: fair

A: The fact that she is having an affair with the president makes women think twice.  Kinda like it's okay.

C: so does a man's status determine how many women he's allowed to have? or how acceptable multiple women is?

M: There's still very clear sides of the coin, but now women and pussy men are forced to listen to the argument for the strong sides, and not the women who are constantly stepped on and don't stand up for themselves.  No, it does not. I'm nowhere near the president, and Barnum and Bailey were calling me about how well I juggle.

C: ha!

M: Deep down, I don't think those women believe it's acceptable, I just think it's shattering their previous views of sides, and the novelty hasn't worn off.

A: I believe so. I got have billions of dollars and go into the strip. But let a Kyle lee go in there the females would flock more to him because he's city known.

*could

M: Now that the season is over, you can ask a woman, and the responses might be more spread over the spectrum, but more will admit that she's "wrong" than would during the season.

C: in you all’s experience, what’s the reaction to a main discovering a side - both to their partner, and to the other woman.

A: It's never been good for me. I can tell the side she is not nor will be my main and she'll claim that's fine.  The moment I'm out with my main and the side happens to be present, oh, she's going to make herself known.

C: ouch.

A: They don't want to look like an ass being dissed

M: Shit. That's a tough spot! I don't mean to get racist...Wait, yes I do, but it's not designed to offend.  SOME women are cool with it after explanation. Most of those women are white women. Some Hispanic chicks will try to kill your dog and get your scholarships taken away. Ha ha. That's not from personal experience, and is hyperbole, but you know what I mean. The problem is a lot of niggas don't know how to massage a situation. I have this wild ability to know the exact right thing to say to people at the right time. It's almost uncanny. So while it's never "okay," I don't get anything wild happening.

Like he wrote, it's never been "good" for me, but most of the time, it's never been "bad" either.

C: so you're essentially longshot dating in Mojoworld.

M: Essentially.

C: (reminds self to use a pic of longshot in the post)

M: Make sure Mojo or Spiral is in the background.

My guess?  He's pointing to the jig.

 C: now, as far as men go, what's that interaction like.  you ever have to dap up a husband/ boyfriend in the flesh?

M: Yes, but luckily not one that knew. I try to avoid actually fiving them or giving dap though. That's trifling.

A: Yes, I have. He actually was a family friend.

M: For me, though, a lot of that is preempted by the virtue that I try not to knowingly fuck with a girl that's messing with someone I know. Also, I try not to know who her main is. Remember, I don't care about alladat. You want me to enter you, cool. I don't want to know your life.

C: hahahahahahahaha this is going to have... interesting responses.

so here's the question - why?  not why do men cheat, cuz um... not going there.

but why carry on multiple relationships?

M: 1) Sometimes it is fun
2) It is not as difficult as people would have you believe
3) Sometimes one makes up for deficiencies of another (that you have ALREADY tried to work on)
4) Financial gain (my personal favorite)

There are other reasons, but they're fringe reasons. Typically #3 is the reason, for most dudes at least.

A: I have the same responses as Miles.  Adding get your marks off. See who can do what.  Every women can do something better than another. My opinion. No matter how bad or ugly she is.

C: heavy.

A: No matter if she's the main or the side.

C: well yeah, the reactions to this well be... uh oh.  So, anything you all want to say in closing?  Any advice for the road?

A: No true closing advice.

C: noted.

M: If men and women would be clear from the jump, a lot of this wouldn't happen. I'm not condoning it, but what's okay for me doesn't have to be okay for the next man or woman.

Catch me at @afrikaantastic on Twitter. Ha ha.

A: No matter how clear one is the other will never feel the same.  Point blank.

Follow Miles (@afrikaantastic) on Twitter

Follow Anthony (@topflite210) on Twitter